Flowergirl
by Kinetik.09
Summary: Two strangers on a busy street meet, forever changing their lives. The happy affable times, the turbulent rocky bad. Their relationship a twisted, tumultuous romance. How will it end for these fated strangers?
1. Prologue

Prologue

The methodical resonance of hurried steps, loud banter, and honking automobiles, frothed its way into massive blue holding the sun in the sky. The air was especially chilly this morning as it managed to freeze even those who were bundled like mountaineers. The citizens swarmed like ants around the city streets and crosswalks as they made their ventures to the hot coffee and warm food kept inside the coffee shops and diners. As time incessantly ticked along, the many faces and figures of the people blurred and melded together becoming one color, one face, one body of massive gray. Amidst the fast moving, turbulent heap of arsenic, two hues stood out conspicuously, adding a dash of color to the otherwise gray sea.

A man, with spiky hair the color of a tangerine, awkwardly slumped along the sea, shouldering past anyone who dared step in his way. His hair was a disheveled mess on his head and his face contorted and twisted itself into a hardened frown at his brow and ugly scowl at his lips. His faded black sneakers stomped upon the sidewalk, propelled by long muscular legs wrapped in classic blue jean pants. A navy peacoat protected his slumped torso from the chipping cold as a knitted muffler wrapped and weaved itself tightly around his neck. His tall, muscular frame rudely bumped and shouldered its way through the crowd, almost racing to reach its destination.

A woman, with sandy brown hair, strolled down the avenue, attracting the stares of those she passed. An innocuous smile greeted those who looked upon her, compelling them to a gentle nod or a hurriedly blushed hello. The dusty grey in her eyes twinkled softly in the morning sun as a pretty pink color set in her cheeks from the frosty weather. Her neck was draped in a lavender scarf as her coat billowed behind her, giving her the ethereal look of a Greek goddess. Dark denim jeans hugged her legs and sleek beige boots insulated her feet from the chill. White gloves enveloped her hands and a large tote bag hung from her shoulder as she gracefully wandered down the street, saying her grievances to those she bumped into, eliciting a jovial smile or daring blush from each personality.

The grumpy tangerine and elegant grey were approaching the busy avenue from opposite directions. The woman pulled from her bag a neatly folded map and inspected the item as she tried to find her designated location. The man aggressively moved forward, not bothering to excuse himself for the shoulders he ran into or for the persons he nearly knocked over. The woman, so absorbed in her task at hand paid no attention to the man rampaging toward her and the tangerine did not care to move to avoid hitting the woman, Like a train colliding with an obstruction on its track, the tangerine struck the unassuming grey, knocking her to the ground as her map flew from her hands and the contents of her purse fell onto the pavement.

The man stumbled over the woman before he caught himself and stopped his fall. The man brushed and readied himself to leave the woman there on the street before he saw the pretty color of her hair and the pained look on her face. He suddenly felt a wave of guilt pass over his being for thinking about leaving her on the street to pick up her belongings and carry on her way. Her map settled itself at his feet before he quickly squatted and began to pick up the contents that had fallen from her purse as she recovered from her fall.

'_Ouch,' _she thought repeatedly as the stinging in her bum flared then subsided. She squeezed her eyes shut before opening them and seeing a young man with spiky crayon orange hair hurriedly picking up her belongings before his deep chocolate eyes met with her sparkling grey irises.

His breath caught in his throat as he stared at the beautiful countenance of the woman he knocked over. A slender, feminine bone structure, rosy cheeks, a perfectly sloped nose, full pink lips, and the most beautiful set of arsenic eyes he had ever seen filled his vision. Long sandy hair shaped her face and the slight dishevelment it added to the allure she exuded. He quickly looked away as he felt a hot blush rise to his cheeks and whispered his apologies as he finished picking up her belongings and stood, his nervous hand tightly gripping her bag. He offered his hand to her as his scowled face stared down at her.

The world around her stopped as she looked at the strange hue of the man's hair and into the oceans that were his eyes. The curious stares of those looking at them as they walked down the avenue became blurred and peripheral. The uproar of the city quickly became background noise as the beating of her heart and the sound of her breath filled her ears. The world faded to black and slowed as the only thing she could recognize, could hear and see was this man squatting in front of her. She stared unabashedly into his sparkling chocolate depths and it was only when he abruptly looked away that she noticed so. She heard his whispered apologies but paid no mind as the bright hue of his hair filled her eyes. She stared ardently at his tresses, feeling the sudden want to entangle her fingers in his hair. He stood and extended his long slender arm to her as his hardened handsome face stared down at her.

She blinked once, twice, three times before his gesture registered in her mind. She smiled nonsensically as her skinned tightened and two dimples on each cheek peeked at the tangerine. She gingerly took the lean hand of the man and her eyes shone with childlike awe as they passed over his countenance. "Orange!" she whispered to herself as she stared. She suddenly felt herself being pulled up by the man and clumsily stood on her feet as the he held and steadied her.

"Are you okay?" he asked somewhat abruptly, his deep voice caressing her ears like velvet.

She answered yes, a bit too quickly, and smiled endearingly at him. She was so enthralled by his look that she didn't realize her tightened grip on his hand or the way she was staring at his face with no shame or shyness. It wasn't until a warm blush appeared at his cheeks as he looked away from her and nudged her with her purse that she had realized she had been shamelessly gawking at him and holding onto his hand with somewhat of a death grip.

"Uh…um…y-you dropped this."

He nervously stuttered through his words as he pulled his hand from hers and handed her bag and map back to her. He couldn't help but wonder why she was staring at him like that; it was making him even more uneasy than he already was.

Maybe she was upset about him knocking her over and having her belongings go everywhere? A pang of guilt ensued. But if she was she surely didn't exude a hint of animosity. Perhaps she was staring because she liked what she saw? Absurdity; no one ever did that, at least not to him. He mused that the reason she was gawking was because, like the rest of the general population he had become accustomed to, she was in grotesque awe of the ugly tint of his hair, or his tattooed frown or etch-a-sketch scowl. He was never a contestant in the looks department and was far from a gentleman; therefore someone as beautiful and sophisticated as her couldn't possibly be attracted to someone as simple and ugly as he.

He quickly turned away from her, attempting to start again on his trek before a slender hand stopped him. He heard the silky voice of the woman hurriedly shout and turned toward her, surprised by the urgency in her tone.

Before she knew what came over her, her hand shot out to grab the man as he turned to leave and her voice flowed from her throat. "Wait!" she heard her voice echo in her ears but didn't quite understand what she said. As the man's eyes nervously locked with hers she lost all words that had fluttered here and there in her mind. She briefly saw the people gushing around her, as if the man were a barrier keeping the ocean from engulfing her. She had to think of something to say if she wanted to keep him here for a little longer didn't she? She just couldn't demand that he stop without any justification.

"You…" she said, quite unsure of where her thoughts would take her. She paused and rapidly searched her mind for anything to say, something that would make him speak again. She remembered why they even happened to collide with each other and a bright smile lit her face. She let go of his arm and hurriedly dug through her purse searching for the item that caused her obliviousness. A childlike _ah-ha!_ escaped from her vocals as she pulled out a slightly crumpled map and began to hurriedly unfold it.

"You…you wouldn't happen to know where Haibisukasu Street is, would you?" she spoke quickly as she pointed to the map and smiled at the man.

A moment passed before her words registered in his head and another before he responded. "Yea…" he said as he took the map and briefly looked at it. He didn't comprehend what he saw; all he could focus on was the eyes of the woman, of her tender voice, and her slender hand. He blinked once, twice, forcing himself to comprehend what was on the map before momentarily looking up and seeing the wave of people grunting at him as he and the woman stood still on such a busy avenue.

"We should get off the street," He said as he turned to her and saw the nonsensical up and down bobbing motion of her head. He gently grabbed her wrist and led her into one of the covered patios of the many café's that lined the boulevard. He quickly found the street she was looking for and pointed it out for her, telling her how to get to the street from their destination.

His voice sounded smooth like chocolate milk as he spoke to her. She was enthralled by the mysterious character she had just met and at this moment would've done almost anything to have a casual conversation with him. His odd colored hair, his hardened frown and scary scowl; she couldn't help but to think that he had a strange cuteness about him. It was something about him that told her he wasn't as mean as his countenance would imply. Maybe it was the way he boyishly whispered his rushed apologies, or the way his chocolate eyes twinkled in the morning light. Maybe it was the way he effortlessly pulled her from the ground and held her so she could steady herself. At that moment she could feel the heat pouring off his body, maybe even more so because it was such a chilly morning. It wasn't heat from nervousness or anything of the sort. No, it was as if he had liquid fire running through his veins meant to keep others warm.

After he finished explaining how to her how to get where she needed to be, he handed her map back and gave a slight nod of his head, signaling his departure. She quickly started repeating the instructions he gave her, stumbling over her words and mixing them up as she talked. A perplexed look dragged its way onto the man's face as she smiled warmly at him, managing to elicit a heated blush.

"No," he said somewhat unsure, leaning back toward her to show her the proper directions on the map. He was so confused by her. There was no way she could be remotely interested in him, so why did she seem to want him to stay? Did she just want to mock him? Anger flared through his being then quickly subsided. Was she trying to get a good look at him for the police if she went through her purse and found things missing? No, she didn't seem like that type of person. So what was it then, why did she seem to want him to stay? '_No, she doesn't want me to stay, I want to stay'_ he thought. It was true, he was enthralled by the beauty she was and by the atmosphere that was her. He wanted to stay and talk with her before he was to be on his way. But he pushed away his secret desires and decided he would leave her be.

He finished showing her the directions and couldn't help but look at her side profile and feel a bit of scorn toward her. She was probably on her way to coffee with her friends and would be sure to tell them of her meeting with him. They would probably laugh at his expense and make jokes for a long time to come. As she was still looking at the map, comprehending the information he gave her, he stealthily back away and disappeared into the sea, his orange head bobbing as he walked amongst the crowd.

She was so mesmerized by his voice and so caught in her own thoughts as she stared blankly down at the map that it took her a moment to come back to the world, and another before she realized that the warmth she felt dissipating from the man disappeared. She wanted to thank him for being so nice and helping her (and maybe she wanted to buy him coffee for his good deed) but when she looked up he was nowhere to be found. Her breath caught in her throat as she twisted and turned, looking for the bright tint of his hair but it was nowhere in her line of sight.

What greeted her was the tumultuous rolling sea of gray, swaying to and fro in the morning light.


	2. Chapter 1

I let out a prolonged hiss as the warm air needled every part of my face, neck, and hands when I walked into the café. The sweet aroma of the shop slowly wafted toward my nose and drew my feet to the bar in middle of the scented haven. As I pulled out the stool I was greeted by the waitress that served me a refreshing cup of java nearly every day.

"Ichigo!" I cringed, hearing my name dragged out agonizingly slow.

She was a bit boisterous and rough, something that irked my nerves from time to time, but I'd learn to live with it. Usually if I said something she didn't particularly care for, she would attempt to hit me, her skills in martial arts something that wasn't to be taken lightly, even if she wasn't serious. She had been a childhood friend of mine and even still we bickered between each other as if we were in the playground, arguing over who would be the Indian, and who would be the Cowboy.

"Hey Tatsuki,"

"Oh! So he says 'hey' today!" she said loudly as she nudged me in the arm from across the bar. She smiled brightly at me and pulled out a pad of pen and paper from her back pocket.

"The regular? Black coffee, no cream, no sugar?"

I nodded yes as I wondered why she even bothered to ask; it never changed and probably never would.

"You're a boring guy aren't ya Ichi? Life needs spice every once in a while ya know!"

She quickly turned on her heel before I could respond and in a flash was back with a large mug filled with black coffee. I slid the money to her before I gulped down half the cup, feeling re-energized as my chilled body suddenly warmed. _Refreshing,_ I thought as I set the cup down and looked at my fragmented image in the swirl of ebony liquid.

The encounter I had earlier with that woman gently meandered itself into my jumbling conscious, the bright look of her eyes and the melodic tune of her voice engraved into my mind. I'm sure she was laughing at me and is probably sitting right now with her friends poking fun. I saw my murky reflection in the coffee as it settled and couldn't help but to feel a bit apathetic in regards to my looks; I long ago stopped caring about my appearance. I grew accustomed to the eyes that wondered if I belonged in a circus or the condescending laughter and finger pointing that I received on nearly a weekly basis.

I surmise it didn't help my case any either when by looks of it, I must've just gotten out of jail because my face was twisted and contorted in a manner that could only be achieved by spending long hard years in the slammer. I was used to the pointing fingers, the loud whispers, and the glares that I encountered so much so that it became expected behavior.

But when I saw her eyes wide with wonder and naïve awe, I couldn't help but feel she wasn't staring at me like that because I looked like a bum, or a thug, or anything of that nature, but because in some twisted way, she thought me attractive. But I quickly pushed such incredulous thoughts from my mind, as the likelihood that she thought something even remotely positive was nil.

I briefly wondered what she could be doing on Haibisukasu Street. There weren't any modeling agencies on that street, which I'm sure that's where someone as pretty as her belonged (either that or on commercials or something of the like). The only thing on that street were corporate offices and business; someone that pretty belonged in the magazines, one of the individuals that flawlessly flaunted their perfection and unreal beauty.

I was pulled from my thoughts as a group of 'the morning after' revelers entered the café, their vulgarity and impropriety ruining the peaceful atmosphere of the little shop.

_I hate the New Year_, I thought as a few patrons of the café turned to look at the group in disapproval. It was always like this around the New Year. Revelers would come from all over to ring in the New Year and with them came copious amounts of alcohol and stupidity. The college students were the worst of them though, as they seemed to come in packs of rats and would infest a certain area before being kicked out. They would vomit in our clean streets, destroy our property and commit other acts that can only be achieved with sake and young kids. I would always breathe a sigh of relief when they left and returned to their respective provinces.

I finished off my coffee and left a few dollars tip before I stood, adjusted my coat and walked over to the disruptive group sitting near the exit of the shop on the bean bag chairs.

"Would you mind keeping it down? You're disturbing the rest of the people here." I spoke slowly, almost softly as I tried to keep the harshness that all too often coated my voice at bay.

For a moment, they stared at me, as if I had another head actively sprouting from my neck. They then burst into laughter and teased bitterly, shooting foul insults as they laughed and pointed. My eyes locked with one of the boy's that was sitting closest to me and I slowly bent down as I hardened my frown and glared at him, effectively cutting off his snickering.

"I don't think you," I said indicating the boy I was looking at, "or your friends," I continued, glancing over at each member of the group, silencing them with my stony glare, "heard me correctly. Let me repeat myself: keep it down, before well…" I paused and smirked sadistically, "I don't think you really want to find out what happens if you don't. Got it?"

I heard a hurried and somewhat scared "Yes" from them as I finished, the threateningly glare in my eyes telling them that they didn't want to find out the consequence of what happened if they didn't shut it. I nodded and wished them a good day as I left. Sometimes having the look of a street thug came in handy when attempting to quiet a rowdy bunch of college aged people.

I made my way out into the battering cold and was met with an onslaught of the wind cutting into my lips and cheeks as I felt the blood retract from my face to insulate the more vital organs of my body. I felt the moistness of my eyes run dry and as I closed them I was met with a biting salty sting of tears refilling the parched tissue. I paused for a moment as my body accustomed itself to the outside air before moving to my next destination

I barraged my way through the torrent of limbs and torso's, but being a little bit more careful to not shamelessly knock anyone over as I had done earlier. I rounded the corner of the boulevard and found myself walking down the moderately empty street named after a six pedaled flower. A large building slowly made its way into my view, the bulky emblem at the summit reading _Itabashi Editorial Office_. It was in all actuality the "Daily Planet" of the metropolitan. It's major branch devoting itself to dishing out the new gossip tagged as news every day.

As I walked in I was once again met with the feeling of the blood returning to my face. I hastily signed in and made my way to the back of the jabbering first floor to the sleek elevator doors. I pressed the button that led to the pent house of the place, the usual tune of the elevator music resounding around me. As I walked out into the lobby of the floor a familiar figure came into view that immediately made me sigh out of frustration.

The man wore a goofy, childish smile on his face and bounded toward me with so much vigor and enthusiasm that always managed to annoy me.

"Ichiiiiggggoooooo!"

He ran toward me with open arms in the same manner a long lost lover would in a clichéd romance movie. But before he could embrace me I swiftly hit on the head and held him back as he tried again.

"Ichhiiiggooo! Why must you shun my attempts at affection? Why only me, Asano Keigo, your trusty right hand man?"

I stared long and hard at him, hoping that my glare would instill some kind of fear in him.

"You're not my 'right hand man' and there is no way in any corner of hell that I will let you hug me."

I looked disdainfully at the man, hoping that the look in my eye was enough to deter him from trying that move again. His vigor to hug me finally relented as he mumbled something incoherent about 'bad friends' and 'wet blankets'. Abruptly his head snapped up, a lecherous look that always concerned me flaring through his eyes.

"Ichigo, have you met the new girl!" He asked excitedly low, his eyes darting from the door that connected the lobby to the offices. He slapped his hands together and with a girlishly dreamy expression spoke, "She's so beautiful, and her chest a blissful valley that any man would kill to have his head placed within that coulee! Definitely, I'm definitely putting her in my next book!"

It was at his last statement that I punched him again, his personality and demeanor agitating me yet again. You see, Keigo was an author that specialized in writing about the more intimate matters of life that happened between couples; basically he was a sex novelist. The upper half of the Itabashi Editorial Office managed writers and business matters that dealt with the publishing of both novels and the daily newspaper. Keigo's pornographic novels had been a major hit for the company. Young teenage boys and old mate less men read his books with great vigor, the big-breasted beauties he described and the fantastic sex depictions luring readers to turn the next page to see what Sally would do next with Jack. On a few occasions his novels were adapted into "movies" that made him a very successful man of any status; this of course did not stop him from being a sexually starved individual who could not score a date with any woman, not even if she looked like a morphed foot.

I walked past him but not before he grabbed at me in an attempt to get me to stay blabbering on about finishing his description of how she would be portrayed in his next book. I quickly turned and pushed him away from me long enough to open the door to the next room. I slammed the door behind me and placed my back against it until I heard him say he would get me next time. '_Only in hell,'_ I thought as I began walking toward the secretary's desk. I turned to tell the secretary what time my appointment was but those words never came out my mouth as I saw who was sitting there.

It was the woman I had a run in with not even two hours ago. Her eyes shone bright in the office light as if she brought a lantern with her everywhere she went. That same upward curvature and slight coloring of her cheeks made my heart thud erratically slow as if it couldn't decide whether to beat out of control or slowly pace itself. I felt like running from her again, running from the intense marvel-ridden stare that made me feel as if she was judging everything about me. I opened my mouth to speak but quickly closed it when I couldn't think of anything to say; I just stood there, dumbstruck, as I stared into her eyes. I searched through my mind, trying to conjure up something to say to the beauty that stared wide-eyed at me. It was at that moment I had found something to say that the woman I'd come to meet stepped out of her office.

"Oh Ichigo, you finally came and it seems that I don't have to introduce you to the new secretary Orihime!"

I only heard speckles and spats of what she said but the word that speared me in my head was that name, _Orihime._ It was a pretty name just like the woman I saw before me, something that sounded sweet and hospitable, a name that would describe any angel of a woman. I felt slender fingers wrap around my arm and aggressively pull me away from the dream I was basking myself in. The personality pulling me was saying something about 'standing around like an idiot' and 'not having time to gawk at the new girl.' I wasn't paying her any mind but I was as sure as day that the woman, Orihime, had quietly whispered my name before the office door shut, cutting me completely off from her presence.

"What…what happened to Donna?"

I heard myself speak those words, not sure if that low whisper was really coming from me. I reluctantly turned toward the rather dark-skinned woman that stood before me, her hazel eyes eying my skeptically. I regained my composure and made sure to give her the deepest glare that I could muster to assuage her concern that something might not be quite right with me. She uncrossed and folded her arms, until she sighed and sat down in the large chair.

"The whore tried to seduce my husband."

She spoke the words nonchalantly as if she dealt with this sort of thing every day, shooing off the hordes of less than respectable women that came at her husband.

"So do you have the final revised version of the story?"

She looked at me expectantly as she leaned back in her chair, her eyebrow quirking a bit. I begrudgingly searched through the bag that was slung across my chest and pulled from it a large stock of paper and handed it over to the woman.

She quickly flipped through the pages, mumbling something about excellence and bestseller. Usually this would be my moment to gloat in pride that I had finished writing another epic but the softly burning eyes of that woman rummaged their way through my mind, clouding all coherent thought until I mused it would be impossible to think in a linear thought process again. In my twenty two years of existence I don't think that I'd ever been so attracted to a female as I had been to her; it was a hopeless case to believe that she'd felt the same way, it was angering that I couldn't get her face out of my mind. A pen was violently thrown at my forehead that I was sure left a circular bruise where it struck. I looked angrily at the woman who committed the crime, her smiling face seeming to make my temples throb with suppressed hostility.

"What was that for?" I growled through clenched teeth as I angrily rubbed the spot the pen struck. Her smirk only grew as did the vein that was pulsating on the side of my head.

"So what do you think of the new girl?" she questioned, innuendo tingeing her voice as her figure leaned forward and she set her head in her palms. It was now my turn to eye her dubiously, looking for a hint of the true meaning in her words.

"I don't know, not too much to say seeing as how I just met her," I said as I felt my eyebrow quirk.

She sat back once again, her smirk still playing across her face.

"Well I'll tell this about her, she's a very lovely girl! As soon as I saw her I knew that she would be my new secretary, her face is just too lovable and innocent to turn away!"

She was scrupulously staring at me, looking for a slight change in my visage but I gave her none; if she thought that I was as stupid as Keigo to blotch my face with my true emotions she would be sadly mistaken. I turned my back to her signaling that our little meeting was over until next week when she would give me an overview of what would be done with the story from this point on.

"I'll hold onto this," she said lazily waving the manuscript in the air, "you should get to know Orihime better, you'd be missing out if you didn't!" she practically yelled it from her chair as I hastily slammed the door in an angered frenzy; I don't know what it was about the woman that could get my blood boiling at even the littlest things but the cackling I heard could start my list. I was sure steam was pouring from my head as I walked from the office to the secretary's desk. That same erratic thudding of my heart came over me once again as my eyes met with the soft grey that was looking so harmoniously at me. I cleared my throat and told her to put me down for an appointment next week. She quickly did so and handed me the slip verifying that the appointment was legit. I was about to walk away until I heart that soft harmony playing in my ears drawing me back to where I stood.

"So you're name is Ichigo?"

She said it softly and when I turned to face her, a small smile picked at her lips and seemed to brighten her whole countenance. I heard her say my name again and giggle softly this time, her actions making her seem like a sweet naïve child. My pessimistic nature couldn't help but think she was mocking me again that she was thinking in that pretty little head of hers why is a grown man named after a fruit. I was about to give her the explanation of my name until she spoke again, her voice compelling me to listen.

"So who do you protect?" she asked softly as she stared up at me. I, for the life of me couldn't grasp the meaning of her words; that voice mixed with her face made all cognizant thought beyond me.

"Huh?" I managed dumbly from my lips as her gentle eyes sparkled. It hadn't been two minutes since I started talking with her and I was already making myself look like a complete and total idiot.

"You're name silly, Ichigo means one who protects. So I was asking who it is you protect." I was completely caught off guard by her knowledge of my name; and here I was thinking that she was just a pretty face. I couldn't help but love the sing-song way she said my name, the way it rolled off her tongue with such perfect enunciation that I wanted her to repeat it a thousand times.

"Well…I don't really protect anyone besides my family I guess," I garbled my words to her as a nervous hand drew itself to the back of my head and began entangling itself with the spiky hair that needed some serious trimming and reshaping. She nodded serenely at me as my mind jumbled and raced over what to say to her to keep the conversation going.

"So Mr. Ichigo what might your last name be?"

"Kuro-Kurosaki,"

"Mr. Kurosaki Ichigo huh," she said it so affectionately that it was almost a whisper caught in the warm air and I almost had to hit myself in the head to remind me that this was indeed reality. She crossed her arms and leaned forward as she smiled and her eyes twinkled. "Well Mr. Kurosaki Ichigo, I'm sorry that we didn't properly introduce ourselves earlier. I'm Inoue Orihime!" She extended her arm out to shake my hand as she stared shamelessly at me. I took her hand, amazed by how soft and silky her hand was. "N-nice to meet you too, Inoue-san." I nervously said as I shook her hand and stared into her eyes. After a moment I let go and bid farewell, leaving from the office space as quickly as I could. I made it to the elevator before I looked at my hand and thought of the beauty I had the fortune of meeting. The warmth of her hand still lingered on my fingertips and even when I ventured out into the cold of the open-air, that warmth that surrounded my hand couldn't be dissipated.

It could not.


	3. Chapter 2

The month of January fluttered by just as readily as it had flapped its frosted wings in. During this period most of my time was spent at the gray building, setting dates for publications and appearances, getting the short snappy interviews done, and certainly thinking of innovative genius ways to bamboozle people out of their money with a nice smile and a sincere 'thank you'. With the chief editor's annoying antics and Keigo's rather obscene attempts at affection and storytelling I seemed to find a balance in this little office world by conversing with the sandy head that always smiled brightly at me.

In the beginning it was hard for me to carry on a conversation without feeling like an idiot, but as the tortuous weeks of the month sauntered by, I started to feel not as awkward and out of place around her. I actually began to relax and not think that every time I would communicate with her that she was viewing me in the worse way possible. Honestly, she was a very pleasant woman, a little airhead at times, but nonetheless pleasant; pleasant to be around, pleasant to talk to, and always pleasant to look at.

"Hello Mr. Kurosaki!"

She all but sang my name as I lopsidedly smiled at her upon my arrival. Ah…her voice…I could go on for days explaining it, telling of it's different pitches and octaves that kept my ears always waiting to hear her speak again, describing it so fluently that it would be easy for a musician to put the notes down on a music sheet, but it wasn't enough. Her vocal was something to be heard in person, something that had to be experienced to know the full vitality of it, something that would make a man of any status violently tumble into a smitten state with her. Even as clueless and inexperienced in that world as I, I could tell that about her, I could tell that she unintentionally shattered the heart of many and probably unbeknownst to herself helped them tape it back together.

"Uh, hey Inoue, your cheery as always," a hand instinctively made its way to the back of my head and knotted itself with my hair as my stance straightened and a hand slipped inside my pocket, "Is Yoruichi in her office?"

She jovially nodded to me and held her hand close to her mouth signifying she wanted to tell me something. I leaned down to her sitting position, my ears scrawling themselves in a coarse red as she spoke, "But I don't think you should go talk to her right now, her husband is in there and they are having a heated discussion about him inventing something in the kitchen!" Her excited warm breath tickled my ear as she whispered, making the pulse of my heart throb to a heightened state.

"If that's the case shouldn't she wait until she's home until she'd do that…bringing home problems to work is just a bother for everyone else…" I whispered the last part under my breath.

"Well he called, told me that it would be better to let her find out now than to come home and find it. He said she would-"

She didn't get to finish her statement before a woman with black hair and hazel eyes stormed from the door of her seclusion with a hunched form meekly slumping behind her. "Urahara, how many times do I have to tell you to stop using your chemicals in our pots? Do you have any idea how much money it cost each time you deform something in the kitchen?"

"But sweetie, it was a part an ongoing experiment I was doing for work, there was no other way!"

Suddenly a loud cracking sound was heard as a hand from a certain dark skinned woman met with the cranium of a blonde headed man. She was incoherently yelling now as she pummeled the man with a five inch black pump. After her tantrum I was sure the man was dead until his limb twitched and he seemingly cracked a smile in his unconscious state. It was at this time that the mad woman looked over at me and Inoue, her eyes telling the world she had killed before. I felt nervous, almost frightened that she might take out her ire on us next and leave us in a heap on the ground like her other half.

"Lunch break, yes it's time for a lunch break! Ichigo take Orihime out somewhere nice, she's still new so you should show her around town or something!" she yelled in a high pitched tone as she cracked a smile at us, that menacing look still in her eyes. I began to make a protest to her, telling her that I had a tight schedule to keep and I couldn't take anyone out to lunch. But as she saw my mouth open, a threatening look and an oversized silicon smile made its way to her face, "Are you protesting Ichigo, you wouldn't want to be rude now would you, take a lunch break, be back in an hour or two."

It wasn't a choice on my part; the glower in her eyes told me that if I showed slight disapproval she would most like murder me on the spot. She grabbed the unconscious man by the collar and dragged him back into her office leaving me and Inoue in a bemused state. I slowly turned my head back to her, a nervous crooked smile on my face.

"I guess I'm taking you out to lunch huh?"

* * *

The colorful booths were relatively empty as soft foreign music played in the backgrounds of the restaurant. The little American bistro was dimly lit, giving the customers a break from the bright artificial light that would usually be found in places such as this. The boisterous cries of the chef were easily heard over the tender music as he jubilantly ordered and directed his faithful servants this way and that. Hot plates of food were flying from the kitchen doors, sizzling and ready to be eaten by the patrons that sat at the clothed booths. My stomach growled in protest as the smell of hot tasty food wafted across my nose. I paid no attention to it though, as all my attention was focused on the person sitting in front of me.

She was acting so adorable, turning her head every way, her cheeks warm with color and her pink lips slightly parted while she looked around at the restaurant amused by the new atmosphere. She caught me looking at her and immediately gave her full attention to me with that large luminescent smile adorning her face. I crookedly smiled at her, hoping she wouldn't notice the loss of color to my countenance.

"Ah! Mr. Kurosaki, this is such a nice place, you didn't have to bring me here!"

She sounded so genuinely happy to be in the little place and it seemed to boost my pride a little, knowing that I had taken her somewhere she liked.

"Uh, it was nothing; I thought that I would just take you to one of the best kept secrets in town. They have great food and aren't too fancy or highly priced."

Her grey eyes shimmered at me, the color and radiant brightness mesmerizing me as I gawked at her, trying to commit the look she carried to memory. I realized that the longer I stared into that soft gripping grey the more I found myself unable to look away. She was so beautiful, so innocent looking and ethereal, so… everything. She was everything I wasn't and then some, she was everything I wanted in a woman, and she was everything I knew I couldn't have. I suddenly found the strength to tear myself from her gaze and abruptly did so as my heart pounded itself inside of chest. I quickly picked up the menu and started looking down the rows of menu items, not really comprehending what I was reading as I looked at it; all that was in my mind was her eyes, floating around me in a teasing way, mocking me with what I couldn't have.

"You guys ready to order?"

A distant voice made its way into my head as I looked up at the waitress. It was one of the waitresses I had acted cold with many times before and tried as best as she could to keep away from me. By the look of her face it seemed that she had been forced into waiting on us, her co-workers battling in a game of rock-paper-scissors and unfortunately she had come up short. I quickly told her my usual order and turned my attentions toward the person in front of me signifying that it was her turn.

I was shocked at the amount of food she ordered; how could someone with such a petite shapely figure ever eat all this food and keep herself looking good? It was this coupled with the weird arrangement of food that she was getting that had me in a mild state of disbelief; a triple decker cheese burger with sauerkraut and cream cheese? Who eats that? I didn't even know the place served sauerkraut. After the waitress was gone she sheepishly looked at me with a large grin on her face as I'm sure I was looking at her with a look full of skepticism.

"Eh heh heh, I really eat a lot,"

I shook my head and gave a slight chuckle as she rubbed the back of her head and laughed sheepishly. We began to chat about nonsensical, meaningless things as we waited on our food to be served. I didn't care though; anything to hear her sweet voice or get a glimpse of her smile was enough for me. If all it took was some silly back and forth banter to do that, then I would do it until she grew sick of it.

"Oh! Valentine's Day is in two weeks Mr. Kurosaki! Who is the woman who's getting all you love?"

She asked the question excitedly as her hands cupped her face. Her eyes were twinkling bright and a smile at her lips as she sat there, waiting for me to answer. I scratched the top of my head and put my arm around the booth before I answered her inquiry.

"Mph, I don't have anyone like that in my life." I said as I looked away from her soft gaze.

"Oh…" she said softly her words trailing "I don't see why though. Mr. Kurosaki is such a nice, sweet person. I wouldn't be surprised if you had some ladies swooning over you even now."

I chuckled sarcastically as I closed my eyes and responded. "You don't have to flatter me Inoue, I know I'm not that-"

"Oh no Mr. Kurosaki, I'm not trying to flatter you, I'm just being honest! You're sweet and kind, even if you try to act as if you're not, and you helpful and you try to be the best that you can despite what people may say about you or think and…and… you're just a wonderful person."

I turned my head back to her, our eyes crashing together as I did so. I was looking for some hint that she was lying to assuage my self-deprecating nature but I could not see it. Instead I saw was an honest sincerity in her eyes that couldn't be faked as she sat there, her elbows on the table, her face in her hands. I opened my mouth to retort but our waitress returned with hot plates of food and Inoue promptly sat up, her full attention focused on the piping hot cuisine that was on our table.

We sat in a comfortable silence while we ate and I couldn't' help but try to catch a glimpse of her between each bite of my burger. There was just something about her that pulled me in. I felt as if I was a moth being drawn to her light, and even if I knew that I would be hurt by that light, there was just something about it that still drew me in. I pondered what that 'something' was about her as we ate, and I was so wrapped in my thoughts that I didn't even realized she had finished and was in the process for paying for our meal. I quickly tried to stop her but she shook her head no toward me.

"It's the least I could do for when you helped me. I never got to properly thank you for that anyway." She smiled so prettily at me when she said that, her grey eyes twinkling as she looked at me. I began to open my mouth to protest but she closed her eyes and turned her head away from me, effectively shutting me up. She peeked an eye open at me and smiled before stood and went to the counter to pay. I followed after her and thanked her once I reached the counter she stood at.

As we walked out into the frigid February cold I took her to different parts of the province while Yoruichi and her significant other settled their problems in the office light. It was nice being with her, taking her to some of the not so well known places and looking at her face in awe. We chatted all along the way and by the time I escorted her back to her place of work I couldn't help but feel a little bit closer to her. And as I walked away I thought about the one day of this month I generally felt myself glossing over; Valentine's Day.

Maybe, just maybe it wouldn't be so insignificant this year.


	4. Chapter 3

"Here, it's from me,"

The playful cries from the recess park circulated through the cool wispy air as two figures stood in a sandy corner of the playground. A girl, small in stature, with hair the color of auburn leaves on a crisp autumn day, stood straight as her wide, heart piercing cerulean eyes stared at the figure in front of her. A boy, a little taller than the pretty girl in front of him had hair the color of a ripe tangerine on a warm summer day as his eyes sparkled in the afternoon light, making the chocolate color deepen to new heights. A crooked grin adorned his face as he held his hand out to the girl, a small card firm in his grasp.

He took a step toward her as she took the card from his hand and opened it to read. Her face scrunched as she read and when she completed the minuscule passage she threw the card on the sand and stomped on it, crumpling the crisp card and filling it with sand.

"That's corny!" she yelped in her high pitched voice as she crinkled her nose at him, "I don't like your card or your stupid hair, so leave me alone!" she stuck her tongue out to the boy and quickly stormed off, surely to tell her friends and laugh at him when they returned to class. His shoulders were slumped, his head was down, and tears brimmed in his eyes as he picked up the card and shook it free of sand. He opened it and read the contents to himself as the young girl's words repeated his head over and over.

_I'm Superman; can you be my Louis Lane?  
I'm Spider-Man; can you be my Mary Jane?  
Since I'm yours, will you be my Valentine?_

His mother helped him pick that card out; she said it was good enough to get the prettiest girl's affections. He wiped his unshed tears on his sleeve and stuffed the card into the his pocket and looked longingly over at the girl who now was holding hands with the heart throb of third grade. They looked over and started to taunt him, causing the other kids to do the same until the boy ran from the park to his home, to his mother, to her warm welcoming arms.

* * *

I awoke with a start as the noise from my alarm clock blared in my ears. I groggily searched for the clock and hit the snooze button to end its singing. I looked over to my left and saw the red letters on my clock reading _6:59_ and the words under it displaying _February 14. _The infamous, supposedly most romantic year of the day when men all over the world spent hundreds, thousands of dollars on that very special girl, trying hard to win her affections and down those pants only have their gifts taken and their needs unsettled.

I hastily threw the comforter from my body and padded toward the bathroom. The restroom was empty, just as the rest of my apartment, with just the barest essentials gracing the walls and floor. I turned on the facet and poured the water on my face as I thought about what I had to do today. Interviews…interview…interviews…and more interviews. I quickly thought over Inoue and getting her something for today but I pushed that thought from my mind. However, as I dispersed of my clothes and turned the shower on, the thought of a gift and her mingled in my mind until it pressed to the surface and caused me to stop and think about it.

I was not expecting anything physical from her at all, it was just the prospect of seeing that smile on her lips and that twinkle in her eyes that made me want to go out and get something for her. It was just that thing she had about her; that air. She could change your whole world with a whisper of her voice and a smile from her lips. She made you feel like the only person that mattered when you would see that luminescent sparkle in those grey irises, like it was only for your eyes to witness. If it was only for that reason, I would buy her anything to see that look on her face, to hear her soft translucent harmony play in my ears. I realized I zoned out when the hot water washing over my body turned starkly cold and caused me to yelp in surprise. I quickly finished bathing and turned the water off and began to get ready for the day.

* * *

"Ah! Mr. Kurosaki did you graduate from college early?"

A young student in the stands of the classroom called out. I was at the local university, acting as a guest speaker while also promoting my newest book. When I told Yoruichi of my plans to wear a long-sleeve shirt and blue jeans to the university she would not have it. She made me cut my uneven, unshapely locks and dressed me in a collared shirt, black slacks and a blazer jacket in the sort of fashion that a mother would dress her young child.

"Yes, I actually did. I started college when I was still a senior in high school and after I published my first book I received the funding to continue studying after I graduated and just last year I received my degree in literature."

A smirk was on my face as my hands planted themselves comfortably in my pockets and I saw the students hastily writing down the information. It was only at these times when I didn't feel out of place or awkward because I felt that I had actually made something of myself, that I had accomplished something besides being named the ugliest and scariest guy in school. When I was being interviewed like this I felt that young writers looked up to me in a way, like they could achieve something spectacular in a short amount of time too; that feeling that I felt only at times like this, was invigorating.

It wasn't long before I finished my interview and subsequent book signing at the university. I had several more interviews to go through that day and during the rest of the week, but I decided I would give myself a break before my next scheduled appointment.

I stopped in at the nearest coffee shop and ordered a cup of coffee as I thought of the things I had to do today. My thoughts passed over Inoue and whether or not to get her something. I don't know how long I sat there drawling over my thoughts but when I came back to reality a waitress was standing over me, asking if I wanted more coffee. I quickly told her no, paid for my drink and left a tip as I stumbled out into the freezing cold. I decided that I would get her a gift and give it to her, and hope that the outcome wouldn't be as bad as I was expecting.

* * *

It was only when I arrived at the store I realized that picking out a gift for Inoue was going to be much harder than I originally thought. There were hundreds, no thousands of different kinds of candies, chocolates, cards, teddy bears, baskets and more 'personal' items that lined the walls of the moderately sized store. I stopped in front of the cards section and anxiously rubbed the bridge of my nose out of frustration.

What am I supposed to get her? Would she like something elaborate or inexpensive? Did it really matter? And why in the world was I trying so hard to get a gift for a woman that I had only known for a month and a half? My stature slumped as the vitality I had come with quickly deflated when my eyes darted over the elaborate and plain cards.

A small figure came to stand beside me and when I turned to see who it could be, it was an old man. He had thick glasses covering his face and liver spots speckled across his head where his hair once was. He was neatly dressed in a plaid sweater with a collared shirt and tie beneath it. His hands were clasped behind his back and when he looked over to me he smiled, his aged skin crinkling in his face as the white hair that partially covered his upper lip crumpled too.

"Ah, nice day isn't it young chap?"

I chuckled at the way he spoke his Japanese and nodded back as I turned to look at the cards while staring at him out the corner of my eye. He leaned inward to the cards as if he was meticulously inspecting the cleanliness and legitimacy of the card to give to his mate.

"Oh Dorothy would fancy this little chipper here…"

I suppose he was speaking to himself as he plucked the card from the stands, seeing as how he spoke English in a sophisticated British accent. He opened the card and genuinely chuckled as he read the words printed on the card.

"I suppose that's for your wife huh?" I spoke in English and caught his attention as he looked back at me.

"Oh, yes, yes young chap, this is for me mate! She would absolutely adore something like this,"

"How are you so sure?" I asked skeptically as his deep green eyes sparkled from behind the frames.

"Oh I just know, with my heart that is, it's how I've always picked her cards. Do you need some help picking a card for your special lady young chap?"

He looked at me with clear eyes and an understanding look as I felt heat rise from the back of my neck. Did I really look that helpless that even an old man would take pity on me? I scoffed and stuck my hands in my pockets as I looked away from his elderly face.

"Oh come come now, don't be like that young man, it's okay if you don't know what to get that special lady, we've all been there before."

I looked back over at the gentleman and was mildly surprised when I didn't see a haughty look in his eye or a supercilious smirk at his lips. Instead what I saw was an undeniable look of empathetic understanding mingled with an indisputable want to actually help my situation. I fully turned back to him and sighed, my head held down in defeat as I silently agreed to let the man help.

"Oh don't be so melancholy, I promise to help you out," he patted me on the shoulder and let a reminiscent chuckle leave his throat as he stared at the cards.

"I remember I was just like you in my youth. The first time I went to the gift store to buy my pretty little Dorothy a card I was sweating bullets. I would have made the young beauty a card with my own hands but you see, I'm not too keen with using those elaborate pretty words to explain how I feel so I thought going to the local gift store would be the place to go. Oh, there were so many cards I could get her but I just couldn't decide. I was about to get her a card that halfway explained how I felt about that pretty little wife of mine, but I quickly put it down and reminded myself that I wanted something that would describe exactly how I felt about her."

Nostalgia was plastered on his face and for a second I could have sworn that I saw him as his younger self, nervously sweating as he apprehensively searched through the sea of gift cards.

"I reminded myself that it was an all or nothing deal. Told myself that if it didn't express exactly how I felt that I would go to my little flat and scribble my thoughts down and give that to her. Well I took another shot and looked over the gift cards letting my feelings for her chose and that's when I found it, I can even remember the words that were in it."

I smiled slightly as he reminisced and thought hard about what the words of the first card that he gave to his wife.

"It read…_Darling you are my world, sweetie you're my life. Without you here my universe would be filled with turmoil and strife. I'm glad that you're here right by my side, and you can guarantee that I'll never leave you behind. When your pregnancy hormones go out of control, always know I'll be there to console. And when you think everything is headed for the worst, be comforted by the fact to know that I'll go headfirst. And when we're old coots sitting in a cottage house, and you look like a grandmother mouse, know that I'll always love you and your cherry little smile, your sparkling loving eyes, my beautiful wonderful darling."_

I chuckled as he finished reciting the card. It was heartfelt, something that would make any woman chuckle and cry tears of happiness at the same time.

"Ah when I gave that to her she nearly killed me with smooches. But enough about me, have you decided what to do?"

He looked up at me with a smile on his aged lips, that nostalgic look still speckled in his eye. I shuffled a bit and looked over at the cards looking for one that explained how I felt about Inoue. But wait, how did I exactly feel about her? I wasn't too sure at this moment. I knew for sure that I was attracted to her but was that it? Was I just lusting over her this whole time or did I have more of a connection to her than that? I thought over the small talk and little bits of conversation we had and to anyone it would appear that we were merely friends. But as I thought over it I realized that I might want more from the relationship with her…that…that I might have a crush on her.

I inwardly groaned as I thought about it. Out of all the billions of people in the world, millions of people In Tokyo, and the hundreds of thousands of people in Itabashi I had to like her? Why couldn't I like someone that at least in the possibility of a lifetime would like me back? I silently glared at the cards, mentally battering myself for crushing on a woman that I had no chance with. I heard a shuffle beside me and remembered that the old man was waiting for me to pick something. I couldn't disappoint him when he obviously held such a capacious look of hope in his eye.

I plucked a card from the stands; it's covering not too gaudy and elaborate but also not so plain and bland. One the cover two kids, a boy and girl, stood opposite each other with wide smiles plastered on their face. The words on the front read, '_I know we adults and we're supposed to be mature now…' _I flipped the card open and read the rest of the contents, '_but for this one day, can we be kids again? Can we play on the merry go round and throw sand? Can we eat triple scoops of ice cream and skate down the street? And for this one day out of the whole year, can you be my Valentine?' _the kids from the cover were running around, playing on the playground, eating ice cream that towered over them and the last picture of the kids was the little boy with a blush on his face holding out a card to the girl while she blushed.

I cracked a smile as I looked at the card somehow knowing Inoue would love the cute and fluffiness of the card. Even if I never had a chance in the whole universe with her, I didn't want to tarnish that image she had of me; I didn't want her to think of me as a jerk. The man smiled at me when I looked back at him, his eyes shining bright.

"See it wasn't that hard now was it? I bet that gal is head over hills for you, a young man like you! Ladies gravitate toward you huh young chap?"

He gave me a poke in the side as I chortled at his remark. Ladies coming after me? That would happen when people in hell could finally get the ice water they thirsted after day and night.

"…Yea…I guess so,"

"Well, I must be leaving. I presume everything will go smoothly with that gal of yours. As for me I must be getting back to my Dorothy, she is awfully fretful when I'm gone too long."

I sighed when he left, the difficult part of this out of the way. Now all I had to do was get some flowers and chocolate, maybe even a bear. Or was that over the top? Getting all this stuff? I didn't want to give her the impression that I expected something from her in return because in all honesty I didn't. I-I just felt compelled by some unknown reason to do this for her, to see that smile at her lips.

About thirty minutes later I walked from the store, my hands bombarded by all the things I was carrying. I would go home to arrange everything and then stalk over to the editorial building to give her the gift. As I slowly trekked home the shrilly screams of a woman filled the air and in a second I was pushed to the side as a street mugger ran down the avenue. I gritted my teeth in anger as a woman yelled that the man had her purse and I immediately dropped what I was carrying to race after him.

I didn't care if it was a woman that I absolutely hated, it didn't give me or any man the right to lay their fingers on her or her personal items. It didn't matter to me that it was a stranger I was doing this for, the fact that the mugger took advantage of her only made me seethe with anger; I would track him down a beat him to a pulp once I got my hands on him. He threw obstacles in my way trying to slow me down but unfortunately for him I was used to it. Years of chasing down thugs taught me to jump to astounding heights; if I ever wanted to I could have been the track star at my high school.

In a short span of time I caught up with the perpetrator and jumped on his back feet first, sending him crashing to the cold pavement with a cracking thump. I bent down, my knee now in his back as I pulled the cap off his head and ground my knee deeper in his back. He groaned in pain as I snatched the purse from his grasp. The lady from earlier came up to me with two police men by her side yelling indiscriminately. I handed the purse to her and was about to pummel this idiot into the ground until a hand firmly grasped my shoulder. I turned from him and gave the police officer a murderous glare as he stared back weakly at me.

"What do you want?" I questioned as my voice came out as a low growl.

"Uh um sir, now that we've caught the thief it's not necessary that you ah…um…cause physical harm…" he voice trembled as he spoke and removed his hand from my shoulder.

I sighed heavily and removed myself from the man's back, not wanting to cause any more of a scene. I turned to walk away when one of the police officers beckoned me back to the scene. He held a bag to my face, the bag that I had in my hands not even five minutes ago. It was gnarled and damaged, the contents inside surely disfigured. Anger boiled inside of me as he told me that after I dropped my bags someone must have ravaged through them and took what they could get. He apologized to me and gave the bag back to me as he turned to take his leave. I looked inside and saw that everything I bought was now useless.

The crimson pedals of the roses lay at the bottom of the bag as the chocolate I bought was half open with two thirds of the candy missing. The small teddy bear was missing an eye as his arm lay detached from his body. And the card, the card I drawled over to pick out was crumpled, torn and had smears of chocolate running through it. He didn't give me the second bag that held all the wrapping papers and accessories to go along, meaning that whoever it was who ravaged through the bags shredded it to bits. I angrily closed the bag, thanked the officer for bringing it to me, and stormed down the street.

When I got home I threw the bag on my couch and sat down in the chair adjacent to it. As I sat there in the quietness of my apartment I realized that I pitied myself, although I did deserve it. But as my pride started jabbering away in my head I slowly stood and put my index finger and thumb on the bridge of my nose. I had come across things more difficult in my life than this and my pride wouldn't let me give up that easy; I was a fighter after all, I wasn't about to be knocked down after the first round. I walked over to where the bag lay and slowly took out all the contents of the bag seeing what I could and could not salvage.

The chocolate and roses were definitely out and I immediately stuffed them back into the broken bag. The bear was salvageable and with a sewing kit and a button I could make it good as new. The card, that card I work so hard to get was ruined; there was nothing I could do with it. I outwardly groaned as the thought of going back into that store to find another card filled my mind. I pondered back to that old man and the thought suddenly hit me. I could write one myself; I was an author after all, I should be able to think up a couple of lines. I decided that I would write a new card, sew the bear back together, and get her some flowers.

I quickly took out the card stock that I kept around my apartment and sat at my desk thinking of what I should write. What was I going to put after all? Did I want to sound forward in my feelings or did I just want to implicate? Was it to be funny or seriously romantic? What words would I use? Simple ones…no that would make her think that I thought she was stupid. But what if I used a word too elaborate and she didn't know what it meant? Then she would think I was trying to be ornate and showy.

I sat there in my office chair for a good thirty minutes trying to think of something to say. I threw the pen down in frustration as I heatedly rubbed my temples, vaguely thinking that if I rubbed them hard enough they would give me an answer. All I had to do was find a few things that I liked about her and put it down in words, I mean really, was it that hard? My mind raced over what was causing me to crush on this woman.

Well for a start, she was pretty, had eyes that sparkled like champagne, a smile that could make a suicidal person want to cling to life again, and the prettiest color of hair that I've ever seen on anyone's head. But that was just her physical assets; there was still her personality to account for. I started writing down bits and pieces of what I thought about her and after a while the adjectives started to connect themselves to nouns, verbs, and prepositional phrases, the card I bought inspiring me to write in a rapid progression. Before I knew what happened, I found myself writing the last line of the card I made for her. I speedily read over the card, a sly grin growing on my face as I did so.

After I finished I started sewing the bear and found that it was more difficult than I thought. How come the simplest of task could turn out to be so complex? I pricked myself at least ten times as I attached the arm of the bear back to his body and put a new eye in his face. When I was done he looked horrible. Since I couldn't find a matching button for an eye, I had to use a red one in its place. The string on the arm of the bear was easily recognizable and I threw it aside, telling myself that I would just go buy her a new one. After wrapping my fingers in bandages I glanced over at the clock and what I saw caused me to do a double take.

_11:50_

11:50? 11:50? When did my little on break for an hour or so extend itself so late into the morning? I had another scheduled interview at 1:00and the office was across town and at least 45 minutes from where I needed to be for the interview. I quickly stood from my couch and raced to my closet that held gift bags. I usually kept them around for when I would send gifts to my sisters and I was glad that in an epiphanic moment I had thought ahead. I grabbed a bag, not really paying attention to the color or what was written on it and rushed over to the couch to put all the items I needed into it and rushed from my apartment.

I ran down the street stopping at the local flower store that was near my apartment. I ran in and hurriedly asked for roses and almost blew up on the lady when she told me they were all out.

"Um sir, although we are all out of roses now w-we have a dozen of pansy flowers" she shrank back from her post as she spoke to me, my demeanor apparently scaring her.

"What are pansy flowers ma'am?" I asked in a gentler exasperated tone, trying to quell the viciousness of my tenor.

She momentarily disappeared and when she came back she was holding a dozen of extravagantly pedaled flowers. There were five pedals on each, a pretty hue of purplish blue with a sharp color of yellow and white branching from the middle. I tried genially smiling at her as I said I would take the flowers and quickly paid for them and was on my way. As I ran down the street I looked at my watch and saw it was now 11:55.

I began yelling to the top of my lungs for a taxi before I had stopped running. One quickly stopped and I told the driver inside that I would heavily tip if he could get me to my desired destination before 12:15. He put his lead foot on the accelerator, pushing me into the back of the seat. I quickly strapped myself in as the man drove like a maniac, praying I'd be able to arrive at the building still breathing.

We were about five or six blocks away when we came upon horrendous traffic that could only be followed after an accident happened. We sat there for at least five minutes and as the clock ticked to 12:13, I grinded my teeth together and proceeded to exit the cab. I paid and tipped heavily as I promised before I bolted from the cab and raced down the street. I bumped into people but I really had no time to apologize, I had to make sure to give Inoue her gift now as I wouldn't have any time later in the day to do anything besides interviews and book signings.

As I rounded down the corner and the gaudy sign of the editorial office came into my view a smile grew on my face. When I made it to the front doors of the building I yanked on the handles and bolted inside. I asked the secretary sitting at the main desk if Inoue had returned from lunch and to my dismay she shook her head in a negative manner. I glanced down at my watch and saw it was only 12:18. I palmed my face as I didn't have time to wait and I needed to leave immediately if I wanted to have a semblance of being on time. I thought of leaving it at the main desk so she could get it when she returned but I quickly decided against it. I wouldn't mean anything if I couldn't give it to her myself.

I thanked the secretary before curtly turning on my heel and exiting as I made my way out onto the street. I started walking down the avenue until I saw her strutting down the street, lost in her own world while she looked at the buildings that crowded the area. She looked so pretty, walking down the avenue and stopping to stare at something that caught her attention. Her hair was draped around her shoulders and shimmered down her back as a lavender scarf coiled itself around her neck. She wrapped herself in a cozy looking jacket that fell to the middle of her thigh and black snow boots enveloped her feet. Her face looked so sweet and innocent as a pink coloring found itself comfortable in her cheeks; her rosy lips slightly parted themselves, letting the cool air from her mouth formulate in the sky. The beating of the muscle in my chest skyrocketed, the grip on my bag tightening, as the back of my neck scorched itself red with blood.

"Inoue!" I shouted to her and ran as her grey irises found and trailed me.

"Ah, Mr. Kurosaki what are you doing here? You're next scheduled appointment is sometime next week." She spoke softly as she looked at me, coercing all the color in my face to drain into the pit of my stomach. She smiled amiably at me, making me want to question the intangible lucid look she had on her face.

"I-I'm not here for that," I said breathlessly, "I came to see you." I blushed as I realized what I said. I saw her eyes grow wide with wonder as a pretty pink blush set into her cheeks. I raised my hands at her, wanting to clarify my statement. "I mean, I came to give you something."

"He-here, I-I got this for you…um…happy Valentine's Day Inoue."

She looked back and forth from me to the bag before she settled her gaze back toward me. I nudged it to her gently and she slowly took the bag and opened it, her eyes widening even more as she did so. The first thing she took out was the flowers and gasped when she fully saw them. She stared at them in wide awe, the look on her face making me antsy with anticipation.

"They're…they're so beautiful!"

My face reddened even more at her reaction as she delicately plucked and reveled in the velvety feeling of the flower against the tenderness of her fingertips.

She opened the bag and the next thing she took out caused my eyes to bulge in surprise. It was that bear that I had hacked at. I knew that I should have investigated that nagging feeling I felt when I was out running around trying to get things together. She had a sort of bemused look on her face and I swiftly stepped to her wanting to explain.

"Ah, that's not a part of your gift; I can take that off your hands." I tried to retrieve the bear but she took it out the reach of my arm and frowned as I desperately looked at her.

"No, you can't have it. It was in the bag you gave me, making it a gift; you can't take gifts back Mr. Kurosaki! Besides…it's cute." She looked down endearingly at the battered bear and held it close to her chest, like it was something she loved with all of her being. The last thing she took from the bag was the card and she put everything else in the bag before she read the card. I was anxious anticipating her to read the card, anxious to know the reaction to what I wrote. Her eyes quickly passed over the words and after a moment her eyes welled up with tears as she looked at me. A worried look came upon my face as I thought what it was in the card that could have caused this. Tears rolled down her face as she brought her hand up to her nose gently wiping at it. I held my hands up, waving them side to side, not knowing what to do and started jabbering.

"Ah, uh, Inoue, I'm sorry you don't like it, d-don't cry I-I-I…I'm sorry…I-"

"Please don't apologize Mr. Kurosaki" her voice trembled as she spoke and only made me want to run away, "Yes."

I looked at her, a perplexed and puzzled look making its way onto my face as I tried to decipher what it was she was answering 'yes' to.

"Yes, I'll be your valentine"

"S-sa-say what?"

She giggled at my reaction and repeated herself, her harmonic melody singing in my ears.

"Silly, I said I'll be your valentine"

Her face was tear stained, banks in her eyes, and the grey in her irises glistening even more. The sun shimmered on her hair, making the sandy color look beautiful in the waning light. My heart thudded erratically as I stared at her face, drinking in the complacent look of happiness upon her face.

"Um, th-tha-thank-thank you"

A hand made its way to the back of my head as we stood there, a smile on her lips, a tense curvature on mine.

"Well, I have to be going now. I have another interview to be at, wouldn't want to be late."

She fervently nodded at me as she held the bag close to her chest, her smile widening as she continued with her gaze. I bid her farewell and walked in the direction opposite of her, glancing back over my shoulder until I could see her no more.

To my surprise, she did the same.

A smile ensued.


	5. Chapter 4

A frustrated hand ran itself over my face as I observed the scene playing out in front of me.

I had just stopped by to see how my new novel was fairing in the war of the book stores. My visit would only have been a splinter of a second-I would have been in and out. But no, I was cursed with the worst luck, and I had to choose this time of the day to come to the Editorial Office. Another sigh dragged out of my throat as I witnessed a blonde headed man getting verbally abused by his wife.

From just catching a glance of the dark skinned woman, the thought would not cross your mind that she could belt out the kind of obscenities she was saying to the man. From just a first glance you wouldn't think that an inconsumable ire could adorn her face. From just a glance you wouldn't think that such a murderous glower could be found in her eyes. From just a glance, you wouldn't think that the woman could be so _scary._

"Urahara do you know how much money you cost us each month with your damn experiments! Don't you have a lab for that foolishness?" she towered over her husband's crouched form, her knuckles balled tight in rage.

"Eh heh sweetie, it's just that the lab lacks that homey feeling I get when I'm at the house! D-did I forget to mention that you look especially adorable when you're angry?" He gave her a cheesy grin as he held his hands out in an innocent manner, acting as if he had never caused any trouble.

Yoruichi on the other hand was a pressure cooking pot whose lid was ready to explode. She suppressed a screech as she angrily clenched and unclenched her fist. "Homey feeling!" her voice was ear piercing as she spoke, "homey feeling! You brought rats and released them in our house for an experiment just because you get a _homey feeling_? I-I can't I can't….ahhhh!"

She was nearly pulling her hair out now and I would have intervened had I not felt a tugging on my hand. I looked down and saw Inoue peering up at me, as if looking away from the confrontation between the two lovers would merit the anger of Yoruichi upon us. I had completely forgotten that she was here and felt a pang of sympathy as I realized that more times than naught, she was subjected to this dysfunction.

She nodded her head over to the exit, signaling for us to leave. Slowly, like secret agents out in the mountains creeping through enemy territory, we made our way to the exit without incident. We slipped outside and I felt a sigh of relief to not have to breathe in the thick tension that permeated throughout the room. I heard a sigh and turned to see Inoue with a relaxed expression sketched upon her face. She snapped her grey eyes open and smiled as if she had just come from a summer picnic. I crookedly smiled back as I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks.

My mind glittered over what happened on Valentine's Day as I looked at her and I couldn't control the erratic stride my heart took when I thought over it. Her never ending geniality and kindness in her soul continued to amaze me. If I had gotten any other girl a gift like I had gotten for her, they would have laughed, threw the gift back in my face, and told me how much of a loser I am. But not her, even if she did secretly harbor those feelings of haughty arrogance, she did well not to show it. Instead she was kind, and sometimes she made me temporarily forget about my insecurities when I would see that look in her eyes or that smile on her lips. Maybe, just maybe I could have a re…

"Oh Mr. Kurosaki what do you want to do?"

The harmony of her voice pierced my thoughts and I gladly accepted the interruption. She was smiling at me again, her hands clasped behind her back as a pink scarf hugged itself around her neck. She wore a long sleeve shirt, its color matching the scarf with blue jeans clasping themselves around her hips and legs. She wore another pair of cozy looking snow boots and I lopsidedly smiled at how cute she looked at the moment. Just as I opened my mouth to give her a reply her stomach blurted out a large growl answering her question for me. She tensed for a moment, her cheeks coloring in embarrassment as she brought her hands to her stomach.

"Eh heh eh, I guess I'm kind of hungry,"

She closed her eyes in an apologetic manner as her cheeks seemingly turned from pink to red at her statement. I walked over to the coat rack and grabbed her coat from the hook and handed it to her. The color still lingered on her cheeks, and I felt my heart dimly thud in my chest. Her eyes were still closed and I numbly stood there, looking at her smiling lips and wondering how they would feel. I swallowed the apple core that lodged itself in my throat and nearly jumped as I heard something crash into the wall. I looked back and I could swear I saw the lid pop from the pressure cooker, allowing the steam to flood. I quickly pressed her jacket toward her and motioned for her to go to the elevator before we would be caught in the torrent of suppressed steam that was Yoruichi.

"I don't see why they don't leave their problems at home, haven't they ever what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?"

We were aimlessly strolling down the avenue as we searched for a place to dine in at. The sun was high in the sky, providing a source of warmth from the chilly air that wafted around the city.

"Oh, I don't think it's that bad, it's just Mrs. Yoruichi overreacts when she first hears something, and Mr. Urahara is frightened to wait for her to get home to tell her what he's done so he comes up to the office to lessen the blow and get most of her anger out of the way first; at least that's what I think."

Her hands were clasped behind her back as she took over exaggerated steps with a smile playing on her face. I huffed as I looked away from her and whispered, "Tsh, they should just divorce, it would save both of them the headache."

"But it's obvious they love each other," I blinked as I looked at her, surprised that she had heard what I said, "You can tell by the way she looks at him, even when she's mad, she doesn't know what she'd do without him. Even when she's yelling about bills and damages you can tell that she wouldn't want it any other way. And after she hits him she always apologizes for it later when she thinks no one is around or listening… Mr. Urahara is the same way too."

I listened closely and meekly nodded my head as I took in the full understanding of her words. I guess what she was saying was true; but that being true didn't make them any less dysfunctional or insane. I nearly tripped over Inoue, seeing how without my knowledge she had planted her feet in front of me; her hands still behind her back, her smile still on her lips, and her eyes still glistening at me.

"Enough about Mr. Urahara and Mrs. Yoruichi, what about me and you?" My heart sped its pace to deafening heights as she said that and I felt heat on the back of my neck, "where are we gonna eat?"

I nervously chuckled at her and put my hand behind my head as she gazed up at me. I felt this slight weighing on my being that she was only concerned about the food but nevertheless I pushed that feeling aside. As I opened my mouth to answer I was again interrupted by her pulling on my hand.

"A-ah! I-I-Inoue?" I sputtered, taken aback by the strength she possessed, "What're y-you doing?"

"I've decided," she quickly let go of my hand and spun on her heel, almost causing me to once again collide with her, "I've decided that I'm going to take you out! It's the least I can do for you getting me a gift and buying my lunch all those times."

She dropped her voice an octave as she whispered the latter statement of her sentence. She bowed her head down and had a slight blush on her cheeks, or maybe they colored themselves that color from the cold that lightly frosted the province; I couldn't tell nor do I think I want to find out.

"You…you don't have to do th-" I was abruptly cut off as she lifted her head, a fierce determination in her eye, a frown at her lips.

"No!" she said sternly, leaving no room for question, "I said I would take you out and it's want I'm going to do! Besides…I-I want to!" she pointedly poked me in the chest as that smile sauntered back to her face, "Come on Mr. Kurosaki! I know just the place!" she about faced quick as lightening and started to skip down the boulevard. I blinked at her back and willed my feet to follow. An upward quirk made its way to my lips as I dug my hands into the warmth of my pockets. I allowed my subsequent thoughts to come back and I felt a swell of painful hope rise within the cavity of my chest.

Maybe I _could_ have a relationship with her; something more than just friendship.

We eventually ended up at a Hibachi Steakhouse. Half was of it was set up as a traditional styled Japanese restaurant, where mats where laid out for those who chose that style to dine in. The other sector was more modernized with bar stools set around a large hibachi grill/bar for those who enjoyed watching the flames that their food was cooked by. Inoue quickly sped by me and hopped up onto the barstool, telling me that it was where she wanted to be. I soon followed suit and smiled when I joined her at the bar. The chef jubilantly greeted and gave us menus.

Surprisingly I hadn't ever been to this restaurant in particular, seeing how I favored American cuisine as opposed with traditional Japanese. I glanced from my menu to look at Inoue and felt like I had been caught red handed when she locked her gaze with mine. Her smile grew as she inched a little closer, causing heat to scorch my neck.

"I can help you order if you want,"

Her eyes were bright in the dimness of the restaurant and I gave her a hesitant nod. "I-I would like that."

She gently scooted closer and showed me what she thought was good on the menu. I wasn't paying attention though, because I was close enough to smell her perfume and I was lost in the intoxication of it. She smelled so sugary sweet; like a mixture of jasmine, strawberry's and apples. Her scent wasn't artificial; it smelt fresh as if she was born with such an exhilarating smell. It took everything I had in me not to pull her back and bury my head into the deep curve of her neck to bring that aroma back to my nostrils.

I blankly stared at the menu, my head still hazy, and her smell still in my nose. I monotonously rambled off what I wanted after Inoue (which was what she ordered) and turned to meet her smiling face. She stared at me for a while, her eyes unwavering, her lips still beaming. I started to get antsy and nervous under her intense, yet soft eyes and broke the silence that was getting thick with tension.

"What?"

Her smile only widened as I spoke and she put her hands on her knees as she faced me, "Oh…I was just thinking you look really nice today."

I ducked my head away from her to hide the blood that seared my cheeks. I thought over what I was wearing that would make her say that. A long sleeve red shirt with blue jeans; it was nothing special, plus my shirt was covered by the coat I was wearing. Maybe it was because I bought a new pair of shoes; my old pair served me well but they now had holes in them. Still it was nothing special; so why did she complement me? I thought for a moment why but when I came up blank I looked back at her unwavering gaze and tried as best as I could to lock my gaze without blushing. After a few failed attempts I looked down at my feet as her words played over in my head.

"T-thanks"

"You're welcome!"

She chirped happily and made a small smile tug at my lips. I dared once again to meet her gaze but my resolve faltered and I abruptly looked away.

"Ah uh um…You look nice today too…Inoue"

_You always look nice_

"Thank you," she said in a quieter tone. I didn't look at her face but I could feel the sincerity put into those two words. I nodded my head and crookedly smiled at her as a light blush settled into my face.

As she clapped her hands together I swear that I could see the wheels cranking in her head.

"Oh Mr. Kurosaki there is a really big festival next week!"

I nodded to her as I put an elbow upon the bar and rested my head in my palm. I contently watched as her face contracted in concentration, then relaxed. I watched as she twiddled her fingers then placed her index fingers together. I contently watched as she met my gaze and her cheeks slightly turned a pinkish color.

"I was wondering, y-you know since I'm still kind of new in town could you ah…could you take me to the festival next weekend?"

In a splint of a second my heart ceased to beat. My arteries ceased to supply the blood to my veins to transport the liquid to my capillaries and the oxygen in my lungs grew stale in the passage of time. All in a splint of a second everything stopped and it was just me, her and her question hanging in suspended animation, waiting to be brought back down by gravity. The next second my heart beat out of control, my arteries forced blood through to the veins and capillaries and my lungs were supplied with fresh tasty air in short spurts. Had she really just asked me to take her out on a date, had she really?

I took my elbow from the bar and fiddled with my own hands for a bit before I answered.

"Uh…yea sure, what time do you want to go?"

I looked at her countenance and saw her face flood with relief. She smiled at me again, but it faltered as her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"Mr. Kurosaki? Is it okay with you if I brought someone along?"

I shrugged and her eyes met mine, "Yea, if you want. But would…would it be too much to ask you who? I mean I don't want to pry but it would be easier to pick places to go to…no just forget about it." I said as I shook my head, praying that I didn't mess things up with my prying.

"No no no it's okay I want you two to meet anyway!"

She took in a deep breath and a subsequent smile was unleashed on her face making her whole visage brighten. I felt blinded from that smile, as if the sun was on her lips. Her eyes twinkled and her cheeks turned a rosy color. I had never seen such a look upon her countenance and it mesmerized me how beautiful she could be.

"Well this person is someone very special to me!"

I nodded my head.

"The person I want you to meet is…"

I locked eyes with her as a clumsy smile crept onto my face and an antsy anticipation gathered within me to know who this person was. The dramatic pause was at its height and my eagerness grew as I watched her move her lips.

"My boyfriend."


	6. Chapter 5

"…_My Boyfriend."_

_Boyfriend,_

_My…boyfriend,_

_Boyfriend…boyfriend…_

…_.BOYFRIEND._

The words shouted in my ears, screaming in a quick beat of a song; never ending, never stopping. My chest hurt; it felt as if someone had taken my heart and wrenched it through a shredder; it felt as if my heart was leisurely asphyxiating, yet continuing in its slow irregular thud. I tried to tell myself that she didn't just say those words that it was just my pessimistic psyche trying to find a reason why things couldn't work out. I tried, I really did, but the truth was that she just did speak those two heart piercing words; she had a _boyfriend._

And it hurt.

_Told you it wouldn't work_

_Told you it was never meant to be _

Time stopped the second those words left her lips. It was just me in a vague darkness, sitting by myself on a barstool in a Hibachi Japanese restaurant; it was me and my scolding conscious.

_Why'd you even try?_

_Why do you always do this to yourself?_

_Why didn't you run the instant you saw her at the office?_

_Why did you go through all that trouble for her?_

_Why didn't you distance yourself from her the second you knew you had feelings for her?_

_Why are you such an __**idiot?**_

_Why?_

_Why?_

_WHY?_

I felt an indescribable feeling of nausea, coupled with a murky sadness. I tightly shut my eyes, as if that was a way to get from the battering of my thoughts. I didn't want to be here, I wanted to be far away, away to a place where I didn't get looked at as a freak, a place where people didn't judge me before they even spoke a word to me. I wanted to be in a place where beautiful girls didn't lead me on for three months and stampede on my hopes for something more; I wanted so desperately to just get away.

"Mr. Kurosaki are-are you ok?"

My eyes snapped open at her voice and I was staring at her petite face. She was worried; the creases in her forehead told me so and the slight way she leaned forward as she inspected my face. I quickly looked away from the concerned look in her irises and settled my glare to the floor. I still felt that nauseating sadness but now the emotion I felt bubbling to the surface was one of anger. Couldn't she of told me any earlier? Oh no! That surely would have ruined her fun! She was probably reporting back to her damn friends of every stupid thing I did, telling them how much of a damn fool I am, telling them how I had no chance in _hell _of ever being with her.

"…Mr. Kurosaki?"

_You want to know if I'm ok? Like hell you really care._

"Fine, I'm perfectly fine Inoue"

My tone was clipped and I felt my eyebrows furrow and my scowl deepen. I was far from what she would deem 'fine' but no sense in telling her right? She would just laugh at me later.

"I'll meet your boyfriend if it's really what you want me to do,"

_You're __**stupid**__ boyfriend._

My tone held no malice and my eyes were blank of the emotion the fizzed beneath the surface. I felt like leaving her there all alone to reciprocate the feeling of embarrassment, of hurt, but something welded me to that seat, something deep inside me told me to stay, even if it was angering me every second that I did.

"Oh thank you Mr. Kurosaki! You don't know how much this means to me!"

_You don't know how much I feel like leaving._

My fist clenched at her boisterous tone and only fueled the anger I felt toward her. She was just using me, using in the simplest ways so that she and her _boyfriend_ could find their way around the damn festival.

"Oi! Here's your food!"

The waitress set the large portions of food in front of us and Inoue chirped happily and clapped her hands as she saw the steaming plates. The aroma from the cuisine was in all actuality enticing. A large portion of grilled meat prettied itself on my plate next to an equally large portion of shrimp fried rice. A small bowl of soy sauce sat besides the plate and would have been enough to make anyone's mouth water; but not me. Instead I felt like throwing the food across the room and smashing the plate into the wall; my anger had completely drained my appetite.

"Itadakimasu Mr. Kurosaki!"

"…Itadakimasu Inoue"

My tone was quiet and low as I stared down at the food as if it was something that a dog wouldn't eat. I grudgingly stuffed the food in my mouth, as the woman sitting next to me ate with great vigor and excitement.

We walked down the street in eerie silence, not even speaking to tell each other where our next destination would be. I never looked over at her face, only keeping my gaze linear. I don't think I could look at her without screaming in her face. I still had my morals and knew that it would be wrong to blatantly disrespect and embarrass her in the middle of the street.

When she stepped in front of me, I wasn't surprised but rather mildly annoyed. I felt my muscles tense, my jaw lock, and my hands clench at my sides. I stared down at her face, glancing over the way her eyebrows slightly furrowed themselves and the way her lips were pulled down. Her eyes were murky, some unknown emotion lurking just behind the surface of those orbs. Her hands lay at her hips and her stance was ever so slightly bending forward.

We stayed there for long minutes, just staring at each other and not offering the first word to start a conversation. It was a battle of will to see who could hold out the longest, to test who would snap under the biting tension.

She was the first to break.

"Mr. Kurosaki is something wrong?"

My visage held no emotion but behind the surface of my veil, I felt the anger I was keeping at bay beat to shore in rapid succession. My teeth grinded and my muscles contracted even more from repressed anger. I didn't try to offer her a smile or even a little gesture that would have appeased her.

"No,"

My tone was again short, and I side stepped her and continued my decent down the avenue.

"Mr. Kurosaki?"

I kept walking, shoving my hands in my pockets as I did so.

"Mr. Kurosaki?"

I heard light footsteps behind me that only propelled me forward.

"Mr. Kurosaki!"

"What!"

I spun hard on my heel and almost collided with her. My voice was hard and she flinched under the intensity of it. I felt the façade crack slightly when I saw her back away from me. Guilt immediately made its way to the shore and pounded at the rocks with the force of a stormy ocean; my jaw slacked, my hands unclenched, my posture slumped.

"What?"

I said it softly this time, almost in an apologetic whisper. Her eyebrows were heavily frowned in concentration and bewilderment only making the feeling of remorse flood the shoreline.

"Mr. Kurosaki…are…are you angry with me?"

I looked away from her unnerving gaze and lackadaisically slide my hands back into my pockets.

"…No…why would I be angry?"

I looked into the window of a television store and ironically they were showing a soap opera in which the lovers were in a romantic situation. The man was caressing the woman's face in a loving manner, whispering sweet nothings into the hollow of her ear. He tipped her chin up, she, gazing lovingly into his eyes when he brought her face forward…

"Because you're acting like you're angry with me! If I did something to make you hate me can you please tell me what it is!"

Her voice snapped me back from the scene I was viewing on the television. I looked at her to see her with worry and an overpowering sense of lucid confusion bubbling in her eyes. Her cheeks were puffed and pink, making her face glow in a saddening sort of way.

"Are you mad because I made you to leave the office? Are you mad because I didn't let you choose the place to eat? Are you made because you have to take me to the festival? Or are you made because I-"

"Come on Inoue, we should be getting back to the office, Yoruichi is probably wondering where you went by now."

I cut her off and tried to offer a smile but all my lips managed were a twitch. She bowed her head and nodded in disagreeing assent. The rest of the walk back to the gawky editorial office was in an agonizingly loud silence. My mind flittered over the soap opera I viewed on the display televisions. It was so cheesy, so stupid, and so fantastical; the writers of the show obviously had yet to be disillusioned to the reality of life. But even though it was stupid and so unrealistic, one decapitating thought coursed through my mind.

_I'm angry at her, livid in fact. I want nothing to do with her; I want to get as far away from her as possible._

_So then why, why do I want to kiss her? _

"Here Mr. Kurosaki,"

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't realize that we were already in front of the building and she was pressing slip of paper into my hand. I also didn't notice the morose tone her voice held until she turned to walk away. Instinctively my hand shot out and grabbed her wrist stopping her departure. The side of her bangs hid her expression and I swallowed the apple in my throat and the tint on my cheeks.

"W-what's this?"

She visibly winced at my voice as she shuffled her feet and switched her weight back and forth. I could feel the hesitation pouring off her in waves as if she was going to tell a secret to the world.

"It's my phone number, just in case you still want to take us to the festival, you'll have to know what time to meet us…um…Mr. Kurosaki I have to get back to work and I can't when you're holding onto me."

I immediately let go as a heated blush made its way to my face.

"S-sorry."

I was glad for the chipping weather for it cooled down my cheeks and tucked my anger into the back of my mind. As I saw her hurriedly hurry into the doors of the office I took out the paper and took note of the pretty way her number was scribbled on the scrap.

I felt the rebellion of my emotions suddenly taking mutiny in my body. I felt the surge of pain ripple through my chest, the prickling needles in my heart, the ropes at my lungs. But more than that I felt the tense of my muscles from reticent rage, from the fury I kept beneath the surface. The need to rip something apart itched at my hands, tingled at my feet, throbbed at my head. I needed a release and I needed one fast. I quickly folded the paper back and stuffed it into my pocket. Before I was to do anything I desperately needed to evaporate some steam before someone would be on the receiving end of my unrestricted ire.

* * *

_This person I want you to meet is very special to me!_

A clap of the hands, a sigh from the lips

_Thwack_

_This person…_

A beaming smile, a simple expression

_Thwack_

_Thwack_

_This person is…_

A beat of a heart, the sting of a bee, two words, two little words

_Thwack_

_Thwack _

_Thwack_

Two words, two simple words

_My Boyfriend…_

_Thwack_

_Thwack_

_BOOM_

The punching bag was swinging in large wide swoops as I released all of my anger. I panted heavily as I straightened, taking note but quickly dismissing the inquisitive look of my training partner. I briskly walked over to the locker room giving a look to the one or two people in the gym who dared to whisper about my show of force. I felt a bit at ease now that I had released some of the pent up rage that boiled inside me, and I gladly leaned my head into the locker doors, their temperature cooling me down.

I heard heavy footsteps and wasn't surprised when I saw my training partner enter the room with his arms folded, and his eyes hidden by dark mangled hair. I cut him a look and flopped down on the bench as he left the door and leaned on the locker doors opposite me.

"Care to tell me what that was all about now that you've calmed down?"

I scoffed at him as I stared heavenward at the ceiling. I saw one image cloud my vision. It was a pretty woman, with sandy brown hair and warm eyes, smiling, laughing, and grinning at me in a polite and curious way. I felt the scowl at my lips and the furrow of my brows deepen as I saw her, that face making my blood hot with rage.

"Nope, nothing to talk about here,"

Even as angry as I was, I could tell that my tone was lined with vicious venom, poisonous enough to kill a copperhead. I stood up to retrieve my bag but a strong bronze arm grabbed mine, keeping me welded to the place where I stood.

"Ichigo, tell me what's wrong before you do something stupid,"

I glared at my training partner who also happened to be my best friend. He was the same age as me, but towered a good seven inches over my six foot frame. His unruly brunette hair covered his gaze, but I knew his emerald eyes were unnerving; always gazing, always piercing, and always unnerving. His grip was tight on my biceps, and I knew I wasn't going anywhere without telling him what happened. My shoulders slacked, my butt bumped with the stiff wooden seat and my gaze dropped to the floor as I recalled the events…

I told him everything. What I thought of her, how I met her, about Valentine's Day, about the lunches we shared, and finally about the bombshell she dropped on me today. By the time I was finished I was standing, clenching and unclenching my hands as I reacquainted myself with the anger I managed to subdue. We stood there for long minutes, me waiting for what he would say, he, contemplating what to speak.

"You say this girl is beautiful, didn't you expect that she would have a boyfriend?"

I shifted angry feet and answered.

"Yea at first but then she never acted like it. She never even hinted at it! She acted like she was interested, like she actually liked me, but I guess in some sort of sick sadistic way she was just acting that way to see me embarrass myself…she's…she's just like the rest…"

He knew about my past encounters and I expected him to fully take my side in the matter.

"Well, seeming how you explained her to me I can't help but be skeptical about how she could be like the rest. Didn't you just say that she wasn't?"

I grinded my teeth, my words coming out before I could even contemplate what I was going to say.

"Yea I said that before I knew that she was just a tramp who just wanted to use me to guide her around the damn town! Chad you're my best friend aren't you supposed to take my side on this?"

I bit my tongue as soon as those words left my mouth, guilt tearing at my strength and breaking me down. The muscles that I unknowingly tensed once again slacked as my butt collided with the wooden bench. Something akin to 'I didn't mean any of that' left my lips soon after and I frustratingly began to rub my temples. I didn't meant it, I really didn't. My anger had consumed me and the first words that flew into my head bubbled from my mouth. I knew that she was no tramp and that made the remorse wash over my body in quick succession.

"Why are you so angry Ichigo? Why when it was just a crush?"

"Because!"

I yelled as I rubbed my temples, slowly taking my time to answer his question cognitively, to not let my anger takeover.

"Because…she led me on; she would look at me like I was something special and made me feel like I had a chance with her when I really didn't. Then she wants me to take her and her **boyfriend** to the festival? That only made me feel worse; it made me feel like she was leading me on just to use me for what she wanted, like I was some type of dog that she would just use and then throw back in its cage. It…it's not so much that I had a crush on her, it's that she made me feel like I was scrap that she could just wipe her ass with then throw away…it's the way she made me feel and I just can't push that aside so easily!"

"Ichigo…" he began, slowly taking his time with his words, "Did you ever see how she would look at other people?"

I looked up to his face, a bemused look scrawled against my own, "Huh? What the hell do you mean by that?"

"I mean did you ever see her look at other people the way she would look at you? Did you ever think that maybe she looks at everyone like that? You don't have to answer because I know you didn't. It's a human trait to think that the person you're crushing on says things that only your ears were meant to hear, looks at you only in a way that your eyes were meant to see. It's a human trait to think that everything the aforementioned crush does is special when it comes to you! Didn't you say yourself that when she spoke about her boyfriend a look you've never seen appeared on her face? Are you trying to tell me that when she was talking about her boyfriend that she was thinking about you? Huh, Ichigo?" His voice was hard and spared no man's emotions.

I was shocked at his words and felt my heart dim in a painful way. I tightly shut my eyes and scrutinized every moment that I spent with her up to this point. She always had that look in her eyes, that curvature on her lips, that tint on her cheeks. My heart painfully beat again as I realized she really didn't treat me any different from a stranger she met on the street. His words were blunt but so frankly true.

"Ichigo…" his voice was softer this time, "are you so willingly to give up a friendship that easily over a misunderstanding? Didn't you say you enjoyed her company? Are you willing to give that up because you don't have a chance to change you relationship from friendship?"

I opened my eyes and stared at the floor. The hurt was still there, but the anger had completely vaporized from my heart.

"No" I spoke, my voice strangely weak, "I still want her as a friend…but how, how am I supposed to just suddenly get used to her having a boyfriend when I still have these feelings for her?"

It was the question of the day, of the month, in fact of the year. The question people all over the world had asked previous to me; one simple question.

How?

"You just have to adjust. You have to adjust and get used to it. I know you've had to shoulder tougher things besides this. Besides your feelings will fade for her after a while, it just takes time. I promise Ichigo there is a girl out there patiently waiting for you, you just have to search a little to find her."

_But what if my feelings don't subside?_

_What if that girl is within my grasp right now?_

_What if Inoue is that girl for me?_

Those inquiries screamed in my conscious but I didn't have the courage to ask. I didn't have the strength right now to hear the answers that waited. At this moment I couldn't bear it.

He came over and patted me on the back in a reassuring way, as if he heard the bellowing of my mind. I offered a weary smile and he offered a ride home. I promptly agreed and collected the gym bag that I had brought in with me. I wasn't exactly looking forward to returning home, because when I was there I would have to call somebody and make the arrangement I was dreading to do.

* * *

By the time I arrived home I could smell the sweaty salt and mustiness radiating off my body. I upturned my nose and quickly trotted to the shower, stripping myself of the filth ridden clothes along the way. My muscles greedily sucked in the warmth of the water and the tension that had been keeping my shoulders tight since the morning gradually slacked off. I allowed the water to run rampant through my hair and down my body, contently sucking in the warm mist as it did so.

My thoughts wandered their way back to Inoue and what I had to do. It wasn't going to be easy but if I wanted to keep my friendship with her I was going to have to meet her boyfriend and try to be bearable. I harshly shut off the water as I thought about her boyfriend, my anger making a rebellious spark to come back.

I soon discovered that being a renowned writer did have its perks besides being bombarded by question-hungry television interviewers. I lived in one of the nicest apartment buildings of Itabashi, in a penthouse that overlooked the moderate province. I stepped barefooted out on the balcony, clad in only a black tank top and grey sweatpants. The concrete was cold, the air carrying a chill but I didn't mind and my hair blew in the cold zephyr that gusted across the city.

The sun was setting and I felt calm and at ease as I allowed myself to be taken in the beauty of it. It was such a magnificent site that was usually noticed yet unnoticed to the personalities that walked on the streets and sat in their homes. Today the clouds were smeared like jam as the colors frolicked and played with each other. The red, which was closest to the sun spread up and out and turned into shy pink, then into an opaque purple against the edges of the horizon. The hue that intermingled with the crimson shade was a fiery color of orange, which grappled with the luminescent yellow in the sky.

Slowly, as I looked to the other side of the blue, the vibrant colors morphed into more cozy tones. The blue of the firmament was still visible behind the colorful clouds but as it approached the other side of the horizon it methodically turned into a more milky lavender bluish purple color. They gently conversed with each other as the more brazen hues swirled and pulled at each other, bathing the sky in an array of beauty. They tugged and romped until one by one they were gently revolved away with the sun.

As the sun dipped behind the horizon a rustic red emerged where the cherry and orange once lived. The shy pink at the very edges, said its goodbye and left a pale azure and light lavender to take its place. The sky blue slowly darkened itself, giving way to a beautiful color of deep violent as the brighter colors said their final farewells and left, leaving the shining white grey to make its presence known against the shadows of the heavens.

I made my way back inside and not too eagerly sat besides the phone. My heart beat loudly in my chest as I looked at it and it was when I picked up the device I realized I did not have her number. I went over to the coat rack and fished the paper from my pocket and nervously walked back to the phone. I stared at it, like I was one of the aristocrats staring at the guillotine, or an innocent bystander staring down the barrel of a gun.

I slowly placed my sweaty hand on the sleek black object and held it to my ear. I heard the dial tone and I lethargically dialed the number. I heard the drawled out _ring, ring, _of the device and I heard someone on the receiving end pick up. I heard that soft aria play in my ears and my heart sped its pace up even more.

"Moshi, Moshi, this is Inoue Orihime!"

I heavily swallowed and I tried to speak but I realized then that my mouth was dry, and my tongue was stuck to my palate, glued like paste.

"Hello?"

I opened my mouth and found the will to force my voice to come forth.

"I-Inoue?"

Unfortunately I was only able to say her name. I heard her shift over the line and I swallowed the excess salvia that made itself present in my mouth.

"Mr. Kurosaki?"

Somehow from her saying my name I was immensely relieved. I conceived that maybe she was thinking about whether to hang up in my face or not and hearing her voice at least gave me the chance to speak to her again.

"Sorry!"

I once again heard her shift on her line.

"For what Mr. Kurosaki?"

For everything; for calling you a tramp, for getting angry because I don't have a chance with you, for regretting that I got you a gift, for regretting that I took you out to lunch, for making you feel like you did something wrong, for acting like such an ass! That's what I wanted to tell her but those words were stuck in my throat and wouldn't dislodge themselves.

"For how I acted earlier…I had a really bad headache from the food and I took it out on you…I'm really sorry for that."

I lied; a bad lie at that. But I couldn't tell her the real reason I acted like that with her. I didn't want to burden her with my maniacal feelings or expose myself to her. I was a coward and I lied.

"…"

Silence greeted me on the line and a little panic started within my frame. What if she didn't forgive me, what if she never even wanted to talk to me again? Would this be the last time that I could actually have a conversation with her?

"…I-I'll be happy to escort you and your boyfriend around the festival, if you want. You two can ask me to take you to any event that you wanna see. Oh! It doesn't matter to me I-I…"

I knew that I was rambling, but it was a nervous anxious ramble. I just didn't want her to hang up and I thought that if I kept my mouth moving, her kindness wouldn't allow her to slam the phone on the receiver. I heard an audible sigh and a small giggle on the phone as my mind halted. A sloppy smile made its way to my face because I knew that somehow in the deep geniality of her heart she silently forgave me.

"I'll only be happy if you can have someone special to you come along! I don't want you feeling like a third wheel or anything."

"I don't have anyone like that in my life…" I shuffled as I quietly made my statement.

"Then I can find someone for you! It can be a blind date!"

"No!"

I shouted it quickly despite the happy tone I heard from her as she uttered those words.

"No, no, no, that won't be necessary for you to do Inoue! I-I'm sure that I can come up with someone so that you won't have to go through that trouble!"

I heard her disappointed giggle on the other side and my heart dampened a little.

"I take it Mr. Kurosaki doesn't like blind dates?" another giggle.

I slightly chuckled this time, "Eh, you could say that."

"Well you can take anyone you want Mr. Kurosaki! But if you show up alone I refuse to let you go anywhere without me finding somebody for you!"

I heard her giggle again and this time I let out my own nervous chortle. I told her it definitely would not be necessary and we set up a place and time to meet. As we exchanged goodbyes and hung up the phone I felt at ease but also burdened now that I had to find a date. The women I knew in my life were sparse and it didn't help that I had an estranged relationship with most of them. It was Friday and the festival was next weekend. That gave me a whole week to plan and prepare.

But for tonight I decided I would pop open a cold can of beer and watch television until I fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 6

"So who's this girl you're so into to? Someone I know? Someone I don't? And where the hell are they at?"

We were near the entrance to the premier festival of the year. They had gone all out sprucing up the grounds for the affair. Colorful ribbons and papers decorated the gates surrounding foundation, with kiosk and little bars lined up on one side near the gate and continuing on down the other. People here were crazy about festivities and such and really went all out. For entertainment, besides people drinking themselves into oblivion, there were rides in the far distance. I saw a Ferris wheel that was bunched in by various rides. In even the brightness of the afternoon I could see the lights from one that looked like a mutant spaceships and could hear the screams of another that looked like an oversized pendulum, swinging people high in the air with its unrestrained velocity.

"Don't worry about who she is. No. Yes. And how the hell am I supposed to know where they are?"

We had been standing for not even five minutes and she had already begun to get impatient. Every minute she fired a different question at me and when I would tell her the same thing she would cross and uncross her arms as if that would magically make them appear.

"Humph, some kind of date you are…"

I shot a glare at my date as she crossed her arms beneath her chest and stuck out her lip. My hands clenched and unclenched with suppressed rage as I glowered at her.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I growled out my words through grinded teeth as I saw her puff out air and impassively turn her head away.

"I mean, you could just tell me who the hell this woman is. I come to your aid without an explanation and this is the thanks I get? I thought we were buddies Ichigo."

"Without an explanation you say?" I nearly yelled at she stared me in the eyes and nodded. "I had to tell you everything that happened and had to bait you to get here! And now you say that you didn't have an explanation? What a load of crap!" I was towering over her now, my glare locked with her glower, neither of us wavering.

"But you never told me who she or who her boyfriend are! What good is information with no names?"

I grinded my teeth, backed away, and let out an exasperated sigh. There was no use in arguing with her, it would just upset me and sooner or later she would know Inoue face to face. I brought my thumb and forefinger to the bridge of my nose and aggressively rubbed it, as if it could ebb away my anger and exasperation too.

"Just…wait a little longer, they'll be here shortly and you can meet who the mystery woman and her boyfriend are, okay?"

She glowered at me, the blue of her eyes darkening to such a color that it could be mistaken for a murky black. She then let out a puff of air and turned the other way as she angrily assented to shut up for the time being. I let out another annoyed sigh as I stuck my hands in my pockets and looked at the sky. It was nice today; it didn't have all the vivid and wild colors that usually fought for space during the sunset, but more mellow agreeable hues filled the firmament.

There were pale blues and opaque whites and soft reds that gently smeared themselves against the vast azure above. The clouds were a huge conglomerate of vivid white against the colors and blue of the sky. I saw an armadillo waddling across that gently collided with someone who was diving into a sea of puffy ivory billows. I lost myself in the placidness of it and didn't realize how long I was looking at the sky until the female beside me yanked my hand from my pocket and nearly pulled me to the ground. I staggered a bit but regained my composure only to see the brunette besides me still glowering at me with a displeased look on her face.

I felt my eyebrows furrow and my anger return as I met her glare once again.

"What…is it this time?" My teeth were clenched and started to ache from all of the pressure being applied to them. The young woman besides me looked at her watch and wildly flailed her arms in the air as she started to yell at me once again.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it's that we've been standing here for about fifteen minutes and they still haven't shown up! Ichigo I have better things that I could have done besides stand out here and wait for your _girlfriend_ to show up! This is just a complete and total waste of my time! Ichigo you promised…"

After a few minutes of her rambling I began to ignore and completely tune out the female yelling at me. I wasn't as impatient as she, but I was beginning to wonder where Inoue and her boyfriend were hiding. I knew that at least Inoue was new to the city and it would be typical for her to get lost. But didn't she have her _boyfriend_ with her? This was starting to get a bit ridiculous; it shouldn't take this long to get the fair grounds, I mean there were bright lights everywhere designating where it was.

"Ichigo! Ichigo are you even listening to me! Hey Ichigo!"

"…Yea yea I'm listening."

I waved her off with my hand as another onslaught of insults and jabbering hammered at my ears. I turned my head away from her, slide my hands in my pockets and began to rock back and forth on my heels as I waited for Inoue. It must have been a good ten minutes before I saw flailing arms and skipping legs out of my peripheral. My date had long since stopped yelling and kept her displeasures to mumbles under her breath. When I turned my head I could only see the brightness of her hair and a colored silhouette of her body but I knew it was her; how could I not when she was the only one known to act so exuberant upon seeing someone? I also saw someone walking behind her that was much taller than her lithe frame and I immediately knew who _it_ was.

Her boyfriend.

"They're here."

I looked over at my date as she peered around to find her supposed mystery woman and her enigmatic boyfriend. When she saw Inoue waving at us, her eyes swelled to the size of dinner plates at a country buffet. She turned to me with an exaggerated look of surprise and I quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Wow, she's really pretty,"

"What you thought she was ugly?"

"Hmmm, well I just thought you'd go for someone who's, you know, more in your league,"

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Well you know, a girl that looks like she has her ass on her face…hey she's coming this way, we're going to plan A!"

"Huh? What the hell is plan-?"

I didn't get time to finish my thought because she roughly grabbed my hand and held it with that death grip of hers. I looked at her with a bewildered and embarrassed look on my face as I tried to wring my hand free of hers. She wouldn't let go and only held on tighter; with all the pressure she was applying to my hand I thought it would break any minute.

"What the hell are you doing?" I harshly yet silently screamed.

"We have to make it seem like were a couple, so you won't look like such a loser! Look she's almost here! Just follow my lead you idiot! And stop trying to pull your hand out of mine hold it the right way you Neanderthal and slap a smile on your face!

I glared at her a moment longer only to reluctantly lace my fingers with hers and tried to smile as big and wide as I could; my lips only twitched and I subsequently felt a wave of defeat pass through my frame. I turned to see Inoue and her boyfriend walk up to us and my heart doubled the amount of blood that pumped through my body. She was looking at me with that luminescent smile and that luster in her eye. She wore a collared blouse that had daises imprinted all over and had a long flowing beige skirt that stopped at her calves with penny loafer shoes that snuggled her feet. I tried to smile at her but my lips just twisted into a gnarled contraction.

"Hello Mr. Kurosaki! And…and…um, Ms. Kurosaki? Sorry were so late we came into the wrong entrance and in five minutes we didn't know where we were going!"

I was going to reply to Inoue but my date pulled me back with such an intensity that I thought it was a man's hand I was holding and she truly began with the façade that she had planned all along.

"Oh no no, my name is Arisawa, Tatsuki Arisawa, Ichigo's girlfriend! There's no need for all the formality! You can just call me Tatsuki! And don't worry about getting lost and being late, we didn't even notice until you said something about it!

I looked at her as if she just told the whole world that I was her…well her boyfriend. It was bad enough that she had coerced me into holding her godforsaken hand and now she was claiming to be my girlfriend? Although it was amusing that it seemed she was trying to make Inoue feel as if she had lost something good it nevertheless rubbed me the wrong way. And now she was resorting to just flat out lying? She nearly drove me insane with her constant jabbering about people being late and leaving! Just as I was about to say something to contradict what she said, Tatsuki glanced at me with that menacing look that told me to keep my mouth shut; the way she was grappling my hand was just what she needed to make me keep my mouth sealed.

"Ichigo has told me so much about you but I'm afraid that I don't know yours or your handsome boyfriend's name!

"Oh my name is Inoue Orihime and this fellow," she sidestepped and had her hands outstretched toward the man behind her, "is my wonderful boyfriend Ishida, Uryuu!"

This character, _Ishida Uryuu, _had a part in the middle of his black hair that went to the brink of his eyelashes then flipped out to the sides. He had steel blue eyes set behind a pair of flimsy looking glasses and a smirk at his lips. He wore a collared shirt with a sweater over it and dark denim pants. Something about his whole demeanor rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it was his stupid name or that supercilious smirk perched at his lips or maybe even the nice pair of shoes that he wore but something about him just didn't fit right with me. I felt that even by standing there he was somehow undermining me, somehow he thought I was just a stupid brute; I don't know what it was, but whatever it was about him pissed me off to no end.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Kurosaki, Orihime has told me so much about you, I'm glad that I can meet the famous Kurosaki Ichigo in person."

He held his hand out to for me to shake. I wasn't about to shake his hand but I had to remind myself that I wasn't here to be a pain, but to actually try to be cordial. I reluctantly met my free hand with his and immediately a contest ensued. It was like we were testing who could give the firmer handshake. He would squeeze my hand a little and I would squeeze his hand a little harder and in turn he would do the same. I knew it was stupid but that immature part of me surfaced and I felt like I was in junior high again, in an arm wrestling contest with one of the boys in my class. He was the first to drop his hand from mine, which in some type of warped way made me feel as if I had won, and shortly thereafter everyone made themselves acquainted with everyone else.

"So what are we going to do first?"

"Well since this festival is sort of like the mini fair how about we go on a ride first?"

"Oh we should! Uryuu-kun and I saw a neat looking one when we first came! It looked like a pendulum! I bet that one would be pretty fun!"

"Then let's go Inoue! I think we are going to have a pretty fun time!"

"Oh Tatsuki-chan you can call me Orihime since I can call you by your first name! And I feel the exactly the same!"

It was at this point that there words started to jumble and bunch together because they were like…well they were like to girls that were overexcited about going on a ride. After they had gallivanted a few meters ahead, they turned and shouted for me and _him_ to follow them. I scratched my head, took a deep breath, stuck my hands in my pockets and lethargically began to walk. I was beginning to wonder why in the world I had first agreed to come on this double date conglomeration.

Funny because I couldn't remember a single reason why.

I took to looking at the sky as we toddled toward our location. The clouds were always moving, always morphing and this time they moved into a dolphin slapping a disfigured bear. I chuckled to myself and looked across to see what looked like an ant climbing up a lions tooth. I was so oblivious to the rest of the world that it was a few minutes before I heard what the man beside me said. I turned my head to him, to see his eyes cut at me and an inquiry in them.

"What?"

"I said Orihime is a nice isn't she?"

He pushed his glasses up, an underlying question embedded beneath his initial query. My eyes darkened and I scratched my head as I contemplated my answer.

"Yea, you could say that,"

"And pretty too,"

"…Yea…"

"And outgoing…

"…yea…"

"…and caring…"

"…"

"And giving, kind and-"

"Ok just what are you getting at _Mr. Ishida_?"

I had stepped in front of him, effectively ceasing our walk. I felt my hands clench at my sides and my demeanor change. He was slightly leaning back with his hands in his pockets. His eyes were low and patronizing behind those glasses that I wanted to shatter about now. I don't know what it was about him that could piss me off when he was just saying nice things about Inoue. It was like he was contemptuously antagonizing me with each word he was saying, like each one of the characteristics had a hidden meaning behind them.

"Oh _Mr. Kurosaki_ don't be so insolent. You didn't even let me finish my statement." I felt my veins begin to protrude. "Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, Orihime is outgoing, caring, giving, kind, and **way out of you league**."

For a second I thought that it was my own psyche saying that, that I was just imagining this whole encounter. But I realized that this was reality and this, this…guy had really just said that.

"What?"

I felt the muscles in my jaw tighten and my teeth grind in suppressed hostility. I felt that familiar itching at my hands, that tingle at my feet and that all too familiar rise of my blood pressure. I was already weary of him, but now he was just blatantly insulting me? I didn't know how much longer my temper would allow him to talk to me without there being any repercussions.

"Don't play stupid with me, Kurosaki. I know all about your childish crush on Orihime, so you can cut the crap."

"What makes you think I like her, didn't you hear I already have a girlfriend!" I didn't realize my voice was so venomous until I heard it ring back in my ears. Was I really getting this hostile? And over what? Just because he said I liked Inoue? I had to think for a second to cool myself down and keep my anger in check.

But then he snorted in my face and then retorted.

"Do you take me for a fool? I know that tomboy you call a girlfriend isn't your girl, I don't even see how you got her here in the first place. What, did you pay her? What, are you going to find her a girlfriend for her pretending to act as yours? Don't make me laugh!"

Tatsuki got on my nerves most of the time and usually we would throw insults back and forth but she was still one of my only good friends that was a woman; I wouldn't let him get away with that. He didn't even know her and he was already chunking insults at her; no way would I let that pass.

"Don't…don't you ever say anything about Tatsuki again!"

I was inches away from his face, everything in me yelling at me to beat him to a pulp for insulting her. I could keep my cool for a while if he was only insulting me but now he wanted to throw Tatsuki into the mix? It felt as if my blood was boiling in my veins and I had to dig my fingernails into my hands to keep myself from hitting him.

"Don't get mad at me because you're using her as a cover up. Do you really think I don't know? Orihime tells me everything! She told me when she met you, she **showed** me the pathetic thing you call a gift, told me about taking you to the festival; hell she even told me every time you guys went out to lunch! I've known about _Mr. Kurosaki_ long before you've known about me! Did you think someone that beautiful would actually go for someone like you, tell me, did you really think that?"

I opened my mouth to tell him wrong that I just wanted her as a friend but he interjected before one syllable even left my mouth.

"Ha, she's told me how much of a loser you are, told me how you acted like a fifth grader who had a crush on the prettiest girl in school. She's told me how you would never have a chance in hell with her! Orihime is a very amiable person; she always smiles, always laughs, and is always nice to people like you. Don't you understand that the only reason she spends time with you is because she feels sorry for you? I bet that thought never even crossed your mind."

His words had a biting venom that stung deep in my pride. His words bled into my head, reeling and twisting around over and over. Was it true? Did she really say those things about me? Does she really think that way about me; that I'm just a pathetic loser that she feels sympathy for? He is her boyfriend it's plausible to tell your significant other everything; but did those exact words come from her mouth? I heard two familiar female voices in back of me calling to why we had stopped. I felt my anger dampen a bit that gave breed to an overpowering sense of uncertainty and disdain. The man, Ishida, side stepped me and gently patted on my shoulder as he spoke.

"Don't ever forget Kurosaki, you've never had a chance with her; never had, never will. She's my girlfriend, not yours; no matter how much you pray or how much you wish, she'll never be yours."

He walked away and left me standing there to wallow in my bubbling emotions and thoughts. I heard Tatsuki calling me and I turned to see her running back my way; she and Inoue must have walked a fair amount ahead before they realized that we were no longer following them.

"Come on you dope watta doing just standing here! Don't ya wanna get to the ride before a lot of people start coming? I know how you hate to wait."

I kept my eyes low and heard speckles of what she said. I wasn't concerned though, because the only thoughts that ran through my head were Ishida's words and past encounters with his girlfriend. I vaguely felt a soft hand come to my forehead and lift my hair as something else numbly pounded at the side of my head.

"Hey Ichigo! You okay? Hey Ichigo!"

I looked up to see wide concerned eyes staring at me. I heard his words chunked at me once again about Tatsuki and felt a surge of rage through my frame. But I must've looked sick or something because she had a worried expression scrawled on her face, the kind that a mother gets when her child has the flu or some other illness coursing through their capillaries.

"Huh, wh-what?"

"Hey you okay right? You face is kinda warm and red looking."

"Y-yea, I'm fine, really I am."

She dropped her hand and stopped hitting my head as the look on her face gently ebbed itself away. Her eyebrows were still furrowed and I tried smiling to tell her that I was okay; she chuckled.

"Always with that half-assed smile; well come on we gotta keep this charade up for the rest of the day, so the quicker we get there the quicker we don't have to hold hands okay?"

She laced her fingers with mine and made a sound akin to a cat spitting out a hairball. We met up to Inoue and her boyfriend who were also holding hands now. Her boyfriend had a small smirk on his face, as if telling me with that single action that Inoue would always belong to him, that she would always be his to hold, his to kiss. As for Inoue expression…I didn't know what it held.

I don't know why but I just couldn't look at her face.


	8. Chapter 7

The rest of the afternoon was a huge blur of colors, voices, faces, and feelings. We had gone on many rides, played many side games, and watched the sakura blossoms sway in the cool air. My mind wasn't on that though, it wasn't paying attention to any of it. Instead I thought about what that bastard said, I tried to imagine those words coming from Inoue's mouth; and every time I did, I pictured her saying them in her polite manner, caustically castrating me with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye.

But then one side of me would tell me, _She's not like that, you know her, can you honestly picture her saying those things? Can you honestly think that with a clear heart and mind?_ I would agree with this side of me, telling myself that it's not like her to do something like that, that those words could never leave her mouth. But then the other cynical more realistic side of me would prattle in my ear, it would tell me in the coldest harshest way.

_Don't put her above it._

I went back and forth with it all afternoon. Back and forth saying she could, she couldn't. I felt like I was plucking a flower and with each fallen pedal I would think, s_he could have, she couldn't have. _I couldn't decide whether to like her or to despise her. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to look at her face or never wanted to see it again. I couldn't decide on anything when it came to her; or maybe it wasn't that I couldn't but more that I refused.

Could my feelings for her really change with one thing her boyfriend said? Did it really matter that much what he said, what he thought?

Everyone starts to date someone because even though they see their faults, they have a set of redeeming qualities that make them unique and attractive to that certain person; and that in itself says a lot about the person someone dates. But what was the redeeming quality Inoue saw in Ishida? What was it that she saw that made him attractive to her? What did it truly say about her when he would insult Tatsuki, someone he doesn't even know, when he would share what his ears were only meant to hear?

I had never been one to understand the logistics of relationships and it seemed that I still didn't. I just didn't want to think about it anymore, I wanted to think about my achievements, about the next story I would write, about my family, about…anything. I wanted to think about something that didn't remotely have to do with Inoue or her boyfriend, but every time I tried, those words shot at my brain, reverberating in my skull until I focused on them.

"_Don't ever forget Kurosaki, you've never had a chance with her; never had, never will. She's my girlfriend, not yours; no matter how much you pray or how much you wish, she'll never be yours."_

I battled with that thought for a while until I finally accepted it. I accepted that I would be one of the passing figures in her life, that probably a year from now she wouldn't know who I was; she would only remember me as another one of the pathetic losers that liked her. I accepted that I would never know what her lips would feel like, that I would never know how she felt in my arms. And when I accepted that, I felt a burden of some sort lift from my shoulders, as if I had been carrying a boulder on my back and it finally crumbled into small pebbles.

The venom of those words still lingered, but I knew it would pass in a few days. I would only have to see Inoue when I came to the office, and I would probably never see _Mr. Ishida_ again; and I was ok with that. I looked at the sky and noticed that it wasn't as vibrant as it had been the last time I looked at it. It was starting to turn into that milky blue that was found in the late afternoon before sunset; that milky blue that had wispy clouds painted with color on one end of the horizon and clouds like jam whisking across the other.

When I looked down from the sky I noticed that I was standing near a ride with only Tatsuki by my side. I started to ask where Inoue and Ishida were but I realized that I didn't really care to know. Instead, I put my hands in my pockets and started rocking back on the heels of my feet. I felt a burning on the side of my head coming from Tatsuki's direction, and when I turned to see what was glaring into my head I saw it was Tatsuki's eyes fixed on me with a small smirk at her lips. I glowered back at her in silence for a few moments until she broke the pregnant pause.

"So you've finally come down from the haze you've been in all afternoon?"

Her arms were folded across her chest and she stared at me with a knowing in her eye and question at her lips.

"What are you talking about? What haze have I been in all afternoon?"

She shrugged before she answered, "I don't know, it just seems like something has been bothering you. You've been pretty much in your own little world today."

I mulled over her words for a moment before I replied.

"I was just thinking some things over that's all."

"What? Were you thinking how much you just totally adore Orihime?

I scoffed at her words and retorted. "Ha ha very funny Tatsuki. Do you like her boyfriend? Because from the way you were eyeing him down I swear there had to be a crater on his face."

I didn't tell her what an ass he was though; quite frankly I didn't have the time before she started coming up with excuses. I saw a slight blush at her cheeks and couldn't help but grin at the fact that I managed to make her get so flustered. After a few minutes of her gibberish explanations she gave up and settled on just calling me an ass. I snorted and looked in the direction opposite of her. A few minutes passed before I saw Inoue and her significant other approach us. They both were holding huge conglomerates of cotton candy in each hand that were speckled with different hues. Inoue approached both me and Tatsuki and gave us the large swirls of candy. I was going to tell her that I didn't eat the sweet sugary puffy stuff, but, when I saw that almost silicon smile plastered on her face I relented and took it.

I noticed while we were all standing there how Inoue, Ishida, and Tatsuki had formed some sort of tight connected triangle and I was left outside somewhere in the tangent. It didn't bother me like it was supposed to; in fact it didn't bother me in the slightest. I was done with this day as soon as it began and the more they excluded me the better. I saw a bench near us, walked toward it, and sat down. I relaxed a bit and tried eating the sweetened candy but once I took a bite I tossed it in the trashcan. It was a few minutes before they noticed I wasn't around and Tatsuki called me back to her side. I reluctantly returned and off we went to our next activity.

After we got off from the most recent ride I was ruffling my hair in a mix of anger and annoyance. They said that that would be the activity, that after that ride we would all depart home. But no! Oh no, we hadn't gone on the Ferris wheel yet and Ishida and Tatsuki had to use the restroom. I stopped at a series of small alcoves that were a ways from the restrooms and told them that's where I would be when they returned. Inoue volunteered to stand with me, saying that she didn't have to use the restrooms and it would be pointless for her to tag along.

It was nearly deserted where we stood, with only a few passerby's here and there. I heard a few of the birds chirp in the air and felt the wind at my face which relaxed me a bit. I closed my eyes and let the sun beat down on my face as I listened to the pleasant sounds of nature around me. I heard garbled, faint words that were far off in the distance and when I opened my eyes and looked in front of me I saw Inoue with an expectant smile on her face.

"What?"

"I said you look nice today Mr. Kurosaki."

I said a quick thanks and felt slightly compelled to return the compliment but I didn't. I realized that these were the only words she had spoken directly to me besides her jovial introduction. I saw that almost expectant look in her eye, that look that wanted me to start up a conversation, but I declined by looking away. I knew that I was being cold, that I was treating her as if she had done something wrong, but I just couldn't help it.

Maybe I was treating her like this because I was taking out my resentment for her boyfriend out on her, or maybe it was because I knew that I could never have a relationship past friendship with her. I mulled over the many reasons why I would be treating her like I was but I couldn't discern why. Maybe it was just a simple defense mechanism. Maybe I didn't want to talk to her because then it would remind me of all the things I liked about her and right now I didn't want to remember a single reason; I just desperately wanted the day to be over.

I wanted to go home and watch the sun set, I wanted to watch the twinkle of the stars in the night sky or play a game. I wanted to go to sleep and forget everything that happened today, to remember this day just as a bad dream; I just wanted it to be over. I leaned my shoulder on the side of the little niche and closed my eyes as I once again listened to the chirps and wisps around me.

I heard the laughter of a group of people behind me but I paid no mind. Their words were mumbled and garbled, and I heard the excited almost drunken footsteps of them coming closer. I didn't bother to look to see how close they were to me, thinking that if I was in their path that they would walk. But stupid drunken festival goers have a way of being so wrapped into what they are talking about that they don't see or hear anything else. That's when I felt the hard shove of a body much bigger than mine that knocked me off balance and sent me tumbling forward. I felt before I saw the soft body of someone and felt their body thump harshly against the inside slab of the alcove. I heard the air escape from their lungs and I placed my palms against the cold rock to steady and balance myself.

I felt my anger begin to bubble inside, I felt that need to beat the living daylights out of someone, but, before I could do that I had to make sure that the person in front of me was alright. I looked up to see huge pools of gray and soft pink lips and realized the person I had tumbled on was Inoue. I suddenly became aware that her small fist were balled with my shirt in her grasp, that our bodies were so close that I could feel her arms pressed against my chest and abdomen, that I was so close I was able to smell her perfume; I could even hear her shallow breaths that escaped her body. All the previous thoughts I had about chasing down the perpetrator vanished from my mind when I saw that scared yet excited look in her eye and that slight pucker at her lips.

"A-are you okay?"

"Y-yea I'm fine; my back just hurts a little."

I nodded and gulped down the salvia that now felt as thick as molasses. Any regular person would've relented and backed up a little to release some of the pressure on her back, but it felt as if rigor mortis had set into my body. I felt her fist tighten on my shirt and she rested her head against the wall. I felt my heart thump wildly in my chest and my thoughts screamed in my head. They were telling me to kiss her, that it would be the perfect opportunity. Her eyes were closed, her head faintly titled back, and her lips slightly parted; it was like she was inviting me, like she was asking me to without speaking. I leaned in, ready to seize the opportunity, ready to kiss her. I felt her soft breath tingling my own lips and took it as a good sign that she didn't buck away from me. I felt her grip tighten on my shirt again, as if she was egging me on, I heard that screaming in my head and was going to comply; I was going to kiss her.

"_Don't ever forget Kurosaki, you've never had a chance with her; never had, never will. She's my girlfriend, not yours; no matter how much you pray or how much you wish, she'll never be yours."_

I stopped and realized what I was doing. Was I really about to kiss her; was I going to kiss someone else's girlfriend? Ishida was right; she was never mine to hold, never mine to touch, never mine to kiss. She belonged to Ishida, he belonged to her, and there was no room for me in this equation.

"Sorry,"

I was sorry for so many things. I was sorry that I had acted as if she had done something wrong to me, sorry for yelling at her when she told me she had a boyfriend, sorry for refusing to talk to her, sorry for not kissing her; I was sorry for everything. I took a step back and bowed my head as to not see her face. I didn't know what I was doing anymore; one minute I wanted nothing to do with her, and the next I wanted to be around her all the time; my feelings for her were so jumbled and disoriented that it was beginning to make my head hurt.

"…Mr.…Kurosaki…"

I noticed that her fists were still intertwined with my shirt and her body was still semi close to mine.

"You know you don't have to keep calling me Mr. Kurosaki. You can call me whatever you want, I-I don't care. You don't even have to talk to me anymore. I know that I've been such a thorn in the side for you and Tatsuki and Ishida today and it would probably be best if-"

I felt a fierce pull midsentence and my body was in close proximity to hers. I felt her soft breath prickling at my neck and smelled her perfume in my nose as tingles shot up and down my spine.

"Can I call you Kurosaki-kun then? I think it's cute."

I nodded and felt the heat pour off my face as her breathing continued to tickle my neck. I felt soft slender fingers tugging at my chin and looked down to see big gray swirls and soft pink lips. Her eyes looked so pretty, like mystic swirls of arsenic and her cheeks were pink, as if she had painted that soft color onto her face.

"…Your name is cute…your hair is cute…your face is cute…you're…just…cute."

I felt soft lips touch mine and her hand gently drop to my shoulder. At first I didn't realize that she was kissing me, that her lips tasted sweet like cotton candy, that her hand gently picked at the hem of my collar. Before I knew what I was doing, I pressed my lips against hers and felt that hand at my shirt tighten ever so slightly. I was lost and never wanted to be found. Her lips were like soft silk against mine, like sugary soft candy. I felt something wet tenderly lick my lip and it was a moment before I realized it was her tongue. I opened my mouth allowing her tongue to play with my own, allowing that tingling feeling to roam through my entire body. Her other hand let go off my shirt, wrapped around the back of my neck, and pulled me forward, effectively pushing my mouth more to hers. I placed my hand of the side of her torso and began rubbing circles on her abdomen with the pad of my thumb as her hand nimbly played with my hair. It felt like electricity ran through every part of my body that made contact with hers. It felt like I was floating and she had agreed to float along with me.

All too soon that feeling of electric shock left, that feeling of floating was gone and her lips left mine. She pecked at mine a couple of more times before she rested her head in the crook of my neck. My heart was like thunder in chest, thudding against my ribcage with a quick intensity.

"Sorry"

It took a minute before I understood what she said, and it took even longer for me to realize that she had maneuvered her way out of my arms. I stood there for a few minutes, going over everything that had just happened, trying to assemble my disassemble mind. I heard Tatsuki with her boisterous yelling and slowly left the little alcove.

* * *

"Ahhh Ichigo hasn't today been fun? Orihime is just so adorable and her boyfriend isn't that bad either."

We had left the festival and I was now walking Tatsuki to her apartment. When she spoke I only half-listened and numbly nodded to everything she said. I wasn't trying to blow her off, I wasn't trying to tune out almost everything she said, it was just my head was so wrapped around what happened in that little alcove. When we departed from Inoue and Ishida, I looked at Inoue and was only met with confusion. Instead of my feelings for her being crystal clear like spring water, they were murky and swampy, like wet mud on a rainy day. What did that kiss mean to her? What did it mean to me? Why did she apologize? What has she done that required an apology? I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn't realize that Tatsuki was standing in front of me, her hands planted on her hips, and a frown sculpted onto her face.

"What's your deal Ichigo? You've been acting weird all day."

"Some things have just been on my mind that's all."

Her eyebrows quirked a bit and a mischievous smile crept onto her face. "What? Have those things that have been on your mind had to do with Orihime?"

I gave her the biggest smile I could muster and completely changed the subject. "How about you stop worrying about me and let's just get you home, it'll be dark soon and I'd like to get home before the sunset."

I saw the smile almost instantaneously drop from her face and an almost sympathetic look take over. I side stepped her and continued my descent down the avenue. I heard her feet sluggishly continue behind me as we walked to her apartment.

"Ichigo how long have we known each other?"

I scratched the posterior end of my head, stuffed my hands into my pockets and replied, "I don't know, since as long I can remember I guess."

"Yep, that's what I was thinking too; that I've known you as long as I can remember and…still you hide your emotions from everyone, from me. You don't have to be like that all the time Ichigo. You can tell me what's going on…it's not like I'm gonna share that information with anyone else."

"It's just that it's not that important, that's all."

I heard her sigh and knew that she was giving up. We had many conversations similar to the one that we were having now and each time I would tell her the same thing, I would tell her that it's not that important, that I don't want to burden her with such trivial matters.

"…You know I was just playing earlier."

"Hmm? Playing about what?"

"When I said that Orihime was out of your league; it's not true. I think you guys are about in the same ballpark."

I scoffed at her words and retorted. "You don't have to lie to make me feel better. I know what my face looks like, so don't lie to try and boost my self-esteem."

In a split second Tatsuki was in front of me, that frowned implanted onto her face. "I wasn't lying! And you know I'd tell you the truth in a heartbeat! I meant what I said Ichigo!"

She yelled as she made her declaration of truth, then a softer more subtle tone replaced it. "You don't always have to put yourself down Ichigo. You don't always have to give up before you try. And you're not ugly but actually kinda cute. I know it doesn't mean anything when the words come from me, but what I'm saying is the truth. Just…just remember that okay?"

Her eyes were wide and sincere, and I knew that she was telling the truth. I smiled and patted her on the shoulder. "Yea, I'll remember if it gets you off my back."

She chuckled and retorted. "You and that stupid half-assed smile and I'll never be off your back, you dope; don't ever forget that either."

I waved her off and grinned, "Yea yea I'll never forget…tomboy."

She chased me down to her apartment complex and proceeded to pound me into the ground with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye.


	9. Chapter 8

For the next few weeks I did not see Inoue.

Let me rephrase that; for the next few weeks I avoided her. After the whole fiasco at the festival with her and her boyfriend I couldn't bring myself to talk to her, let alone look at her face. I knew that I had no reason to avoid her; she hadn't done anything wrong, right? She hadn't hurt me in any sort of way….

Right?

But, I had every reason to avoid her. She accepted gifts from me when she already had someone to give her gifts, she needlessly complemented me when she already had someone she could give words of commendation to; she kissed me, when she already had someone to hold, to kiss.

When I thought of her, everything was jumbled, nothing was in a linear pattern as it should be; nothing was how I wanted it to be, how I **needed **it to be. I thought that time away from her would be good for me; it would distance me from that luminescent smile and those glowing eyes, it would give me time to let my feelings fade, to let those annoying stupid emotions finally drift off into the abyss; that's what I wanted, what I needed. I needed not to like her, to be away from her; to finally return some normalcy and balance to my life.

So I avoided her.

I made sure to go into the office when I was sure she wasn't there, I was sure not to visit the coffee shop when I had a slight feeling that she might be there (ever since the festival, her and Tatsuki had become like conjoined twins at the hip, and Inoue visited her a lot at her place of work). I was doing everything I could to avoid her, but my mind would not clear itself of her.

There were so many questions left unanswered, so many actions left with no retribution. I wanted to know the reasons for her actions, the responses for her words; I wanted to know why. But in the end, the curious cat might not like what is at the end of that dark tunnel, the satisfaction of knowing might not be enough to revive the feline. I didn't want to be that damn cat, I didn't want to know, but then I wanted to know; I wanted to know everything, yet nothing at all. It was a cycle, a stupid cycle that I fell into.

Had one woman done this to me? Had one woman made me such an indecisive faltering idiot?

Then that's when the anger flushed through my veins. I was angry; angry for no reason, angry for every reason. I was angry at myself because I had let her slip through my defenses, angry that I was overcome by that smile and those eyes. Then I was mad at her, mad that she had led me on, mad that she made me think I had a chance, mad that she wasn't to like the others, that she didn't take one look at me and call me a freak. Why was she so nice to me? Why couldn't she just be comtemptuous like the others? Why did she have to be so damn nice all the time? Why…why did she say I was "cute"?

Why did she kiss me?

I once heard from someone that the difference between fiction and reality, is that fiction has to make sense. Right now, that made more sense to me than anything else. In my stories, everything had to go a certain way, certain actions that the characters took had to make sense; they had to have some form of logic. But this, this awkward, cramped, situation I found myself in made no sense. She accepts my gift, then tells me she has a boyfriend. She calls me cute, kisses me, then says she sorry. What was she sorry for anyway? I didn't even want to delve into the possible reasons why she would apologize; my head was already throbbing with all the other possible reasons for her actions.

I still wondered how much of the real Inoue I was seeing in my previous encounters with her. Was it all a façade? Was she all nice in public and malignant in private? Was I seeing the real her, or just a cheap picturesque of what was beneath the surface? Did she haughtily talk about me the same way her boyfriend taunted Tatsuki? Did she laugh at me the same way her boyfriend did? Did she tell him what a loser I am; did she tell him what he told me?

Did she?

I had so many questions I wanted to pitch at her; so many questions that deserved answers, whether those answers be pleasant or not. There was so much…shit that needed to cleared from my eyes and wiped from my senses; because it felt like that was what I was feeling, tasting, smelling, and seeing. Pure unadulterated filthy _shit. _It was clogging up everything and I needed a toilet to flush it all down. I needed a release from her and all the twisted feelings and actions and reasons that she came with.

I needed her out of my life.

It was cold, cruel, and a bit unnecessary, but I no longer cared. For the past few months everything had been out of wack, and I wanted things straight. I wanted to be that impenetrable defensive orange headed idiot who never let anyone in. I wanted to be the guy that people knew to stay away from; I wanted to be the jerk that nobody ever tried to approach. Because, when I was that jerk, that ass that everyone saw and feared, I wouldn't get hurt; my emotions would never be revealed to the eyes of anyone and my barriers would never falter.

I would never get hurt.

I craved that isolation, I craved that resistance against something as dumb and sappy as heartbreak or whatever you want to call it; I never wanted to correlate with it, I wanted to stay as far away from it as possible. I knew, the next time I would see her, I would tell her to no longer associate herself with me, that I was unnecessary to her life and she was the same to mine. I would tell her everything I thought of her, whether it would be good or bad; I would tell her and get these overbearing, exhausting emotions off of my chest.

I threw the covers of my bed sheet away from my body and with a sturdy resolve tossed on clothes to go for a walk; all of this intense thinking had me worked up and I needed to waste some of the energy that festered through my being and going out for a walk would do just the trick.

I walked aimlessly down the boulevard, not bothering to orient myself in a certain direction. The weather was such that it had chips of cold in the air, but was still pleasantly warm. The breeze ruffled through my hair and swayed my clothes gently as if I was a small child in its arms. The sky was a vibrant buzzing blue with clothesline clouds passing across it here and there. The distance squawks of birds and the luminosity of the sun made me want to go somewhere quiet and peaceful, somewhere where I could just sit and think and watch as the sky changed; thankfully Itabashi had a dozen different places that offered a peaceful placid atmosphere where someone was sure to be undisturbed.

I kicked the jagged rocks from the sand I walked upon and heard laughter in the distance. It was too cold for people to swim in the waters of the ocean, but people still came to the beach to stick their feet in the ocean's shore and frolic through the sand. I on the other hand was completely uninterested in the beach. It was the tall rocky cliffs that always caught my attention. There were a series of them but the one I focused on was the most highest of them all. I leisurely walked up the steep slope and kicked rocks as I made my way up.

As I was walking I smelled that stingy salt of the ocean and looked out to the waters. It was such an incredible blue that it rivaled that of the sky. The sunlight twinkled and refracted off of the wavy water and white dots swooped down and captured fish from the sea. Small waves tumbled towards the shore as the white of the rip tide sporadically made itself visible from the jiggling bubbling wavy oceanic waters. I kicked another rock from its sandy home and felt that familiar burning in my legs from walking up such a steep incline. I didn't mind that burning or the slush feel the sand had beneath my sneakers; all of it was relaxing to me, it was all dragging me away from the thoughts that had plagued me for weeks. It was methodically entreating me to lose myself in the beauty of the sky or the ocean; to forget everything that had caused me troubles in the last few months.

And that gently, pulling entreaty, I gladly accepted.

I made my way to the top of the cliff and let out a breath of accomplishment as I did so. I stretched and heard the creak of my joints and bones in my body and was relieved of that rigidity that had set in. I looked around and strangely saw the silhouette of a person sitting on the edge of the cliff in my favorite spot. I felt my eyebrows furrow together and a downward pull at my lips. I knew that this place didn't belong to me, but I felt as if it was my secret hiding place, I felt that it was my place to come and someone had disrespected that and come here. I felt that urge to leave now that someone else was here but I resisted, and told myself that they would be the one leaving. I walked up to the edge, planning to glare the person away so that I could think in peace.

As I got closer I saw that this person was a woman and heard the sniffles from her; that didn't break my resolve one bit and I only continued to approach. I saw lightly colored hair that covered her back that looked all too familiar and when she turned towards me to see who had shattered her privacy, my resolve crumbled before my eyes.

It was Inoue.

And she was crying.

It wasn't so much that I had seen her here, in a place that I least expected to find her, no it was her face; it was teary and stricken with that undeniable contortion of pain. Her eyebrows were furrowed in a downward motion, and tears leaked from her eyes. Her bottom lip had a slight quiver to it and I had never seen her face so pale with color. It wasn't that she was crying, or that sad look that covered her face that bothered me to no end, it was her eyes; those grey slick looking eyes.

They were glistening with pain, an overwhelming indescribable pain that I knew hurt with every breath she took. I felt my heart splinter and the resolve that I had pumped myself up with dissolve when I saw that look. How could I possibly tell her that she was like a leech on my life, that I no longer wanted to even see here anymore when I saw a look like that smothered on her face?

I slowly walked towards her and took a seat next to her at the edge of the cliff. I looked at her and tried to offer her a smile but I don't know how well that came out; I could never smile like her, to have that radiant smile that could brighten up someone's day. I couldn't even manage a regular smile; how could mine match up to hers? I didn't greet her or ask what was wrong. I knew that when I was upset if anyone asked me if I was ok that it only upset me more; I didn't want to add to the grief that she was already experiencing.

"…H-hell-o, M-M-Mr. Ku-ro-saki,"

Her voice cracked on every syllable of my name and I could tell that it took a tremendous amount of effort on her part to even speak. Did she have to always do that? Did she always have to try and be so damn nice, even when it so obvious that she was in some sort of emotional grief?

"You don't have to greet me every time you see me Inoue. Especially when you're like this; you-you don't have to say anything!"

I heard her cough out a laugh and try to answer but I looked at her and whatever thoughts she had about replying left when she saw my face. I didn't know what to do. She wasn't my sister or my girlfriend, how was I supposed to comfort her? Usually when something upset Tatsuki, we would play a game or she would practice her latest martial art moves on me. But this wasn't Tatsuki, this was Inoue, Inoue Orihime, and they were two very different people. I settled with giving her a pat on the back and for me that was hard. I didn't know what her reaction would be to that and I just hoped it wouldn't be anything crazy.

She leaned her head onto my shoulder and began to cry. Her tears quickly soaked my shirt but I didn't care; and I didn't do anything further to try to comfort her. I just sat there like an idiot, alternating my gaze from the sand to the ocean. How was I supposed to comfort the woman that I had built up to be an evil haughty person in my mind?

How was I supposed to comfort the woman I wanted nothing to do with?

I didn't do anything and just sat there and before long her cries turned into sniffles and those sniffles turned into hiccups. I offered to walk her home and she somewhat reluctantly accepted; I guess she didn't want Ishida to see me walking the object of my affection to her home. When we arrived at her apartment, she told me in her high pitched cracking voice that she wanted to tell me something. She hesitated a while and I saw the tanks of tears well up in her eyes and told her it was okay, that I didn't really didn't need to know whatever she felt obligated to tell me. But she remained solid by her resolve to tell me whatever it was; that is until she burst into tears. She kept saying over and over, "I need to tell you! You deserve to know!"

I didn't know was so important that she needed to tell me, that she insisted that I deserved to know, but it hurt to see her cry with such an intensity like that; to see courage well up inside her then break when she would try to speak. I told her that she could tell me at a later date, that it'd be best if she was calmer, it would be easier for her to tell me what I 'needed' to know. She agreed, and tried to smile at me with that luminosity it always held, but this time it was morphed, it was slumped and didn't have the warmth that all her other smiles had; it was sad and heartbreaking. I quickly left, retreating back to my own apartment to listen to my scrambled thoughts again.

In a matter of two minutes, my resolve had shattered and my world of conformity was once again in tatters.


	10. Chapter 9

"We broke up."

It was a week after I found her sobbing her eyes out by the open rocky ledge. We were sitting up on the same cliff that I initially found her crying. Her legs were drawn up near her chest, her arms wraps around them, and her face gently wedged in between her knees. We had been sitting for almost an hour before she decided to speak. During that length of time my mind jumbled on what she needed to tell me, on what was going on with her that she so desperately needed to speak to me about; fortunately I had to ponder no more. I was playing with the rocky sand, grabbing a handful and watching it patter out onto the ground as the breeze talked around us. When she spoke, I completely forgot about the sand and could only stare at her face in disbelief.

Tears ran down her face as her bottom lip quivered slightly. Somewhere in the background, I heard the bird chirps and the happy cries of those playing down at the beach. I saw in the far off distance the vivacious blue of the sky and felt the warmth of the sun smiling on my back. It was a beautiful day, a day filled with such warmth and color and exuberant life that directly contrasted with her downcast, bleak mood. Her eyes were dejected and she squeezed her legs tighter, as if a chilly breeze wafted across her skin. I didn't know what to say, what to do; what to think.

Shouldn't I be happy that she had broken up with him? Shouldn't I be happy that her bastard of a boyfriend was out of her life? Shouldn't I be happy that I actually had a viable chance with her? Everything in my being should have been as lucid as the tears trailing down her face; but, they were not. Everything was thrown upside down again; everything was gnarled and murky, like a marsh swamp laden with thick rotting old branches. I was confused; when I saw them together they had the look of a happy couple fresh in love. What happened? What so drastically happened that they decided to end their relationship completely?

"…Why…why are you telling me this?"

That was the one question that swirled through my mind. Why? Why did she bring me all the way out here to tell me that she and her boyfriend ended their personal relationship? I wasn't a best friend of hers; hell, I was barely a good friend. Weren't we just acquaintances? Wasn't I just a writer that had accidentally stumbled upon her one cold January day? Wasn't she just a secretary that happened to be the person I knocked down? When did this happen? When did our lives intertwine to such a point that I started to like her, that she kissed me; that she insisted on telling me that she and her beloved boyfriend had ended things?

When had any of this begun?

"Because…you deserved to know…"

I felt my eyebrows contort in befuddlement; I felt that she was talking in circles now, that she was torturing that damn bush. I wanted her to get down to the essence of things, to stop abusing that shrubbery and come out and say what she wanted to.

"…I…I love Uryuu-kun…" her voice trembled as she spoke and she coughed out a laugh, "…I can still remember the first day we met. It was during the summer between my first and second year in high school. We both were doing the same community project, serving the homeless. I-I remember he was so shy back in those days."

* * *

_She gladly poured the reddish looking soup into the bowl and happily handed it to the grungy looking man. She smiled that smile at him and the man gave her a nod of the head as he toothlessly grinned. He took his food and hunched over to his seat in the soup kitchen. The young girl usually spent her Saturdays like this, serving the poor and offering them a bowl of soup and a genial smile. She knew all of her fellow volunteers and a few regulars that visited but was curious when she saw a new face. The boy looked to be around the same age as her and wore a sleek pair of glasses. He had a part in the middle of his hair and wore it to the brink of his jaw bone. When they had a short recess from their duties the girl decided to go and talk to the dark haired boy. _

_He sat on a bench by himself, slowly eating his meal while he watched the different people enter and leave the mess hall when the sandy haired teen approached him. She made a quite entertaining and amiable introduction and sat down near him to eat her lunch also. Truth be told, this young man was quite attracted to the girl and wanted to get to know her better; he just wasn't too sure how to go about it. He started with his introduction and shortly thereafter made small talk with the girl until they both had to return to their duties. Over the course of the summer the young boy started to regularly come to volunteer at the kitchen with the girl and they began to develop a strong friendship. _

_And their history had begun._

* * *

Her voice was laced with nostalgia but still quivered when she spoke. A sad upward turn of her lips picked at her mouth as she stared into the abyss of blue that was the ocean. I looked over at the sparkling waves and continued to play with the sand as her reminiscent voice filled my ears.

"We…began dating about a year and after that. He was so courteous and nice, he always use to consider my emotions before he did his own; and when he used to smile at me, I couldn't help but think he was just so adorably handsome. He…was the perfect boyfriend…he…really knew how to make a girl fall in love with him within a matter of months. I…I…still love Uryuu-kun…"

* * *

"_Uryuu-kun, let's go to the river!" _

_They were walking down a moderately busy street when the idea popped into her head. Her long flowing skirt drifted in the soft wind and her hands were loosely clasped in front of herself. She wanted to go to a place that was rarely visited where she could be alone with him. He smiled tenderly at her and grabbed a hold of her hand as he gave her a small peck on the lips. She smiled up at him with wide eyes and soon they found themselves at the riverside. She meandered herself out of her shoes and dipped her toes into the lukewarm water. The young man watched her from behind with a smile on his face. He quietly sneaked up and gave her a tight hug which elicited a squeak and flurry of surprise. He lost his balance and fell into the water with her alongside him. They frolicked and played in the water well into the late afternoon and removed themselves from the river only when it started to have a slight chill. _

_They lay down as he pulled her close and she rested her wet head upon his shoulder. She laced her fingers with his hand that lay on her torso and closed her eyes as she listened to the slight heaving of his chest. She thought that she could stay like this with him for an eternity, that she could let the world pass by and forever be happy in his warm embrace. She looked at his countenance, wiped the sticky hair from his face and kissed his jaw line. She snuggled closer to him and felt the warmth of his body which made her feel content. _

"_I love you Uryuu-kun" _

_She whispered it softly and was met with an equally tender kiss upon her forehead. She looked up and saw the steel cobalt of his eyes and a small smile at his lips. He kissed her again, this time on her lips and rested his forehead against hers._

"_I love you too, Orihime"_

* * *

I cut my gaze from the ocean and returned my eyes to her face. I could feel my eyebrows furrow and conjure together as my heart ached painfully from behind my ribcage. _If your still so in love with the bastard why are you telling me? Why aren't you someone off with him, telling him what you're telling me!_ I wanted to shout those words at her, to know the reason why she was sharing this with me, when she probably had a dozen other people to go to. But as I looked at her tear-stricken face, I couldn't find any courage to interrogate her; I couldn't possibly ask her anything when her eyes held such an intensity of hurt and pain. I looked down at my hands, I stared at how they were dusty looking from my constant romping in the miniscule rocks.

"…Uryuu-kun's father is a renowned doctor back in the city we come from. Uryuu-kun wanted to be a great doctor like him and wanted to go to one of the top medical schools in Japan. He wanted me to move in with him while he attended one of Tokyo's finest medical schools, in the Shinjuku ward. I agreed, and shortly thereafter I applied and was accepted to one of their universities also. I was happy; I was with the love of my life and was going to school at one of the top universities all of Tokyo had to offer. I…was happy."

* * *

"_Orihime, Tokyo Medical University is one of the best medical schools in all of Japan! They teach you everything and if you're lucky enough you get to be an intern at the hospital! Going to school there, I know it's going to be great!" _

_He was excitedly pacing around the room as the girl sat in the office chair in complete awe. It was rare when something could excite her boyfriend to such a point that he would move about with nervous energy; it was rare to see such an intense excitement dancing around his face and jumping in his eyes. His sudden pacing stopped and he seemed to regain control of himself. He looked intently at his girlfriend, a somber expression graphed onto his face._

"_Orihime…" he began then trailed off, "…Orihime, when this summer is over, when I go to TMU, I want you to come with me…I mean…what I mean is…I-I want you to move in with me."_

_Her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates at his proposition. Did he really just ask for her to live with him? Did he really love her that much that he wanted her to move in with her? _

"_B-but Uryuu-kun, I've already been accepted into one of Kyoto's top schools! I-I can't turn down their scholarship, it's the only way I can go to school!" _

_He sat down on the bed and patted it as she sluggishly came and sat by him. He embraced her and laced his fingers with hers as she laid her head on his shoulder. _

"_I know that you've already been accepted but I bet if you applied to one of the Universities in Tokyo you could get in just by the marks you got in school," he pressed his finger to her lips when he saw her formulate a reply, "And you don't have to worry one bit about tuition. With my father's influence you could get accepted with a scholarship in one hour. Orihime, you know how much I love you, and it would kill me if I couldn't have you by my side when I go to school; haven't you heard? Everything's better when Orihime's around."_

_She chuckled at his comment and squeezed his hand in reassurance. "I'm trusting you Uryuu-kun, please don't let me down." _

_And he wouldn't. _

_As he said, she was accepted into one of Tokyo's finest universities that was in close proximity to TMU. A few months later they moved in together and started their life as college students. She was happy, genuinely happy that she was with the person who she thought was her soul mate; she truly thought she would be happy living with him._

* * *

I heard her sniffle and could hear the emotion that clogged her voice. She sounded the exact opposite of happy as she was telling me what happened. It sounded as if somewhere deep down she regretted going with him in the first place.

"…I-I started to get bored with everything. Everything seemed to feel mundane after almost two years of living with Uryuu-kun and going to school. I didn't have to work because Uryuu-kun insisted that it was not necessary. Without having a job, I didn't have anything to tire me out; I didn't have anything to expend all this extra energy I had. When I used to look at Uryuu-kun, I didn't feel that same jittery feeling of excitement I used to experience when I used to look into his eyes. I didn't feel that spark when we used to kiss; everything just felt tiresome and old, it felt as if I was a clock forever ticking away on the wall. Those intense feelings I had for Uryuu-kun felt hampered, as if the flame burning so strongly for him had pattered down."

"That's why I decided to transfer and move to Itabashi. I thought that a little time away from Uryuu-kun would help; it would remind me of why I loved him so much. I thought that after two years of a methodical existence, moving to a new province and going to a new school would finally wash out those feelings of confinement and antsy energy; I thought that after moving to a new part of town, Uryuu-kun and I could have some space to fix the problems in our relationship."

* * *

"_Why?"_

_His voice carried a pleading factor to it as he looked at his girlfriend who stood there with her bags packed._

"_Uryuu-kun, I-I already told you why! You know the reasons why I have to leave! Please! I-I don't want to talk about it again." _

_Her voice was trembling and her eyes glossed over from restrained tears. _

"_I'm only thinking about us. I want to rediscover that reason why I moved here with you, I want to miss you Uryuu-kun. I want to fall in love with you all over again."_

"_But I don't want to live without you! I want you here with me! I don't want to travel all the way to Itabashi just to see you!"_

"_It's only about two hours away on the subway." _

_She mumbled as she looked away from his intense gaze. They both knew why this was happening, why they were falling apart. She wanted to salvage their relationship, she didn't want to regret ever getting into a relationship with him; she didn't want to regret every choosing to come to Tokyo with him._

_She gave him a tight hug and kissed him gingerly before she left and boarded the subway. She needed something new, something different and Itabashi was just what she desired. She had already gone prior and found a job and applied to the university months before. She was ready for this change in pace, ready to conquer a whole new part of Tokyo._

* * *

"…I was so ready to take whatever Itabashi could throw at me; I was ready to bite the bullet on anything that came my way. But I don't think I was ready for a man that had orange hair and a frown implanted on his face." I looked up and saw her tear-stained face gently smiling at me. Her eyes glossed over my face for a second more before she stared back out at the water.

"You…were so different, such an enigma, and your eyes held stories that had yet to be told. Every time I saw you I was sure never to get bored; you always did something that could always manage to make me smile, even when I couldn't make myself smile, you always did something that was cute or funny or sweet. I…was attracted to you, and I didn't even realize it."

"When I visited Uryuu-kun I told him about you. He insulted you, saying that you were probably some aloof idiot; I defended you and we got into one of our worse fights. He left and I think that's when I realized that I was falling out of love with him, just as quickly as I had dived."

* * *

"_What is this?"_

"_It's something Mr. Kurosaki got for me. Don't you remember? I told you about him the last time we talked."_

_He was looking through the contents of the bag and contorted his face in disgust as he saw each different item._

"_What's with this bear? Did he not even have the time to get you a new one? And this card! Who still says this kind of stupid stuff? This guy is such an idiot!"_

_She snatched the bag from him and held it close to her while she stared at him with a frown. "Uryuu-kun, that's mean! And I like everything he got for me! I think it's cute and I thought you would think so too!" he dismissively turned his head away from her glare. "What's gotten into you lately? Why have you been acting so bitter towards me?"_

_He turned back, a glower in his eyes and threw his hands in the air. "I don't know maybe it's because all of a sudden __**my**__ girlfriend can't stop talking about some lame guy ever since she moved! I thought this distance between us was so that we could help our relationship! It just seems that you're starting another one with someone else!"_

"_It's not like that!" she yelled in her high pitched voice as tears started to form in her eyes, "It's not like that at all! He's the first friend I've had since I moved! Why are you getting so jealous over nothing?" _

"_Because I know you like him! I can tell! Are you trying to say I'm stupid or something? Orihime you know how much I love you and it just hurts to see you moving on with your life when I'm still here waiting on you!"_

"_I don't like him like that and I'm not moving on! I gave up on everything just to be with you! Have you forgotten that? I turned down my acceptance to Kyoto and lived with you because you wanted me to! Uryuu-kun you know I love you and only you! You know that I would never move on without you! _

_He rubbed the bridge of his nose, walked over to the coat rack, and threw on a jacket and shoes as he mumbled incoherently under his breath. _

"_Where are you going?" she asked with a tremble to her voice._

"_I'm going to the library to finish a paper. I-I'll talk to you later." He opened the door and walked out.  
_

"_Happy Valentine's Day."_

_He harshly slammed the door behind himself._

_He left her there in the staleness of his apartment as the tears that tanked in her eyes exploded. She dropped to the floor and hugged the disgruntled bear that the tangerine had given her. What happened to her relationship that they had succumbed to relentlessly yelling at each other? What so drastically changed that he would walk out on her like that; what made him leave without saying 'I love you' or giving her a kiss?_

_Who was this person that she said she loved?_

* * *

"But didn't you just say that you still loved him?"

She looked over at me and tried to force a smile on her pained face. I saw a dull twinkle in her eye that didn't have half the luminosity her eyes usually possessed. She closed her eyes and once again returned her head to the ocean as she took in a deep shaky breath.

"… My feelings for him have changed over the years. At the peak of our relationship, our love was as strong as the gravity that keeps the Earth bound to the Sun; I thought our love could never be broken by anything. But at the lowest valley, our love was brittle like frozen glass; we were falling apart at the seams; time has a way of weakening a love that was once so strong you thought nothing could break it. It's true that I love him, but I'm not **in** love with him; not anymore at least."

I couldn't hold my tongue any longer. Through out what she told me, so many thoughts passed through my frame that I thought I was going to explode. I felt a sort of pseudo happiness for her, then sympathy and now the emotion that seemed to overflow every part of my being was anger.

"How could you be with the guy for four years, how could you know the guy since high school and just now realize just how much of an ass he was? Hell from the first two minutes of talking with him I could tell that much about him!"

I could no longer purse my lips and keep my emotions concealed. I wanted to know, I wanted to know why everything had to happen like this, why everything had to be so contorted and twisted until the point where it made everything unrecognizable; I wanted a resolution. I saw her already hunched shoulders slump more and the tears drip freely from her eyes.

"…I…I guess I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see how much of a mean person he could be; maybe that's why I ignored it. When I looked at Uryuu-kun, all I could see was the sweet boy that would surprise me with flowers and make me feel like I was the only girl in the world. I didn't see the person that he had become."

"Why?"

I was no longer playing with the sand but instead looked at my clenched hands. There were so many questions that I wanted to ask, so many questions that demanded answers; there were so many explanations that had to be brought to the light.

"…Why…why didn't you tell me about Ishida earlier? Why did you say sorry? Why…did you kiss me?"

I didn't hesitate to look up and when I did she was staring intently at me, her eyes wide, her mouth slightly parted. I felt like I was staring into those grey oceans for an eternity. Every second I wanted to break my stare with her, to break away from that penetrating stare. But then I wanted to stare just as long as she, to retrieve the answer I was so desperately looking for from those depths; I wanted so badly just to have a reason for this insanity, I wanted to have a valid reason for all of the craziness that had consumed my life.

"You were the only person who could make me forget about what was happening with Uryuu-kun; you were my escape. You didn't throw false accusations at me, or pressure me into anything. You were just you; plain old Mr. Kurosaki that tried to block people out with insensitivity but was really a nice guy. I didn't tell you about Uryuu-kun because he simply didn't cross my mind when I was with you. You were all I could think about."

"…I kissed you because I…I…"

She trailed off as she thought of something to say. I felt as if I could almost read her mind, I felt that she was trying to hide the real reason she did what she did; I felt as if she was trying to make up excuses. I sighed as began to rub the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes.

"Inoue…you don't have to make up the real reason why you kissed me, you can just tell me the truth! You can tell me that you did it because you felt sorry for me or something! You can-"

"No!"

I was taken aback a bit by the sudden strength and emotion in her tone. She was no longer sitting in her fetal position and instead she was leaned in toward me.

"I didn't kiss you because I felt sorry for you! I kissed you because I…because **I like you**!"

She sat back again, as she seemed somewhat stunned by her own confession. I was completely taken off guard. To a regular person it would have come as clear as water; but to me, I always assumed people had ulterior motives. Could her reasoning truly be that simple, that transparent; did she really kiss me because she likes me?

"That day when I told you about Uryuu-kun, it confirmed what I was dreading; that day I told you about him, I realized that what he said was true. I was leaving him behind, I was starting a relationship with someone else and I didn't even realize it. I was leading both you and Uryuu-kun on, while my emotions where stuck in limbo. I…I really didn't mean to Mr. Kurosaki…I-I swear!"

She was openly crying now, her sobs racking her body causing her to slightly convulse.

"…Inoue…"

"…I-I ap-apologized because I was sorry for entangling you in my mess of a life; I apologized because I treated you differently when Uryuu-kun was around. I apologized because I knew I was acting like a leech on your life! When me and Uryuu-kun returned to my apartment I told him everything, I told him that I had developed feelings for you, I told him that I kissed you. I told him that our lives were heading in completely opposite directions and things hadn't been working out. When he left, our relationship had ended."

* * *

"_You what?"_

"_I told you Uryuu-kun I-I kissed him." _

_Her eyes were downcast as she sat on the couch in her living room with her mate standing in front of her with a surprised look on his countenance. The disbelief was in his eyes, the hurt in his soul, the anger in his heart. _

"_Why?"_

"_Because…I-I like him."_

_He agitatedly ran his fingers through his hair as he heatedly paced around the room. "Because you like him? Because you like him? I like a lot of girls at school Orihime but I don't go around kissing them just because I like them!" _

_His pace quickened as he began to say the same thing over again. She watched him for a moment and felt the tears well up in her eyes. She dropped her head again as she tried to stop the tears from coming. _

"_Uryuu-kun…"_

_He stopped in front of her and gripped his fingers around her shoulders as he yelled, "What?" _

_He saw the tears leaking onto her cheeks and the quiver at her lips which only made his heart ache. _

"_Uryuu-kun," she dropped her head as her voice cracked, "I think we should go our separate ways, permanently." _

_He weakly let go of her shoulders and sat beside her as a mix between a laugh and a cry left his throat. "It's always you who suggest things like this isn't it Orihime?" _

_She grabbed handfuls of her skirt as the tears blurred her vision, "Uryuu-kun, you know it hasn't been working, it hasn't been working ever since we tried to…" _

_She broke down before she could finish her statement and gripped her skirt as she fidgeted her feet. _

"…_It hasn't been working for a while now; long before I ever went to Itabashi and you know it! I-I want you to be with someone better than me, someone who can give you everything your heart desires. Y-you know I can't do that!" _

_It was quiet a moment before he answered. "But what if you're everything my heart desires? I know somehow we can make it work! Orihime, if you'll just try…" _

_His voice was hoarse and strained as he wiped a hand anxiously over his face. _

"_Uryuu-kun, you know I can't and I'm not! You know that I'm not the one who can truly give you what you want!" _

_It was quiet for a moment with only sobs being audible. The man stood up and pulled the woman into an embrace. They stood like that for a while; she cried into him until his sweater and shirt were soaked with her tears. He pulled away from her and held her chin in his hand so she would look up at him._

"_I want you to know that I still love you; I always will. Don't ever forget that okay?" his tone was soft and his eyes gentle. _

_She nodded and ducked her head when she felt another onslaught of tears well up in her eyes. "I-I love you too; and I always will." Her voice cracked and it took everything in her being not to let her tears fall from her eyes. He lifted her head once again and kissed her tenderly for the last time. And as he departed from her home, they both knew that would be the last time they would see each other._

* * *

"I bottled it up. After he left I stopped crying and went about my duties. For three weeks I managed to keep my life busy enough so that I wouldn't have to think about it. When I noticed that you weren't coming by the office I knew that you were avoiding me; I don't blame you though. I could tell you were the type who liked things a certain way and with me in the picture everything was disorganized and out of order. I hadn't had a day off those entire three weeks but one day Mrs. Urahara-san forced me to take one. I walked around town for a while trying to keep things off my mind and ended up here; that's when I couldn't hold it any more. Everything that I had tried to bottle up came bursting out and overflowing and all I could do was cry."

She took a deep shaky breath before she continued. "I sat there for a while crying, and decided that you needed to know what happened so that you finally have to deal with me anymore. I built that up in my mind, but when you came it all crumbled. Everything that had happened flashed through my mind and I couldn't say it. I knew that after I told you, you would be out of my life and it made me sad. I understand if you hate me because of the mess I've created in your life, but I promise after today I won't bother you anymore."

She ducked her head and tried to cry silently but the sniffles and deep inhalations of breath quickly gave her away. I looked away from her again, not being able to stand that look on her face. I felt like an asshole. Was I really going 'stick it to her' when she was in a state like this? Was I really going to say that I wanted her out of my life? I felt a stab of guilt in my heart as I thought about all the things I was going to say to her. I rubbed my temples as I contemplated what I was going to say.

"I-it wouldn't hurt if I hated you Inoue. The reason why I got so angry with you is because it did hurt. Somehow you managed to penetrate through the barriers I'd set up and I was angry about that; the reason why I wanted to stay away from you is for the single fact that I do like you. I wanted those feelings for you to fade so that I could return to my normal life."

I felt my heart thump out of control in my chest as I shuffled my feet slightly. "But now that I think about it, the life that I wanted to return to doesn't seem all that it's cracked up to be. With you everything is always going on and something is always happening and you're bound to never get bored. I think that I'd rather still have you in my life than out of it, because then I'd be bored out of my mind."

I looked at her and saw her eyes wide with surprise. I felt the heat rushing to my face and I quickly broke my stare with hers. Now that I had time to think about it, did I really just tell her that I liked her? Did I really just tell her my honest feelings about everything that happened? I heard her giggle and looked up to see her with a small smile at her lips.

"You're so cute."

I quickly got up and turned my head from her as I felt my face heat up again. I brushed the sand from my clothes and hands and proceeded to help her get up also. She smiled at me, that light in her eyes returning but still hampered by an overbearing pain. Being in a relationship with her like that didn't seem to matter to me as much anymore; I realized that I would be happy with her just being my friend. I would be a good friend, I would help her through the rough patch she was in and I would try to be there for her.

I would start off by walking her home.


	11. Chapter 10

"I want to show you something!"

She was looking up at me, her eyes wide and flickering with concealed excitement. I quirked an eyebrow at her, wondering what it was that could make her so jittery with energy like this.

"What…do you want to show me?" I asked slowly, trying to get the jest of where we were going by the flitter in her eye.

She smiled at me, the skin at the sides of her eyes slightly crinkling and her eyes sparkling in the afternoon light. She put her finger to her lips in a childlike manner, as if she had the secrets of the world locked away in her conscious.

"You'll know when we get there! Come on Mr. Kurosaki!"

In a quick succession she grabbed my hand and dragged me down the street, not giving me a second to think of a retort to her statement. It never ceases to amaze me how much strength she possessed. I was sure I weighed a good fifty plus pounds more than her and yet she still managed to haul me down the avenue without any signs of struggle. Although she had the strength of a body builder and was stronger than any other female I knew (besides Tatsuki), her hand still felt tender and silky like cream as it gripped my larger one. It was soft, like a pile of marshmallows, yet had a creamier than silk feeling to it. I tried to commit every detail of her hand to my memory, but her grip with mine was too short to remember every intricate feeling her hand possessed.

She bounded a few feet ahead of me as her musical voice filled my ears. I smirked a little as her nonsensical words and humming that swirled around my ears that seemed to even make the birds have a pip in their flight. After a few moments of her skipping ahead and humming, she threw me a look over her shoulder and slowed down to meet my pace. I found myself chuckling at her antics and took in the sight of the scenery we passed by to our destination. We passed by the busy avenues which bubbled over with people whom passed in and out of the stores with food, clothes, or novelty items. The air was quick, the noise loud, and the everyday bolster of the city surrounding us. A thousand voices were thrown across the city streets in every direction, a thousand scents filled the air from the bakeries and book stores and fast food stops, and a thousand faces floated along in the tumultuous rolling sea of personality.

The fast paced scenery quickly marched by and we were in a quieter, slower atmosphere. People toddled down the street toward the vast green parks and playgrounds with their children in tow. Couples were lost in their own little world of love as they grasped each other's hand and walked slowly down the street as if they were alone walking on a sandy beach. Groups of children rode their bikes and kicked their soccer balls down the sidewalk as their boisterous and rambunctious laughter added to the musical in the wind. Slowly, one by one they started to fade. The parents who took their children to the playground faded in the background, they lovers lost in their dream walked into nothingness and the biking and soccer boys speed off into the abyss.

We were now in a quiet neighborhood were only the chirps of birds and far away cries of the city were heard. I noticed that we were approaching a long corridor of apartment complexes. I was confused where we were going when the answer struck me like a semi automatic.

We were going to her apartment.

My face felt as if someone had taken a frying pan fresh off the stove and slung it onto my face. I tried to console the burning of my countenance but found it impossible to do. Maybe we weren't going to where she lived. Maybe it was just the passing scenery. That would make sense right?

Right?

"Uh-um," I cleared my throat before I continued, "Inoue where are we going?"

She clapped her hands together in her earnest and answered with much enthusiasm.

"Can't you tell by now Mr. Kurosaki! Do I have to spell it out for you? We're going to my apartment!"

I stopped dead in my tracks as my face felt as if it were on fire. I desperately wished she was just pulling my leg and in a minute would tell me that she was only kidding. I was hoping that she would say, "Mr. Kurosaki I was just kidding" but the relief of those words never came. When she noticed that I was no longer following her, she came back to where I stood with a look of unsure discontent of her face.

"Mr. Kurosaki what's wrong? Are you feeling sick? Your face is really red!"

I turned away from her in an attempt to hide the hue of my countenance. She moved to stand in front of me and I turned my head to the other side, still trying to wait until my face didn't burn so much. But she moved to stand in front of me again and this charade continued on until she grabbed my face in her hands and forced me to look at her.

Her hands were refreshingly cool on my cheeks and it felt as if they sucked away all the heat of my embarrassment. A twinge of worry and fear crossed between her eyes but an overbearing look of playfulness shone in her orbs. "Is there something wrong Mr. Kurosaki? You've been acting strange since I mentioned we were going to my apartment! Do you not want to go?"

The truth was I didn't but I did. The only other woman's home I had been to was Tatsuki's and she was like a sister to me. But with Inoue it was different. Hell, everything was different when it came to her. I didn't know how I was supposed to act. Was I supposed to just stand at the door or come in and take a seat? Was I supposed to be quiet or make conversation with her?

"Well it's not that I don't want to go-" The rest of my sentence was lost in the breeze as she grabbed my forearm and literally dragged me down the street. I tried to protest but all I could manage were sputters and stutters of her name as I helplessly tried to regain my footing.

In the split of a second we were up the stairs leading to her home and I was out of breath. I bent over to regain my breath and when I looked up I saw Inoue smiling brightly at me without the slightest hint of exhaustion.

"What are you? A track star or something?"

Her smile only brightened as she pulled out her house key and unlocked the door that led to her apartment. I stood as she opened the door and greeted me to her home in the most genial manner.

"Welcome to my apartment Mr. Kurosaki!" she said with her hands outstretched. She stepped in and without giving me a chance to turn and run she grabbed my arm and dragged me in after her.

I stood frozen by the door as she closed and locked it. A sweet smelling scent mixed with a slight mustiness of a smell I couldn't put my finger on filled my nose. I glanced around her apartment and noticed how cozy and comfortable it looked. A sofa with big fluffy cushions sat in the far side of her living area and large throw pillows and bean bag chairs covered the room. A small flat panel TV sat opposite from one of the bean bag chairs and a small desk with equally comfortable looking furniture prettied itself in the furthest corner of the room. Just looking at the furniture in the room made me want to go lie down on the largest and most comfy pillow and take a nap.

"Mr. Kurosaki take off your shoes and make yourself comfortable while I make us some tea!" she said in a quick succession before she bounded off to a room that I assumed to be the kitchen.

I slowly and uneasily slid my feet from my shoes and quietly walked over to the large couch that settled itself in the room. I sat down and discovered that the sofa was even more pliable than it looked. It felt as if the sofa was molding to my body yet supporting me at the same time. I sat back as I closed my eyes and listened to the clanking of dishes in the kitchen and the humming coming from Inoue. Soon the dishes and humming became distant and numb to my ears. I heard the whistle of a teapot but paid no mind to it.

"Mr. Kurosaki"

I must've awoke from a light sleep because when I opened my eyes I saw Inoue's face closely inspecting my own and felt her fingertips on my shoulder. I saw a flashback of when her face was this close to mine and felt the temptation to plant my lips onto hers. Her cheeks were a pink color and her eyes were luminous in the light of her apartment. That sweet smelling aroma I smelled earlier when I walked into her apartment was now entering my nose again in a fierce succession which only made the desire to kiss her flare in my being with an uncontrollable fire. My face began to inch closer towards hers and I couldn't seem to stop the inevitable from happening; that's until I saw the uncertainty and pain flash through her eyes.

I stopped as I remembered that not too long ago she was in a relationship that consumed a good portion of her life. I realized that our relationship was still fragile having been beaten down by so many obstacles and for me to kiss her would only hurt what little friendship we did have. Something deep inside of me wanted to take her in my arms and give her the warmest hug I could muster. I wanted to plant my lips on her forehead and tell her that the hurt she was feeling would soon pass and that everything would be alright. I wanted to tell her so many things but none of those things would lodge themselves from the spot in my throat.

"Here's your tea."

She handed me a cup and sat down next to me as she sipped her tea in silence. I looked at my countenance in the swirling pool of ebony. I saw the crazy tint of my hair the furrowed lines of my eyebrows. I saw the downward pull of my lips and couldn't help but wonder what she saw in me that made her even give a second glance at me. I wanted so badly to ask her, I wanted to know why she even bothered to talk to me but I couldn't seem to swallow. I quickly gulped down my tea and stared at the ceiling as I swirled the remaining liquid around in my mouth. I almost choked on the drink when Inoue spoke to me and pulled me from my daze.

"Would you like anymore tea Mr. Kurosaki?"

I quickly swallowed the access and shook my head at her.

"So what did you want to show me?"

I saw her eyes light up and she gathered up the dishes and in a second she was back, her eyes wide with excitement and the curvature of her lips wide.

"This way Mr. Kurosaki!"

She disappeared behind a corner and I stood from where I sat and followed her. When I turned on the same corner she had disappeared and I was met with a long corridor of doors.

"Inoue?"

When I heard no answer I called for her again only to hear the same echo of my own voice. I felt my eyebrows furrow and realized that she was playing a game. If she was hiding I would surely find her; it just depended on how long it took me to locate exactly where she was.

I knocked on each door and subsequently entered them. The first door I opened led to a linen closet and I quickly closed after not finding her there. I opened the next door which led me to her bathroom where I was surprised to find the counters vacant of all the cosmetic materials that I was sure she possessed. Instead, the counters were decorated with different colors and sized flowers. In fact, the whole bathroom was decorated in the same manner as the sink. I stepped inside and checked behind the shower curtain to be sure that she wasn't in here and when I was greeted with the emptiness of the shower I left and went across the hall to the next room. I discovered it was her bedroom when I saw a rather large bed that looked to be even more comfortable and inviting than the sofa in her living room. I quickly closed the door but slowly opened it again when my curiosity got the best of me. My nose was met with an assault of the same scent that was littered throughout her apartment and on her and I was tempted to jump in her bed and take a nap before I continued with my search.

I wanted so badly to lie down and take another short sleep and probably would have if I didn't feel the tap of someone's finger on my back. I jumped and turned to see Inoue standing behind me with a curious look on her face. I noticed that in the time I had been looking for her she had somehow managed to change her clothes. She wore a tie-dye shirt two sizes too big that almost covered the shorts that hugged themselves around her hips. Her arms were crossed and she carried playfulness in her eyes and spirit.

At that moment she looked so adorably cute. That same urge I had to kiss her and hold her in my arms came upon me, but I quickly suppressed it and stared at her.

"What are you doing in my room Mr. Kurosaki?"

I crossed my arms, smirked and her and answered.

"I was looking for you since you decided to play hide and seek."

She left and I quickly followed, not wanting to lose sight of her again. She led me to the last room in the hallway and opened the door and my nose was battered with that musty smell I couldn't grasp when I entered her apartment.

It was paint.

"This is what I wanted to show you Mr. Kurosaki!"

The room was wide and the overbearing smell of paint was nauseating. But what I saw was unbelievable. Scattered across the room were easels with different sceneries painted on them. One of them I saw the landscape of the ice lands and another I saw the grassy slopes of gently rolling hills. On the walls were murals, large paintings of flowers of all different kinds. On one wall I saw roses, lilies, orchids, hyacinths, poppies, pansies, daises and other types of flowers that filled the whole wall. On the opposite wall I saw a hibiscus flower that covered the whole wall. Each detail was so distinct and done in such a vivid manner that tricked my eyes. I could have sworn that I was looking at the flower itself instead of a wall. I saw her touch the wall softly as if she would bruise the pedals of the flower with her touch. A nostalgic smile crossed her face as her free hand went to the side of her head.

"This…is my favorite one."

I realized that the mural was of the hairpins that made themselves visible at the sides of her head. It was a mystery how I never noticed before. Maybe it was just such an integral part of her being that I failed to notice them.

"It's…beautiful."

_Just like you._

"It…it reminds me of…someone special to me."

She looked at me, her eyes glossed over and the look in them so familiar yet so unfamiliar and unreachable. The smile at her lips was small and her hand still gently touched the hairpin at the side of her head.

"This is the main reason I chose to move to Itabashi. This city has so much beauty and the school offers one of the best art programs in the area."

"Inoue, why didn't you ever tell me that you were an artist?"

"Because you never asked."

Her lips were curved in a playful smile and her eyes were like glitter in the afternoon light.

"Well why did you decide to show me today?" I retorted with a smirk of my own.

"I don't know, because…" she made circles on the wall as she thought what she was going to say, "….to."

With the last four syllables of her sentence she poked me in the chest to emphasize as she stepped on her tip toes so she was eye level with me. Even on the tips of her toes she was a great deal shorter than me and where her finger was jabbed into my chest heat flowed from that spot. I grabbed her hand and felt my resolve to refrain from kissing her drain from my being with every passing second. I wondered if I kissed her would she pull back and slapped me, I wondered would she instead kiss me back with the same intensity that I wanted to kiss her with. I wondered as of late how we managed to end up in these situations. I realized that I was stroking the soft skin of her hand quickly let go. I saw something akin to disappointment pass through her eyes before she quickly flashed me a bright smile.

"It…it's getting late. I think I should go."

"Aw Mr. Kurosaki you're leaving so soon you just got here!" she said with a pout on her face.

I scratched my head as I answered, "Well I don't want to be a burden or anything. I've already taken up too much of your time."

"Nonsense Mr. Kurosaki! You've been nothing but entertaining and I don't mind you taking up any of my time."

She grabbed my wrist and led me out into the living room toward all of the cozy bean bag chairs and throw pillows. "You like to play games don't you Mr. Kurosaki?"

I nodded yes as she took out a game console and began hooking all the compartments up. I sat down on one of the mushy chairs and looked to the ceiling.

There were so many questions still unanswered that I wanted to know from her, so many things I still wanted to get off my chest and one thing that I really wanted to do, but I settled for being in her company and playing games for the rest of the day and into the evening.

"You ready to get beat Mr. Kurosaki?"

"Only in your dreams Inoue."


	12. Chapter 11

"What city did you grow up in?"

We were on a hilltop, lying in the soft fuzzy grass that swayed in the light breeze of the day. My hands were placed behind my head and she was lying on her side as she fingered the tender grass between us. We had been lying there for a while when I asked her. I don't know what possessed me to do so though. Usually it was her that asked me a question about my past and soon we would share each other's experiences but the inquiry bubbled in my head and out of my mouth. I turned to look at her to see her with a small smile at her lips and her eyelashes touching the beginning of her cheeks.

"Toshima, Tokyo."

Her reply drifted pass my ears in the light zephyr and she opened her eyes to reveal a softness and nostalgic love that took my breath away. She closed her eyes again and sighed in the clean air around us as she continued to fiddle with the grass.

"It…was just me and my brother. My parents weren't the greatest role models. They were unfaithful, fought until the point of violence, and went on drug binges that could last for weeks. My brother was sick of it. He didn't want me to be abused by them as he had been. All I remember of them are the violence and language. Sometimes their fury would spill over and they would attack me or my brother."

She kept a small smile on her face and a softness about her voice as she talked.

"How old were you?"

She shrugged her shoulders before she answered. "I don't know five or six maybe? An age that a child should be nurtured by their parents, not beaten and battered by. When my brother was old enough he took me away. It wasn't as difficult as I expected. I thought they would fight for me, that they would go to the courts to seek custody but they did nothing of the sort. They handed me and their legal rights over without so much as a goodbye. They called my brother and I names, saying that he wouldn't be able to raise me right.

* * *

_The girl's frame was small as she stood behind the much larger body of her brother's. She grasped onto his hand for dear life, thinking that if she let go they would drag her back into that house, back into that place to do horrible things to her, to beat her, to hurt her any way they could. _

"_Take the little sult. I don't care what you do with her." _

_The female's voice was caustic and biting, her eyes holding a vehemence toward the child that was unjustifiable. _

"_Mother! Don't you say that about Orihime, she's done nothing for you to be calling her names!" _

_The child crouched more behind the tall frame of her brother as the name calling began. So many words were thrown at her, so many that she couldn't grasp the meaning of. But one thing she did know was that those words were filled with hate. A hate that made her eyes wide with fear and made her want to cower down and say sorry; she didn't know what to apologize for but whatever she had done must have been unforgivable._

"_Take that stupid snkak! Don't come crying back to me when she grows up to be a wohre who'll fcuk anything she sees! Don't come back!" _

_He covered the little girl's ears but it was a second too late. The foreign words had already entered her hearing canals and burned in her brain. Tears welled up in her eyes as they met with her mother's. Those eyes she possessed were those devoid of love and concern. They were bubbling over with resentment and hate for the child she had birthed. _

_The older brother took the little girl into his arms and left. He tried to console the girl with his gentle words and kind promises. He told her that she would grow up to be a great person, that she would be the best mother on earth. He told her that what their mother said meant nothing. That she was mad at the path her life had taken and felt it necessary to put the blame on someone else. _

_And she listened and clung to his words for dear life. _

_She clung and she hoped._

* * *

I turned toward her as I listened intently to what she told me. How could a mother ever say something like that to a child? She hadn't done anything to deserve her wrath and yet she received it without reason or logic.

"My mother wasn't well mentally. After years of drug binges they had finally taken a toll on her psychological state. She needed something, someone to blame for all the hardships she had been faced with. And instead of realizing that it was herself she should blame everything on, she instead took all her anger and frustration out on me, when my brother wasn't available."

"Do you hate her?" I found myself asking as I stared intently at her calm expression.

"For a while I really wanted to. I wanted to hate her with every part of my being and throw back all those words she pitched at me. But I couldn't find it anywhere in my heart to possess such a negative feeling towards her. I couldn't find the hate I searched for and instead found an overwhelming sense of sympathy and love. She had treated me bad but I couldn't help but love her and feel for her because I knew she was going through something greater than she could handle. She was my mother after all; there will always be a bond between a mother and daughter, no matter how weak it may be."

She shivered lightly as a breeze whisked by and I instinctively grabbed her arm to quell her quakes. My hand felt cool on her skin as her body greedily sucked in the warmth it offered. Her arm possessed that creamy silky feeling her hands did but was so much softer than I imagined. She slightly opened her eyes to reveal a tenderness that I had never been privy to. They shined bright in the sun yet were so mellow and comfortable that I could sleep in her gaze. She closed her eyes as her soft voice filled my ears again.

"My brother found us a nice little apartment and that's where I grew up. Each day after school I would wait for him. Standing in the spot he told me to and not moving an inch. In the beginning I was afraid that if I even breathed too loud he would get mad and hurt me. But he didn't. He would just smile at me, say his kind words, and take me into his arms."

* * *

_The girl stood rigidly by the building staring at her feet as she tried to remain perfectly still. When she lived with her mother and father, if she even tripped they would beat her. They would tell her how much of a failure she was, how she would amount to nothing. Those habits of strict obedience followed her even after her brother took her away from their wrath. She thought that if she moved from the spot he told her to be in he would beat her with the same intensity and anger; that he too would call her names and tell her of the nothing she would become. _

_But he did none of those things. He chuckled lightly and told her that she didn't have to stand so rigid and straight with her eyes so downcast. She was shocked at his words. Shocked that he would let her move around and play in the snow or make silly pictures with her feet. _

"_You won't hurt me?" she asked, her voice light, wary, and weak. _

"_Of course I won't Orihime! I would never hurt you. I'm not going to be like them. I'll make sure to treat you a million times better." _

_He bent down and pulled her into a tight hug as he mussed her hair. "I'll swear to you Orihime, I'll always be here to protect you. I'll never let any harm come your way. That's what a big brother is supposed to do."_

* * *

"When we lived with our parents I rarely drew and when I did I had to keep my sessions short. But living with my brother I couldn't help but to draw. I was so happy and excited. I had freedom. I could play with the other kids in the neighborhood and at school. I didn't have to tip toe around the house, and I could draw until I fell asleep at night. I think it was him that got me so engulfed into the world of art because without his positive reinforcement in my life I think I never would have gotten so involved in it."

* * *

"_Orihime you drew that?" he said as his larger frame hunched over her smaller one. _

_She shook her head with much enthusiasm as she held the picture up to his face. He was genuinely surprised with her talent and saw that she had drawn herself and him holding hands. The picture was simple and rough around the edges but his heart was filled with such a pride for his sister. He saw the little details that made the picture stand out, the emotions and hard work she had put into the work. And to think she was only a child and possessed so much talent. _

"_This…this is wonderful Orihime. Can you show me more of your artwork? _

_She shook her head vehemently as she ran into the other room, happily searching for other pictures she had drawn. With her brother and the warmth of his love and his encouraging words she was finally happy._

_Happy._

* * *

"Your brother seems like a wonderful person. I bet he was ecstatic when you told him you were going to art school wasn't he?"

A small yet sad smile crossed her face and she opened her eyes to reveal regret and an overbearing sense of pain.

"My brother never got to hear that I was going to art school. He never even got to see me enter high school. He…he died in my second year of junior high."

Her words were so calm and normal as if she was talking about coffee but they also seemed shaky to my ears, as if in any second she would break down into tears.

"Wh-what happened to him?" I asked, my voice coming across as a soft whisper.

"He-he was shot and killed. He was shot because he decided to take a shortcut home and someone mugged and shot him. It had to be the day that he gave me a gift didn't it? It was like he was saying goodbye and neither of us knew it."

* * *

_Orihime there's something I want to give you!" he said, his dark eyes crinkling as his smile lit up his entire countenance. _

_Her face lit up as she looked at her brother with wonder, love, and excitement. He pulled from behind his pack a small velvety box and placed it in her small hands. She quickly opened the box and almost cried. Inside the box were two small hairpins of a lavender hue. They sparkled in the apartment light and in her eyes were the best gift anyone had ever gotten for her. She wanted to hug her brother senseless. She wanted to tell him what a blessing he had been in her life. She wanted to tell him that she loved him with all her heart, that she never took his kindness and sincerity for granted. She wanted to say so many things to him but all she managed was a tearful 'thank you' and 'I love you'. _

_She gave him a hug and put the hairpins in her hair before she smiled at him and wished his day well. _

_That would be their final goodbye._

_When she heard that her brother had been shot, she bolted from the classroom. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her to the hospital. Her body began to ache from such stress placed upon it but she paid no attention. She felt the tears sting at her eyes but willed them away. Their last moments repeated over and over in her head. His smile, his eyes, his gift, his warmth. Her speed picked up and before she knew it she was in at the ER desk of the hospital, out of breath trying desperately to keep her sanity. _

"_Where is he?" she yelped, her voice shaky and unstable. _

_The nurse looked at her, confusion seeping in through her eyebrows and spreading to the rest of her face._

"_Where is my brother!" she yelled as her body convulsed from repressed sobs. _

_In the corner of her eye she saw the doors of the ER swing open as a nurse entered. She saw the head of her brother on a stretcher being covered by a white sheet and her whole world shattered. They tried to hold her back, but the girl was much stronger than her small frame appeared. She blitzed through them and entered the hallway toward her brother. She kicked, screamed, punched, and clawed her way through the nurses and doctors that tried to keep her away until she finally broke free and met with her brother in the dark room where they placed him. _

_She heaved when she took the sheet away from him to reveal his broken and battered frame. Bruises covered his face and in his chest she saw the hollowness of flesh. She cried as her body shook and her sanity splintered. She repeated his name as her knees gave from under her and she grabbed the sheet that covered him. The nurses came in and tried to drag her away from his corpse but her grip was strong on the sheet and bed. She refused to be moved from his body and they temporarily gave up, allowing her one last moment with her brother before she would bid farewell. She sat there for God knows how long reminiscing on the time spent with her brother. He was her best friend. He was her savior away from that hell; her companion. Now that companion was gone and she was left to deal with the hardships of life by herself._

_Alone._

* * *

"In the apartment I made a shrine for him. I would pray for him each day. I would tell him the daily stressors of my life and how my day went as if he was still there listening intently to everything I said. I promised myself that I wouldn't let his death bring me down. I told myself that I had already shed enough tears and that he would have wanted to see me happy. After his death I went on a binge. I started drawing all the time, whether it was at home at school or at work. Art was like my drug. It was my outlet. It was the only thing I could do that would make me think of my brother without being consumed into that realm of darkness and depression. I always seemed to draw the hairpins he gave me. I always worked for days on one picture making every little intricate detail perfect, making it as real as I could."

I listened to her soft words and soon enough found my hand wrapped around hers. She was so strong, so brave to carry on with a smile on her face and that brightness in her eyes. I realized why I had come to like her so much, why I was attracted to her like a moth is to a flame when I knew it was a losing battle. In her actions, her smiles, her voice even; it reminded me of her.

She reminded me of my mother.

"What was your brother's name?" I asked as my hand softly stroked hers.

"Sora. Sora-oniisan. He…was my sky, my protector."

I placed my forehead against hers as a slight heat rose to my cheeks but I ignored it. "I bet you were the light of his life. I bet you were the one thing that kept him going even when he wanted to give up. He might have been your sky but I bet you were his sun."

My hand released hers and began making its way to her face. It stroked the soft skin it touched and when she opened her eyes they held such an undeniable sincerity and tenderness in them. My lips met hers and she didn't refuse my touch. Instead she pressed her lips against mine and gave me the courage to continue. My hand left her face and intertwined itself with her hand as my chest hovered over hers. Her lips were just as soft as I remembered and her touch set fire to every part of my body her fingertips came in contact with. Her hands became entangled in my mess of hair and she gently massaged my scalp. In a seconds time my tongue met with hers and we engaged in a battle of dominance, fighting to see who would be victor. She played with me, leading me in circles with her tongue, keeping me guessing on the action she would take next. Her tongue was tender yet firm against my own and dominated the taste that her whole canal possessed. Her teasing, playful, tongue had my head reeling and a fire began to ignite in my veins. I fought though, stroking my larger tongue against her smaller one until I had her under sweet submission. We parted from the loss of breath and when I saw the look in her eyes I wanted to delve into her mouth again, to savor that sweet tangy taste she carried.

"Kurosaki-kun…" she whispered so softly that I almost didn't hear.

"What happened to Mr. Kurosaki?" I asked as the pads of her thumbs massaged my neck.

She shrugged then answered. "I don't know. I think Kurosaki-kun is cuter than Mr. Kurosaki," she giggled before she continued, "besides, didn't you say I didn't have to be so formal?"

I chuckled as I brought the warmth of her body closer to mine. "I guess I did, know didn't I?"

I was going to say something else but my voice was lost to me. I didn't need it anyhow right now. Her soft hands played around my collar and hairline and the warmth of her body was close to mine. I closed my eyes and snuggled my head into the heat her neck possessed and fell asleep.

Into a peaceful blissful sleep.


	13. Chapter 12

"Ohh, Kurosaki-kun Tanabata is only a month away!"

The zephyr whispered softly and carried the distance voices of children to our ears. Gently rolling hills of green surrounded us and the large trees played the wind's melody through their arms. We were sitting under one of these musical trees eating a lunch that Inoue had prepared. When she first presented the food to me I remembered her eccentric style of eating and tried to come up with any excuse to not eat it. But when she forcibly stuffed the delicacy into my mouth, I discovered it was rather good although my stomach lurched when she told me the contents.

"I know." I replied as I stuffed another piece of food into my mouth.

"So are you going to do something for the festival?" she asked as she peered around at my face.

At the corner of her mouth, she had a small piece of food on her face and she peered up at me with that unusual yet usual luminosity running through her eyes. Half her face was shaded from the sun but the part of her countenance that was exposed to the brightness of the day shone so brightly that I felt blinded. I shrugged and looked away from her gentle stare. The truth was I really didn't want to talk about anything related to festivals or public events for the whole month. I didn't want to talk about the coming of Tanabata and deal with the memories that would always resurface. I didn't want to deal with the heartache I would feel in a couple days time, or the guilt that would permeate my soul only a week and a half later. I just wanted to sit quietly in the park and eat lunch or lock myself up in my apartment for the whole month.

"Kurosaki-kun are you alright?" she asked as she gently plucked away the empty lunchbox from my hands. Her eyes were filled with a hint of discontent and concern and her lips were puckered in a downward fashion. How was it so easy for her to immediately tell that something was awry when I never said anything? To everyone else the simply wouldn't notice because my face was always hardened, but with her it was like she could sense that something was not alright. It would be so easy to tell her what was bothering me; to tell her that for the whole month all I wanted to do was go into my apartment and not come out. I should tell her what happened; after all she did share her memories about her brother with me. But the words in my throat stayed there, they refused to spew from my mouth and I just shook my head and looked away from the unease in her eyes.

She took my head in her hand and turned my face back towards her, forcing me to look at the distress that covered her face. Her soft hand stroked the side of my face and tweaked my ear as her eyes darted from my eyes to my lips. I felt a slight blush rise to my face as she stared intently at me and her hand dropped to the hem of my shirt. We had been dating for a month and a half and I still wasn't used to her little displays of affection. Her touch was always feathery light and would leave my skin tingling where it had been.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but her supple finger against my lips effectively silenced me. She kissed the corner of my mouth and snuggled into my shoulder as her fingers laced with mine.

"You don't have to say anything. You can tell me whatever is bothering you when you're ready."

"But I was just going to ask what time it is." I quipped back rather quickly. Her soft frame softly bounced against mine as her giggles filled my ear. "…Ah…thanks Inoue," I said as I gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

She was always so understanding and wouldn't jump to conclusions when I didn't feel like telling her something. She didn't try to pry into uncharted territory and force information out of me. She waited patiently until I would tell her what would be troubling me. She would listen intently to me as if my words held the meaning of everything and would always flash me that smile she possessed.

For that, I was eternally grateful.

I sighed as her soft giggles subsided and looked to the sky to see an ambience of blue hovering overhead. She softly stroked my hand as the chirps of birds filled my ears and the edges of my vision blurred and slowly darkened. Soon that gentle darkness consumed my vision and I felt the ever so tender stroking of Inoue's thumb, the musical zephyr, and the birds singing away in the air.

* * *

"_Come on Ichigo."_

_The young boy was easily side tracked by the vast array of colors that smeared themselves against the horizon. How could he not be? The soft pinks and vibrant red's were enough to make him stare at the sky for hours if he was allowed. When he heard the sweet melody of his mother's voice float to his ears he looked in her direction at his family that waited patiently for him. He saw one of his sisters perched atop their father's shoulders, looking at him with wide dark eyes. His father carried a brave and knowing smile upon his face as his hand was laced with his second sister's hand who stood patiently waiting on her brother's return to her side. _

_And then he saw his mother. _

_Her wavy hair floated down her back and her eyes had a luminosity about them that made his heart melt when he would look at them. Her slender arm was extended in his direction as she waited patiently with a bright smile upon her face. He smiled the biggest smile he could muster at her and ran to her side, grasping her hand with pride as they continued their way to the festival grounds. _

"_You look very nice in your yukata Ichigo." She looked upon him with loving eyes as he beamed at her, his whole countenance lighting up as he looked at her. _

_His mother was the light of his life, the sun that washed out the darkness. He loved her with every fiber of his soul and would die protecting her. That was his namesake right? He who protects. He would protect her with everything he had._

"_Thank you Mom."_

"_Happy birthday!"_

_He was a little older but his hair still held that same tangerine tint. The curvature of his lips were wide and his eyes beamed with the light that was only reserved for her eyes to see. In his hands he held a small gift that he had put his heart and soul into finding for her, something that to anyone else would have meant nothing, but meant the world to the both of them. _

"_Oh, this is for me?" she asked, surprise enveloping her voice. _

"_Of course! It's your birthday isn't it? You're supposed to get gifts!" _

_She chuckled at his statement and almost cried when she saw the present the little box held. When the young boy saw tears brimming in her eyes, worry and distraught filled his delicate features. His mother didn't like it. She was crying because of him. _

_But her actions betrayed the thoughts that swirled around in his head. She lunged out to him, embracing his body as she controlled the sobs that threatened to lurch out. 'That boy' she thought, was the sweetest young man she had ever come to know. Not only did he put thought into the gift but he must have diligently saved up his allowance to pay for it also. He gave her a bracelet made from flowers of every different kind. She vaguely remembered telling him about her love affair with florets but she didn't realize that he would remember an offside comment like that. _

_After hugging him she stared at his face for a while, her smile growing as she did so. In her eyes, he was most handsome boy that she had seen in her years. She kissed him on his forehead and smiled deeply when something akin to a squeak left his mouth. _

"_How long did you save up for this Ichigo?" _

_He shrugged his shoulders as he began to teeter on the balls of his feet. "I don't know but it was a long time! I mowed everyone's yard in the neighborhood too!" he said as he flailed his arms in the air. He brought them back down to his sides and this time spoke in a much quieter, softer tone. "B-but you like it right?"_

_She nodded her head at him, the sides of her eyes crinkling and shining like the sun in the light of the room. His eyes lit up as well as he gave her the warmest hug he could muster._

"_I love you Mom." _

"_Here honey it'll help."_

_The boy sat up in bed as his brain pounded relentlessly into his ears and his nose ran to no end. He looked up to see his mother with that smile on her face and tried as best he could to smile at her but all he could muster was a weak twitch of his lips. She chuckled lightly at him and tweaked his ear as she set the articles of food in front of him. _

"_Thanks Mom." _

_His voice was raspy and weak from a night of fretful coughing but he chose to speak anyway. He hated being sick. He hated having to miss school and being imprisoned to his bed all day. But one thing he loved about being under the weather was the fact that he got to spend time with his mother. She would always greet him with warm smiles and soup that would make his throat feel better. She would always sit with him and tell him stories until he fell asleep or would rustle his hair. _

_She spoiled him, but not with material things. She spoiled him with her warm smile and love. _

_She spoiled him silly._

'_It's my fault' he thought as the pellets of ran beat down on his face. He felt nauseous, a sickly nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him want to cry. _

"_Mom wake up, wake up Mom!" he said, a desperate plea in his voice. He shook her arm to try to wake her from her slumber but she continued to sleep. He heard a sickening crack come from inside of her body and began to scream for help. He screamed until he vocal chords yelled in pain but shouted anyway. There could still be hope, she could still be saved. _

"_Mom please! Wake up please wake up!" his voice was shaky and on the verge of being lost. He turned her on her back and saw the way that her rib cage and chest didn't look right. There were lumps in places they shouldn't have been and he didn't see that steady rhythm of her chest going up and down. He screamed her name, screamed for help; he screamed because he was so helpless. Wasn't his name Ichigo? Wasn't he the one who protects? How could he bear such a name and not be able to protect the one person that meant the world to him? _

_How could he be called Ichigo when he couldn't even protect her life?_

_The tears unleashed themselves from his eyes as he slumped over on her lifeless body. His tears mixed in with the salt of the rain and his sobs resounded with the thunder in the sky. 'It's all my fault!' he thought as he gripped her clothes. If he hadn't walked to close to the steep slope of the jagged cliff this would've never happened. If he hadn't lost his footing and went falling she never would lunged after him. If he was stronger, bigger, she never would've used her own body to shield his fragile frame from the boulders that lay below. This would have never happened. She wouldn't be lying lifeless on the wet ground and he wouldn't be crying over her broken body. _

_If…if only…_

_A light shined down in his direction but he payed no mind to it. He was only concerned with the ifs of what happened and the guilt that consumed his heart. He didn't hear the concerned yells of the person that had come to help. He also didn't realize that someone pried him away from his mother's body. He was oblivious to the parka that was wrapped around his body and the gentle words that were spoken into his ear._

_He was only concerned with the events that led up to his mother's death. He was only concerned with one fact that made his whole body quiver and his sanity shake._

_His mother was dead and he was the cause of it. _

_H-e threw up._

* * *

I awoke with a start as the memories flooded my mind. My heart palpitated in my chest and I felt as if I would heave up the contents of my stomach any second. I felt a chill run down my spine as I closed my eyes and that scene flashed before my eyes.

_Ichigo!_

"Kurosaki-kun?"

I snapped my head in the direction of that voice, thinking that the tone I heard was my mother's; but it wasn't. It was Inoue. Her eyes were filled with troubled hysteria and I saw a silent quiver of her lips. Was she really that concerned over my well-being that my distress caused her to worry so much as well?

"W-what? Nothing's wrong, I'm-I'm ok." I said trying to ease the fret I saw bouncing between her eyes.

"No you're not," she retorted quickly, "Your eyes say that you're not ok, a-and your shaking."

I looked down at my hand to realize that it was still intertwined with hers but had an uncontrollable quiver to it.

"You're in pain," she said slowly as her voice cracked. I saw her lips form to speak again but nothing came from her mouth. Instead I felt her squeeze my hand lightly and stroke the pad of her thumb against the top of my hand. I could see the hurt brimming in her eyes of not knowing. The pain she felt to know that I was troubled and there was nothing she could to end what was troubling my heart. I wanted to tell her so badly but my throat was dry. I could barely swallow the saliva that felt thick like molasses let alone talk.

"I'll walk you home," I managed to rasp out before my throat closed up again. She ducked her head and nodded as she stood and began to gather up our lunch items. I took the little items and tried smiling at her but my lips just twitched. We walked to her apartment in complete silence. Just thinking about what happened made my heart ache. It made my heart hurt to think about her smile, to think about how she used to show me that smile she saved only for my eyes to witness. It made my heart break in two when I thought about her body lying battered like it was. It made the guilt of what happened come back into full swing. It made me think of how helpless I was to save her.

It made me think of how I failed her.

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by supple fingers prying the items I held from my hands. I mindlessly watched as she unlocked the door to her apartment and went inside. I figured that she didn't feel like talking to me when I acted like a zombie and began to turn and make my leave. I stopped when I heard her yell stop and call my name. I turned and was almost knocked to the ground as Inoue threw her lithe but strong frame against mine. She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck as her warm erratic breath permeated through my shirt. I hugged her back and couldn't help but love the way her body seemed to meld and conform to my own. I felt her place a chaste kiss upon the lower nape of my neck and she looked up to reveal her bright eyes and wide smile. She kissed both corners of my mouth before kissing me on the lips. Her lips were soft against mine and before I had the chance to deepen it she gently pulled away and meandered herself from my arms. She smiled brightly at me, waved farewell, and returned to her apartment.

I stood dumbfounded wondering what happened before I felt a smirk burst onto my face. I didn't know why I was smiling, but it was just something about her that made me want to smile. With just a hug and kiss she managed to temporarily bring me from my depressing thoughts. She was…special in a way I couldn't explain. To say the least she wasn't like any woman I had ever met in my adult life.

* * *

"_Ichigo do you know the reason we celebrate Tanabata?" _

"_Of course I know! We celebrate the meeting of Orihime and Hikoboshi!" the boy said happily as he walked besides his mother. _

_She smiled that smile at him as he grabbed her hand. _

"_Well yes that's one reason but do you know the other reason?" _

_The boy scrunched his nose, trying in his earnest to think of another reason why they celebrated 'The Evening of the Seventh.' When he could find no further motive he shook his head no. _

"_We celebrate the love they shared. They had such an unbreakable bond that it made the Earth weep when they were separated. The love they shared transcended time itself." _

_The boy stared up at her with awe inspired wonder as she elaborated. She stopped her walk down the boulevard and crouched in front of the young tangerine as she looked into his chocolate depths._

"_Ichigo when you grow up I want you to find a love like that. I want you to find your very own 'Orihime,'" she tweaked his ear and rustled his hair before she continued; "Can you be happy for my sake? Can you do that for me?" _

_He shook his head purposefully, his heart full of resolve. She stood and latched onto his hand as they continued their descent to the festival. _

"_Make your wish Ichigo"_

_It was later in the evening and they were by the river were the bamboo wishes were being set out. The boy took a piece of paper and illegibly wrote his wish before sticking it in the bamboo, hoping that God, the river, or whoever could make it come true._

_The words scribbled on the slip of paper:_

_I wish to have a wife that is like my Mother._

* * *

_The boy had been standing there for hours silently crying to himself, berating himself for not having the strength to save his mother. He didn't think that he'd ever meet someone else like her, that he'd meet someone who could cheer him up with a smile and a teasing of his ear. He didn't think that he'd ever met someone who could make him feel so special like his mother had done. _

_He felt a strong hand upon his shoulder and looked up to see his father standing there, a limp cigarette in his mouth. He smiled down at his son, a sad yet hopeful smile on his face. His son frowned, his face scrunching up to the point where the tears that were still in his eyes blurred his vision. How could his father smile at a time like this? How could he smile knowing that he would never see his wife again? How could he smile when she wouldn't be there anymore? _

"_Ichigo…" the dark haired man began, "Do…do you know what Misaki use to say about you?" _

_He looked away from his eyes and turned his vision toward the tombstone that held his mother's name. _

"_She always used to say how much of a brave boy you are. She used to say that you had so much love and affection and the will to protect in your heart. She used to tell me, "Ichigo's my little warrior, my little fighter." _

_His vision blurred even more and his body racked from compresses sobs. Memories of his mother flooded his mind. Memories of her smile, her love, the warmth her arms and eyes brought to his soul. _

"_She's probably turning in her grave seeing you like this Ichigo. You know that she would never want to see you in so much pain like this. You know it would break her heart to see you feeling so guilty like this Ichigo." _

"_But…but…it's" the boy started, feeling the guilt bombard his heart, "It's my…It's my fault!" he lurched out before his cries racked his body. He truly believed it was his own doing that made his mother just another body in the ground; another spirit watching in the sky. He promised himself that he wouldn't cry anymore. He promised that he would become strong so that this would never happen to anyone dear to him again. He promised himself a thousand promises, but as he stood their crying he couldn't help but think that he would break them all. _

"_It's not your fault Ichigo." His father said as he lit the cigarette in his mouth. "Masaki…your mother, gave her life to protect you. She knew what would happen when she saved you. Be happy that you had such a strong woman as your mother. Don't think of the bad, just think of the good." He took a long drag of his cigarette before he continued. "Don't break the promise you made to her Ichigo."_

"_What promise was that?" he asked, his voice hoarse and shaky. _

"_Your promise to be happy; to find your very own 'Orihime'; I don't think either of us could ever face Masaki if you didn't."_

* * *

When I showed up, I knew she would think I was out of my mind. It was what twelve in the morning and I would be arriving at her door with a stupid look on my face? I shook my head trying to rid those thoughts from my mind to keep my resolve strong. If I didn't go now, I don't know how long it would be until I built my resolve up to tell her. It wasn't an easy subject for me to talk about my mother to anyone; not even to my own father who knew her better than me. I took purposeful long strides down the vacant avenue and before I could catch my breath I was face to face with her door.

I raised my hand to knock but fell short. What was I doing? It was in the early hours of the morning and I was her at her house. To anyone of a carnal mind it would look as if I was at her apartment for sex; but that was the furthest thing from my mind. I just wanted to talk to her and I felt that if I didn't get it off my chest now, I would never get the chance again. I knocked loud and hard on the door to make sure that she heard me. I heard a loud thump in her apartment followed my muffled grumbling and nervously chuckled. I heard her feet sluggishly sloughing to the door and my heart constricted. How would she act? Would she yell at me to go home or would she shout at me for waking her up in the wee hours of the morning?

I didn't have any more time to ponder on what she would do because she opened the door. Her hair was a bit frazzled and her eyes were groggy with sleep but still seemed to hold a light that simply couldn't be turned off. She wore another tie-dye tee shirt that was too big and a pair of pajama pants. With the disheveled manner of her hair and clothes I couldn't help but think that she looked adorable.

"Uh, h-hi Inoue."

"Oh Kurosaki-kun! What are you doing here? Are we having a sleepover?" she asked, her voice slurred with sleep.

"N-no, I just came over to…I came to, to…"I trailed off then bowed my head, "…can I just talk to you for a little, I swear it'll be less than ten minutes and I'll leave."

I expected her to shut the door in my face and looked up when I didn't hear her berating me or the door slam in my face. Instead she opened it a litte wider to allow me entrance into her apartment as a small smile spread across her countenance. I stood there a moment with a speechless look plastered onto my face. I half expected her to turn me down and when she didn't I couldn't help but think she had to be the nicest woman I had ever come to know.

"Are you going to stand out there all night Kurosaki-kun? You're letting all the warm air in and cold out."

I snapped out of my thoughts at her slightly berating words. She still wore that smile but now it seemed as if she was also smiling at me with her eyes. I stepped across the threshold of her apartment and was met with a refreshing breeze of cool air.

"I'll make tea," she said as she whisked by me. But before she could completely remove herself from the room I grabbed her wrist to stop her descent towards the kitchen.

"Y-you don't have to," I said as I shook my head in a negative fashion before I continued, "My mother…she-she died."

Her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates while fret and worry consumed her demeanor. "When did this happen? What happened to her? Are-"

"She died over ten years ago Inoue." I said before her tirade of worry could continue. "How about we sit? It'd be much easier that way."

I offered her a smile but I don't know how well that turned out. We took a seat on her sofa and she softly stroked my hand as I began to reminisce about my mother and the circumstances involving her death.

* * *

_The boy was in his teenage years now and it seemed as if the tint of his hair became more outlandish and bright. The boy slouched slightly as a scowl was deeply embedded into his lips and his eyebrows permanently furrowed. His hands were roughly stuffed into the pockets of his school uniform that at the moment looked as disheveled as he. He walked down the avenue and saw a mother holding the hand of a young child. A memory of his own mother flashed before his eyes and his heart twisted inside his chest but his face remained as stoic and expressionless as it had been. _

_In a second's time he saw a dark figure zip by him and heard the cry of the child that wasn't even ten feet away from him. Once he realized that the mugger had stolen the mother's purse he took off after him, his long strides making him catch up in a matter of seconds. He tackled the man from behind and proceeded to knock him out. He easily took the purse from the man's hold and jogged down the street back to the woman and her young child. He knew that he himself had to look like a thief or something with the way his clothes were astray but he didn't pay it any mind. He handed the purse back to the woman and was surprised when she roughly snatched it from him and glared at him as she held her child close to her body. She turned and hurriedly walked away from him without as much as a 'thank you.'_

_He growled deep in his throat at the cynicism the woman held toward him. She acted as if he would steal the purse from her and possibly hurt her child based on his facial features and the tint of his hair. He scoffed as he turned the other way and continued his descent toward his home. He was used it by now. The stares he would attract from strangers on the street, the whispers they would speak. He heard but he simply didn't care what they thought. The little boy who always used to smile and would always hold the hand of his mother was long gone. Instead, in that boy's place was a young man who scowled at every person that looked his way and would snap if two of the wrong words were spoken to him. He didn't care about their reactions or what they would say behind his back. He didn't care that he had a reputation as being the most unapproachable guy at his school; he simply didn't care. _

_He didn't care about much these days._

* * *

By the time I had finished telling her what happened my head had somehow slouched to the point that it was now lying in her lap as she softly ran her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes as she did that, reveling in the way her fingers felt against my scalp.

"My…my mom was my whole world; she was my whole family's world. It's like we revolved around the light she used to shine on our lives; it's like she was the sun and we were the planets that couldn't help be attracted to her." I took in a deep breath of air before I continued. "When she died everything changed. All the roles of our family changed. One of my sisters became like my mother, taking up the chores of the house. My other sister was never good at housework or cooking so she helped by never being a problem. Before my mother died she would always cry and find herself in some sort of problem with that smart tongue of hers. But after, she would never cry and always kept to herself and kept her mouth shut to stay out of trouble."

"What happened to you? How did you change?"

I leaned into her touch as her nimble fingers roamed freely across my scalp. "When I was younger I had always been weak. In karate class I would lose to Tatsuki on the first hit; always. I decided that I would be strong, that I would no longer lose a fight; not to Tatsuki, not to anyone. I trained hard to become strong, to grasp the strength I wanted; I had to, I had become second in command at home and I had to protect my family come hell and high water. After all, it was my fault that she died in the first place."

I felt her hands stop threading themselves through my hair and I opened my eyes to see her face contorted into what looked to be disbelief.

"It wasn't your fault," she said, her tone slightly clipped, "she gave her life to protect you Kurosaki-kun. Shouldn't you be happy with that simple fact?"

I raised my body from her lap and glared at the wall as the picturesque of her broken body played through my mind. "No I shouldn't be happy! I stole that sun from our family! I should have been the one who protected her! If I hadn't walked so close to the edge of that stupid road none of this would've happened!"

"Have you ever thought on what your mother was thinking when she saved you Kurosaki-kun?" she said it so soft that I almost didn't hear. "Have you ever thought how she would feel if you died knowing that she could've stopped it from happening? She knew what would happen when she saved you; she knew the consequences. But she didn't back down. She didn't throw you away to save herself. I-I don't think she would be able to move on knowing that she could've saved you and didn't. I think she wanted you to live a full life. To experience the things she had already come to know. She wanted you to live and that's why she gave her life to save yours. Instead of feeling guilty, you should feel proud because your mother did such a selfless thing to save you. You should honor your mother by living the life she would want for you and not getting stuck on her death and the guilt you feel about it. You can't live life on the 'what ifs' Kurosaki-kun. Because when you start doing that you never really live at all."

I turned to look at her and saw a look of complete sincerity and honesty shining through her irises. She smiled at me and for a moment I saw my mother sitting on that couch, her honey hair falling in waves around her shoulders and back. I saw her creamy brown eyes smiling at me as her hands were gently, yet elegantly placed in her lap. I saw her smile that shone through like the sun and heard her soft voice pass over my ears.

_Can you be happy for my sake? Can you do that for me?_

I blinked and saw Inoue sitting there. One of her legs tucked under the other with a tender smile on her face.

"What are you doing for Tanabata Inoue?"

She shrugged her shoulders as a soft playfulness bounced in her eyes.

"I don't know, whatever you're doing Kurosaki-kun."

I laid my head back into her lap and closed my eyes as a smirk crept onto my face.

"I guess we're going to the festival then, huh?"

I don't know how long I stared at the lone picture I had of her, but it must have been long enough for me to reminisce over every memory I had of her. I closed my eyes and smiled as I remembered the feeling I used to get every time she would smile at me or when she would rustle my hair. I couldn't help but feel a pride consume my heart when I remembered her praise for the first time I managed to get a hit in against Tatsuki in one of our fights. I couldn't help but feel her love when I remembered how warm and comforting her eyes were.

When I opened my eyes again and stared at the picture of her I couldn't help but feel as if she was still there, smiling so gently and lovingly at me; giving me that smile that she only reserved for me. I set the picture down and lit a candle on either side of it as I silently spoke.

"Hey mom…long time no see huh?" I chuckled nervously as I opened my eyes to peer at her smiling picture before my vision blackened out again. "A-a lot has changed since we last talked. I-I have a girlfriend now. Her name is Orihime, Inoue Orihime. She's really pretty, has a smile that could light up the city, and one of the most beautiful set of eyes I've ever seen. I really like being around her too. She's not like the other's mom. She doesn't get scared when she looks at me and isn't condescending at all. She talks to me like a regular person and… S-she thinks I'm cute; can you believe that?" I chuckled before I continued, "s-she reminds me of you sometimes." I looked at the picture again, half expecting for it to reply. But when it didn't I smiled and went back to talking, "I-I think I'm a bit happier these days. I mean, compared to last year I have to say that this year is an improvement. I published another book. It's doing great and I already have ideas for another story. I haven't gotten into any fights and I'm learning how to not snap at people when I'm in a bad mood. I-I hope you are doing good and peaceful wherever you are. I-I love you mom."

For a second I thought I heard her reply whisk pass my ears. I could've sworn that I heard her sweet melodic voice pass those five words back over my hearing canals. I meandered my frame over to the oversized couch in my living room and lay down as a gentle darkness overtook my eyes once again. I lay there for god knows how long listening to the silent wisp of the flames and thinking about the long years past.

_I love you too, Ichigo._

* * *

"Make your wish Kurosaki-kun!"

I looked to see Inoue smiling at me, her eyes looking more enigmatic and pretty at that instant. Maybe it was the glow of the fireflies that unusually filled the night air or the candles illuminating themselves that made her look even more ethereal; I don't know what it was, but I didn't really care either. All that mattered was that I was here with her enjoying the fireworks in the sky and the laughter down below. I took a slip of paper and pen from her and quickly wrote down my wish before folding it into the bamboo and watching Inoue do the same. We sat and listened to those around us sing the song as old as the tradition as the wishes of those floated down the river.

_The bamboo leaves rustle, rustle,  
Shaking away in the eaves,  
The stars go twinkle, twinkle;  
Gold and silver grains of sand. _


	14. Chapter 13

The last few weeks had felt like a dream.

After I told Inoue about the death of my mother, it felt like a barrier of some sort had been broken. I felt a new connection to her, because she had been through the same thing as me. I couldn't help but feel some sort of mutual understanding when I would look into her eyes or when we would talk. I felt that we had a tacit understanding of each other; and that feeling alone made me feel closer to her than before. When we would kiss I would feel this new electrical fire set off in my veins, igniting a new passion that I had never experienced before. When she would run her fingers through my hair or tweak the corner of my ear I would feel this lazy comfort that would make me want to stay in her presence for days on end. Her hugs would make me hold her a little tighter, to feel her warmth radiate through my body and warm my soul. Being around her would brighten my day, if only a little, it would make me smile. Being around her made me feel a little happier; it made me rest a little easier. I felt that I could relax when she would smile at me or laugh at my little antics. When I was with her I felt genuine, as if I didn't have to constantly put on the façade of an asshole. If only a little, that made me feel a bit more secure.

With all these new found feelings I had discovered, I couldn't help but put them into writing. Usually when I wasn't working on a novel I would write a few short stories in between the lapses. Most of them had been filled with drama and angst, but I decided to try something new this time. I would try to write about a more uplifting subject and see how it would play out.

I sauntered down the street as the sun beat down on my back. It was a usual day in July; hot and dry. I wore a light colored shirt with a pair of loose fitting jeans but it still felt as if I was woven tight in winter clothes and thrown into a sauna. But the heat couldn't keep the confidence out of my strides. I had finished writing my short story, submitted it to Yoruichi, and was on my way to see what she thought of it. I felt that it would be one of the best short stories I had written to date and she would yet again flip through the small pamphlet mumbling words of commendation.

I was on my way toward Tatsuki's place of business to check in with her and grab something to drink but I would never make it to my intended destination. As I was walking down the avenue in my own little world, I carelessly bumped into a person and knocked them onto the pavement. Usually I would have continued down the street, accounting for the person's meeting with the pavement to be their own fault. But I was in a good mood and decided that I would apologize and help the person I bumped into. As I bent to help I noticed the person was female by her small stature, with ebony hair thrown over her shoulder that effectively hid her hands. I offered kind words as I gently touched her shoulder. She turned toward me her face creased with anger as I felt my own features contort and twist even more than what they already were.

I really should have just kept going. I should've picked a different day to practice civility.

Because when I saw that face, a flurry of memories clogged my mind as two bright steel blue eyes glared at me. Everything at that moment slowed down as recognition set into her face and anger poured out. The sun was battering my neck, quickly scorching the sensitive skin. Sweat slowly trickled down my back in a sickening lazy manner. My throat constricted, then relaxed as salvia slide down the opening. My heart beat slowly, like the moving of a boulder. My legs slightly ached from being squatted. My hand slid from her shoulder.

"Ichigo?" she asked incredulity. "Is it really you!"

Time sped up as her words registered in my brain. I quickly stood, she also doing the same. She hugged me as the cars honked around us, reminding me that we were on a street. Hurried feet scuttled by as the rasp from whispers filled my ears. The scent of baked goods filled my nose. Someone bumped into my back. A small body was pressed firmly against my own; my hands remained planted by my side.

"What…what are you doing here?"

That was the only question that invaded my mind. I knew I was being rude but I couldn't help it. Things are put in the past for a reason. They weren't supposed to come back and hug you around your neck. She quickly released and glowered at me as she planted her hands on her hips.

"No 'hi Rukia, I haven't seen you in years!' or 'how have you been?' And you knocked me over and didn't even apologize! You're still the same ass I knew Ichigo!"

Her words snapped me from my thoughts as an equally menacing glare burned through my face. She smirked lightly and laughed as I felt my glare weaken. I never knew why, but I wasn't able to stay too mad at her when she would smile at me like that.

"You really still are the same." She said as she shook her head. "How have you been Ichigo?"

The softness of her tone and normalcy of her question caught me off guard. I turned her words over in my head trying to dissect the meaning of her words to find the underlying implication they held. I answered when I could find none.

"Okay I guess." I said as I eyed her dubiously. "Why are you in Itabashi?"

"Yup, yup. You look good!" she said brightly as she placed her hands on her hips and completely ignored my inquiry. "I've never seen you wearing a pale shirt. Is that the new style or have you just switched up on me while I was gone?"

"It's hot." I replied as her mocking tone replayed through my head.

I felt a slight rising in my blood pressure as my temples throbbed partly from the sun and from her unwillingness to answer my questions (her mocking wasn't doing much for my attitude either). I stuffed my hands in my pockets as I looked away from her, the care free expression on her face angering me every second. It was always like this when we would talk. Small talk between me and her usually didn't work and we would end up yelling at each other for no reason at all. There was a time when such a thing didn't happen, when instead of yelling at me she would smile one of those smiles at me but that was long lost in the past. The nostalgia I felt burdening my heart wasn't something that I missed.

"Then come on! Let's go inside since it's so hot! Or do you want to stand out here all day and act like an idiot?"

Her voice trailed off as she walked away from me. I felt the overbearing need to kick the invisible dirt at her and leave; to wave and walk off in the opposite direction, but my feet reluctantly moved in her direction.

Maybe this was all a dream. Maybe my mind had overworked itself from writing a story so quickly or the sun was melting my brain. But I knew this couldn't possibly be a dream as I wanted it to be. I knew because the way my stomach tensed with every step and the feeling of dread told me that this was indeed reality.

When we arrived to the little café a waitress greet us and asked what we would like to drink. I quickly declined as she did the same and we sat in silence for a moment as she studied my face and I did the same. She still looked the same. Maybe her face wasn't as childish as it had been but the blue of her eyes still glowed with mystery, her nose was still small like a mouse's, and her lips were still pouted in the same manner as I remember.

"Did your hair get brighter?" I shrugged my shoulders as I looked away. "It looks a little longer!" she said enthusiastically. "You must have filled out too. Your chest and arms are practically busting out of your shirt! Your face looks a lot less scary too. Can it be that you've-?"

"What are you doing here Rukia?" I asked, cutting her off midsentence as my gaze reconnected with hers. "And don't ignore me this time."

I expected her face to pucker down in a glower, I expected her to start yelling obscenities at me about not letting her finish her sentence or being rude but she did nothing of the sort. Instead she smiled at me and showed me her hand as her words breezed pass my ears.

"I'm picking my wedding dress! I'm getting married in December!"

I felt my eyes widen as my heart slowed its pace then rapidly sped up again. Her face was glowing with her happiness as her lips spread wide across her face. Married? Rukia married? That in itself was hard to imagine but it wasn't farfetched to guess who she would be wed to.

"Is it that same guy?" I asked as I scratched my head.

"Who? Renji! Of course it is who else could it be?"

I nodded numbly as more memories came pouring into my head. They were memories that I had buried deep within the crevices of my heart and mind; memories that were never meant to resurface were sprouting to the surface like new trees.

"You're invited if you want to come! You know that you'll always have a seat at my wedding!"

My veins constricted as an indescribable feeling of anguish and anger filled my being. Why was she being so nonchalant and carefree after everything that had happened? Why was she sitting here, showing me her engagement ring as she talked about wedding dresses and invitations to a wedding? And why was I listening? Why wouldn't my body move toward the door? Why couldn't I stop the feeling of stale envy from invading my being?

"I-I have to go." I said hurriedly as I quickly stood up. She stood also, her stature not even reaching the center of my chest and hugged me tightly. I patted her lightly on the back and quickly managed to wriggle free of her grip. I left the little café feeling the way I always used to feeling when I left her presence; slighted.

Even after the years that had passed it felt as if she still held the upper hand. It felt as if each of her words held a different meaning than what was originally thought; it was as if she was speaking in code. I could never figure out her code though. The real meaning of her monologues always eluded me. I tried not to take her words at face value and search deeper, but I could never find the double meaning of what she spoke. I felt that she knew far more about what was going on in my life from what I said and my interactions than I did her. It always pissed me off that she managed to do that. That with every twitch of my body she could tell what was going down.

* * *

I arrived at the office all too quickly to settle the murmuring of my thoughts. I was still turning her sentences over in my head, trying to discern her words when I arrived. I inhaled deeply before I entered the room and made my entrance. I saw Inoue sitting at her usual spot in the room, her hair covering part of her face as she wrote vigorously in her book. I stepped up to her desk and as soon as my shadow cast out her light, her head immediately shot up and looked at me with a slight embarrassment. Recognition set into her face as a smile spread wide and her musical voice drifted pass my ears.

"Hello Kurosaki-kun!"

Her hair was loosely hanging over her ears as her eyes danced as she looked at me. Her hair looked a bit more red than its usual sandy color and glimmered in the light that shown on it. Her eyes were wide and the grey of her irises looked a little brighter than usual, as if she had decided to turn up the wattage of her stare. Her lips were turned upward in a smile that spread across her face as her pen happily tapped its own tune on the desk. But her cheery appearance did the opposite of put me in a good mood.

Why would I think about Rukia when I had Inoue? Inoue, who never hid the meaning of her words and would look me in the eye when she told me her deepest thoughts and feelings? Inoue, who smiled at me as if it would be the last time she would she me. Inoue, who made me feel as if I never had to pretend around her. Why would I think about Rukia when I had Inoue in my life?

I felt my mood sour even more as I stared at the brightness of her features. Why was I being so stupid? What happened with Rukia was buried in the past, Inoue was my present. But why, why did I still feel an empty envy when she mentioned marriage? Why couldn't I be happy with the way my life was now?

"Hey, what's wrong?"

I felt soft fingers touch my face as her words passed my ears. I turned my head back to her to now see her standing and leaning forward, a worried look crossing her features. Her fingers felt so soft and silky as they gently glided over my cheek to my ear where they stayed for some time before they tangled themselves in my hair. Her hand sashayed back to my cheek and cupped it as she ran the pad of her thumb over my face.

Her lips moved to form words, but before she could speak the door from Yoruichi office opened. Inoue's hand reluctantly dropped as she turned to look at her. I instead looked away, not caring to see the smug smile that would cross her face.

"Oh, did I interrupt something? Maybe I should listen behind the door until you two are finished."

I could feel her gaze burning the side of my face as her taunting words danced in my head. My hands clenched as I pictured the smug expression planted on her face. A tick quickly developed on my head as the vision of her taunting face crowded my mind.

"Oh no no no Mrs. Yoruichi-san! You didn't interrupt anything!" Inoue sputtered as her embarrassment shone through her voice.

"Don't worry Orihime, I'm only going to be a minute with Ichigo so you two can get back to whatever you were doing before I entered!" she said, a little too enthusiastic.

I felt slender arms wrap around my arm and rather roughly pull me away. I saw Inoue's faced stained red from embarrassment with still a twinge of worry in her eyes as they crossed with my own. In a second's time her face was cut off from mine and instead my gaze met the wood of the door. I heard an exasperated sigh and turned to see Yoruichi pulling at the bridge of her nose as she plopped down into her chair. Her mood was serious, the opposite of how she usually was when she dragged me away into her office.

"Ichigo…" she slowly began as she trailed off, "Ichigo, I'm not one for beating around the bush, or flowering up words so…" she said as she trailed off once again, "so what is this crap that you turned into me? It's something that you would find in one of those cheap romance novels! Why didn't you stick to what you know?"

My mind was jolted from the brutal words she spoke. Crap? Cheap romance novel material? I felt my veins constrict and tense as my stomach did a three sixty.

"W-what do you mean? Haven't you been telling me to branch out? I-I thought it was at decent at best!" I lied as my eyes locked with her no non-sense stare.

Her eyes stared at me as her features tugged downward in a serious manner. Her hands were regally, yet stiffly set in front of her body as her body looked equally rigid. She leaned back as she let out another exasperated sigh and closed her eyes.

"Ichigo…look, you're the best writer that this publishing company has. I wouldn't tell you this if I hadn't read over this material a thousand times! You're a great writer and you tell movies with your words. With this story that you've submitted, it doesn't even hint at what you're capable of!" She hesitated slightly, before she continued with her monologue. "Ichigo, does…does this have anything to do with Orihime?"

"And what if it did?" I snapped back before I knew words had left my mouth. Her eyes narrowed as she broke eye contact.

"Maybe you should back off a bit Ichigo. This is your career, your life. You know how the critics are if you make a mistake! In this business you can't do that!" she said as her hazel eyes locked with my glare. "I understand that what you have with Inoue is something special, but speaking from the standpoint of your editor and advisor I must advise you to cool off. You are a very passionate person Ichigo, it shows in your writing, but you can't mix your love life with your work life!"

There was a pregnant silence as the gravity of her words hung in the air. My fist clenched and unclenched as the anger in my being flared through my veins. I swallowed heavily, trying to clear my voice of the venom I knew was there.

"So…so what are you saying?" I asked, my voice coming out calmer than I thought.

"I'm saying that I'm giving you a break. Come back in a few months or so with another story and we'll see how it goes from there."

Even though she was trying to spare my feelings and ego we both knew the cold reality of her statement; I was on leave, indefinite until I was told that 'vacation' was over.

"Go back to school, see the sights, travel the world. Just clear your mind. Of course you'll still get your royalties and a check from the company, so you will be well taken care of. This is your time Ichigo, don't waste it away."

She got up, came from around her desk and patted my shoulder, "You'll do as I say now won't you?"

I shook my head as I lowered my gaze to the floor, "Yeah, yeah I will."

Maybe it was just me, but those words that fell from my lips sounded empty to my ears.

When I exited the office, I was met by two oversized light grey irises staring at me. Her face still held her worry lines (although she tried to conceal it) and her hands were firmly planted by her sides, as if it was taking everything in her being to keep them there.

There were so many things I could have said to her at that instant. I could have told her about the encounter with Rukia and who she had been in my life, or I could have told her of my indefinite leave that I was now placed under. I could have told her that before this day happened I felt so close to her, but now that feeling of closeness swayed. I could have told her so many things but none of that came forth from my mouth.

"I-I'm going home, I'll see ya later?"

I don't know why but I couldn't tell her anything like I usually would. Something told me that I was being foolish for not confiding in her when I knew she would understand. But a bigger part of me told me not to tell her anything, because look where it got me. I knew I shouldn't blame my problems on her but I couldn't help it, I felt as if I had to point the finger at someone and because I was too weak to point it at myself it had to be her.

"Kurosaki-kun, you know you can tell me what's wrong. You can tell me anything."

Her words drifted pass my ears but I didn't comprehend them. I smiled the best smile I could at her before I spoke.

"Don't worry Inoue, I'm fine, you don't have to worry about anything."

If it was possible, her face fell even more as I smiled at her, it looked as if she was going to cry but she did nothing of the sort. Instead she kissed my cheek and smiled her brightest smile at me.

"Okay Kurosaki-kun, I'll see you later!"

I quickly left, not being able to look at her smiling lips and shining eyes anymore. I don't know why but when I thought of her I immediately became infuriated.

I don't know which thought made me angrier.

The thought that she had ruined was I so hardly worked for, or the thought that I was blaming my failures on her.

Either way, I was still the asshole everyone knew.


	15. Chapter 14

"_Why are you such an ass Ichigo?" _

_They were walking down a lone avenue, a long silence dragging between them before she pounced her rather unjustified question (or so it seemed to him). Her words sounded calm, monotone on the surface, but this boy knew her, and he knew her well. Really her words were laced with anger and abashment, her lips invisibly quivering with a silent rage. He'd been off in his own complacent world, walking by her brightening his mood even if it wasn't tangible on his face. But that tacit feeling of content quickly flew from his frame when her words hit his ears. He immediately stopped, his fists clenching as his head reeled and his temples throbbed. _

"_What are you talking about Rukia?" he said, his voice overcome with defensiveness. _

_She stopped in her steps throwing him a glance over her shoulder before she cut her gaze and looked at her reflection in the glass of the little mom and pop shop. He stared at her back, admiring the way her uniform snugly fit her short frame. He glanced over her silky looking ebony hair that barely touched her shoulders and wondered what could be wrong with her. He saw her staring intently into the little shop as if they held the secrets of the universe. She sighed as she turned fully to face him, her face calm and devoid of all emotion. _

"_Ichigo, you...you're so stubborn to the point where you push people away."_

_His brow furrowed deeper than it already was as he tried to decipher her cryptic message. He thought hard on her words but subsequently chuckled as he mused that she was playing with him once again. He put a hand up to his forehead as he massaged the taut skin and grinned at her. Rukia with her stupid games; she almost had him going for a moment. He walked toward her and moved his arm to touch her face but it was quickly slapped down by her hand. Her face now held a look of unreadable ire; an anger that burned in her eyes, her cheeks, and lips. _

"_What's wrong with you?"_

_His brow was furrowed deeper than she had ever seen it, and his lips were a line thinner than a paper cut. Her eyes met with his again and he felt the pace of heart pick up. Why was she glaring at him as if he had done something that couldn't be reversed? Why was she staring at him with such a look of wrath and contempt? She let out a hollow laugh as her hand came to massage the bridge of her nose. _

"_Heh, you are both completely dense and oblivious or you just don't care! I swear Ichigo; you are the biggest ass I've ever met!"_

_He took another step toward her as his body effectively entered the space that was considered hers. She looked at the glower in his eyes and was mildly surprised to see a pang of hurt that was quickly covered by anger. 'How could she?' he thought, bewilderment running rampant through his mind. 'How could she say I don't care?' He cared too much (at least he thought he did). He always watched out for her and in his heart she seated herself quite comfortably even if he didn't show it in his expressions or words per se. He showed his affections in a different manner. Every look he gave her showed how much he cared, every caress of her hand or face demonstrated the way he would take so much care to give her a gentle touch. He cared; he __**more**__ than cared, he was sure of that fact. She just had to look pass the frown of his brow or the glower of his eyes to see the emotions his eyes held. She just had to look pass the way the way he lips always thinned out to see that he was really trying to smile at her, but just didn't know how. _

_She just needed to look into his heart. _

"_What are you talking about Rukia?" he asked heatedly, "Why are you acting so weird?" _

"_Do you think of me the same way I think of you Ichigo?" she countered instead of answering his inquiry._

"_Of course I do!" his voice was brash and booming as his breath blew over her face. _

"_Then why don't you act like it Ichigo? Why do you act as if I'm nothing to you? Why can't you treat me how other guys treat their girlfriend?" she inquired, her voice soft compared to her previous tone. _

_He felt his blood pump through his arteries, veins, and capillaries with increased strength and speed as her words angered him. He felt like grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her to get a grip, but he would never do such a thing; not to his Rukia. _

"_Because I'm not like other guys!" he shouted, "I-I thought you liked being with me Rukia. Why…why are you acting like it's such a drag now?"_

_His anger deflated as he completed his sentence. When they first started dating Ichigo was ecstatic; even though he didn't show it on his face, he was happy beyond belief that she agreed to be his and only his. Why was she now acting as if she wished she never wanted to date him? _

"_Why can't you change a little Ichigo? Nothing big, nothing major; I need to see that the feelings I have for you are mutual."_

"_My words aren't enough?" he quickly quipped back as she looked away from his intense gaze, telling him that he was right. "I'm not…I can't…I refuse to change for you; for anybody! I thought you agreed to accept me just the way I am when we began dating! I refuse to change the little things about me just to please you! Because…because that what makes me, me!" _

_Many years ago, a woman with gentle hazel eyes and equally gentle words told him never to change for anyone, never to betray himself to satisfy someone else's wants. He made a promise to her that he wouldn't do that, and that was a promise he refused to break. _

_She chuckled as she looked away from his gaze and his own anger buckled as he saw that soft smile cross her lips. _

"_You're an ass Ichigo, you really are," she said as she looked at him, "but I guess you're my ass aren't you?" _

_She grabbed his hand and started walking, causing him to stumble behind her with a heated blush on his face. Sometimes understanding Rukia was like trying to find his way through the Amazon blind. But he still cared for her the same whether she was being difficult or completely compliable. Sometimes he couldn't explain what she did to his heart._

_It was…bittersweet. _

_But unbeknownst to the boy at that time, she was just as determined to get him to change if only a little. She saw it as a challenge that she gladly accepted. She would change the Kurosaki Ichigo; the toughest, roughest, scariest boy into a gentler and compliable character. _

_Oh yes he would find out in time, and what she would do to his heart would be bittersweet._

_Yes, very bittersweet indeed._

* * *

I don't know why I had been thinking about Rukia lately. She was on my mind when I woke up this morning; her and the news of my leave. I silently watched as the soft late morning clouds drifted pass my eyes. I don't know why, but today I couldn't stare at the clouds with as much vigor as I usually did. I couldn't look pass the big blobs of white to see a figure forming in their dance. My mind was too scatterbrained at the moment to even look at the beauty the sky held. I sighed as I sat up, feeling the weight of a burden on my heart and the heat of the sun on my back. It had been quite a while since the last time my thoughts were too restless to enjoy my favorite pastime. I looked down and heard the happy cries coming the deep slope below. I was even in one of my favorite spots to think and it still didn't quell the apprehension of my thoughts. I saw a couple holding hands and another sitting on a bench deep into a conversation. Immediately I thought of Inoue. She had come by my apartment earlier today and I had essentially told her to scram. To say I was avoiding her was the understatement of the century. It was more like I would run every time I sensed her presence. I knew why I was taking great strides to avoid her but at the current moment I couldn't find it in myself to look at the twinkle of her eye or the smile at her lips without a flurry of questions flying into my head at one moment. I didn't want to deal with those questions and emotions that would stir in my heart when I would see her. The news of Rukia's marriage and the news of my leave where already weighing heavily on my soul; I didn't need Inoue's soft eyes to help seal the deal and send me to my grave.

I walked slowly around the province, visiting all my favorite places to think, each of them giving me no reprieve from my overbearing thoughts. I finally headed toward my home after I ran out of places to visit. When I stepped out into the lobby leading to my apartment, I immediately felt an oppressive aura. It felt familiar yet daunting and as I turned out of the elevator to enter my apartment I saw a figure leaning casually on the wall opposite of my door that made my blood run cold when our eyes locked.

It was Tatsuki.

And she was beyond pissed.

She quickly stormed toward me and before I spoke she had already hit me in the nose, sending me tumbling backwards as I fell unceremoniously onto the plush carpet. I felt an acute throb as a liquid drawled from my quickly swelling nose. I quickly clamped my hand over my nose trying to stop the throbbing that was starting to make me dizzy. I tasted copper in my mouth as I looked up to see Tatsuki's dark features tight in rage. From my angle, her bangs covered her eyes but the rest of her face and body only hinted at the anger her eyes held at that moment. Her lips were a thin line that twitched involuntarily every few seconds. Her cheeks were flushed an incensed red as her whole body literally shook from her repressed emotions.

"Tatsuki, you better get a grip on yourself before one of the neighbors call the police!"

She stormed toward me, angrily pulling me to my feet by my shirt and tearing it in the process as her venom like words bit at my ears.

"Neighbors? What neighbors? You live on the penthouse floor! You have no neighbors you ass!" she shouted before she swiftly popped me on the cheek. The power from her punch had me stumble back a few feet as I tried regaining my bearings. Not only was my nose throbbing and bleeding, my cheek had a laceration running vertically across it and ached to no end.

"What's your problem Tatsuki?" I asked as I wiped the blood away from my nose. I felt my hands clench in restricted ire as Tatsuki's own hands remained closed, ready to strike me again. Her gaze was downcast but when she glowered at me her eyes showed nothing but anger and contempt, disappointment, and…longing?

"Why are you being an idiot on purpose Ichigo?" she asked as her face contorted in anger. "Why do you have to try to sabotage your happiness every time it comes within a walking stick of you?"

Her eyes held a sense of longing to know why I couldn't be satisfied with things when they appeared to be doing just fine. Her eyes wanted to understand what I was going through; they wanted to help me. But I didn't back down. I became suddenly enraged by the fact that she would trounce on my affairs when her help was not suggested, when her opinion wasn't needed.

"Why are you constantly in my business Tatsuki? Why can't you just butt out and leave me alone?"

"Because I made a promise!" she shouted heatedly as my shoulders tensed. I quickly broke my glare with hers and looked down at my feet as the memories from that day flushed through my mind. I decided that this conversation was over when I walked by her and fished in my pocket for my keys. Today wasn't my day; in fact my whole week had been a bowl of toilet water. As I found my keys I let myself in and proceeded to close the door but stopped my actions when I heard Tatsuki's voice breeze by my ears.

"Why won't you talk to Orihime?"

Her words were calm, devoid of all emotion but when I turned to face her, her eyes still held a dangerous and explosive level of contempt and anger. I wiped the trickling blood from my nose and stuck my hands in my pockets as I admired the decorations on the door, acting as if it was the most fascinating thing I had ever seen. My nose throbbed with a painful intensity and I closed my eyes as the intensity of the pain worsened. I knew why I wouldn't talk to Inoue, but that wasn't something I would tell Tatsuki about. Even if she wanted to help me I wanted to keep my personal business personal.

"Wha-What did Inoue tell you?" I asked offhandedly, trying to keep the concern from showing in my voice.

I heard Tatsuki huff and when I glanced at her, she had her arms crossed, her face taut in anger as her icy blue eyes pierced my soul.

"She didn't say anything. In fact, she was saying that you did nothing wrong, that she just accidently caught you on one of your bad days. She said it was her fault that her boyfriend was acting like an asshole and wouldn't tell anyone why!"

I looked away from her eyes again, not being able to handle her intense glare penetrating into my soul. Despite myself, I felt a smile prick at my lips at Inoue's behavior. I was sure she would tell Tatsuki that I was pushing her away, that I was acting withdrawn, but she did the exact opposite. I didn't understand why she held such a loyalty to me when I acted as if I never wanted to speak with her again. I couldn't comprehend why she didn't just leave as any other person would have by now. But it warmed my soul, if only a little. To know that she stood by my side even when I treated her so bad made a butterfly of content flutter in my heart.

"What are you so torn about that you can't even talk to Orihime about it? Is it really that bad?"

Instead of answering her question a succession of empty laughs erupted from my throat. I knew I shouldn't be laughing at such a serious moment but I couldn't help it. I had to detach myself in some manner and I felt that laughter was the only way to do that.

"Tatsuki did you know…" I trailed as my laughter quelled a little, "…did you know that Rukia is getting married? And you'd never guess who either!"

In a second's time, I felt the small yet strong hands of someone on my chest. I was pushed backward with the force of a strength trainer and my butt roughly met with the wood tile of my floor. I put my hands out to brace myself and stared agitatedly up at the person who committed the crime. For a moment, I swear I saw red flash through her eyes as the blue of her eyes darkened to such a point that it made them look black. Her whole face was now flushed a bright hue of scarlet, as her fist clenched at her sides with the intention of hitting me.

"Is this what all this has been about? Have you been treating Inoue like **shit** because of **her**? I swear Ichigo if you don't give me an answer right now I'll beat you till you'll really have something to bitch about!"

I inwardly flinched at her threat as the throbbing of my nose and the ache of my cheek increased. I really didn't feel like making a trip to the hospital and I knew that's what I'd be in for if I didn't give her the honest to God truth. I sighed as I turned from her glare and stared at the wall as I thought how to word my next sentence.

"No…" I heard her take a step toward me, "I mean, a little bit of it has to do with that but there are some other things too."

"What are the 'other things' that you're talking about?"

I shrugged as she ominously took another stride toward me. "Tatsuki, I…I-I just don't think I'm ready to talk about it right now. I-I just need time to sort through my thoughts. I looked back at her, staring into the darkness of her irises. She blew out a breath and closed her eyes as she folded her arms across her chest. She stood like that for a moment, blowing her breath out every once in a while as if the repress the anger in her being. It must've worked for when she opened her eyes, they were back to the same shade of blue that I had accustomed myself to.

"What…what if she walks out of your life before you ever come to terms with whatever is troubling you Ichigo?" my heart beat painfully in my chest as she said that. "I don't see how she does it. Hell, I couldn't make it in a week with you with that attitude you have. But…but she sees something in you that I fail to, she's patient and takes her time with you; she doesn't brush you aside once she realizes that you possibly the biggest ass she's ever met." I felt a stitch form on the side of my head at the latter statement of her sentence as she took a breath before she continued. "I-I just don't want to see her walk out your life. She's good for you whether you realize that or not. She…she makes you happy Ichigo and I just don't want to see you lose that."

_After all, I've seen you lose that once before. _

Although she didn't say it, I could hear that sentence playing in her voice. I could hear those words drift pass my ear as she looked into my eyes. "I-I just…have my doubts about some things…that's all."

_I'm going to make sure I don't get hurt like that again. _

"Get up." She said sternly as she offered her hand to me. I stared at it a moment before grabbing it and having her yank me onto my feet. She wet her thumb with her salvia and gingerly wiped of the blood that had crusted on the groove from my nose to my mouth.

"I swear, you're like the little brother I never had. I always have to look out for you."

"So you're finally admitting that you have the sister complex? I've been telling you that for years."

"Don't push it Ichigo." She said rather darkly as she pushed on the tip of my nose, which in turn caused me to wince in pain. After she was done cleaning up my nose and cheek she patted me on the head lightly as she wrapped her arm around me in a hug. I was mildly surprised and it took a moment before I returned the gesture.

"Don't…don't think too long. You know she's still waiting."

Her hand dropped from my head and remained at her side as her words sank into my brain. I quirked my lips up as I patted her on her head in the same manner that she had done to me.

"Yea," I said as she pulled her frame from mine and looked at my face before she smirked.

"You with that half-assed smile. You need to learn how to smile again."

Her words only registered in my brain after I heard the soft click from my door. I sat down and stared at the door as I thought about Tatsuki's words. If I could ignore the questions that plagued me when I thought of Inoue, everything would be alright.

If I could stop comparing Inoue to Rukia, everything would be ok.

I groaned as I felt a headache coming on.

* * *

"He's an ass Orihime. I don't see how you do it."

"Ah, Tatsuki-chan, don't say that."

They were walking down a relatively empty street appearing to be heading to nowhere in particular. A young woman with short ebony hair walked somewhat angrily as her blue eyes glowered at anyone who stepped into her path. She wore a light colored tank top and khaki shorts that stopped before her knee with wore tennis shoes that possibly aided the bounce of anger in her steps. She wiped sweat from her brow as the heat of the sun beat down on the side of her face. Walking quite worriedly behind the hot headed brunette was another young woman with hair the color of autumn. She wore a flower patterned blouse with a long flowing skirt completed by penny loafer shoes at her feet. Her hands were clasped in front of her as a concerned look was planted across her face.

"Kurosaki-kun was just in one of his moods. I'm sure he'll be back to normal next time I see him."

The brunette turned hard on her heel as she stopped and glared at the pretty woman walking behind her. Her eyes shone in the light of the sun, bringing out the grey in them and making them shine like silver gemstones. The brunette looked from her eyes and instead looked down at the trail of ants marching on the crack of the side walk.

"Why are you so understanding of his selfishness and stupidity? Why have you stuck by his side even when he's been a complete fool?"

She smiled as her friend inquired about her resolve to stay with the man that was currently not speaking to her.

"I care about him too much to just leave. I know that Kurosaki-kun is dealing with some things he doesn't know what to think on and I feel as if I shouldn't disturb him from his thoughts. When he's ready, he'll come talk to me. That much I'm sure of." She kept that same smile on her face as she spoke to her friend, conveying in her words the way she felt about the man in question. The brunette reflected back to when she saw the pained look in his eye that he desperately tried to hid in his apartment earlier that week. His eyes were so unsure of everything as he glared at her. They told her that memories of the pass resurfaced that caused him to doubt the validity of his relationship. She sighed as she coarsely rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"He really is an idiot, he really is."

"Don't say that Tatsuki-chan. It's just Kurosaki-kun being Kurosaki-kun." She reprimanded lightly as she smiled at her companion. The brunette glanced at the sandy haired girl through the corner of her eye and decided it was long overdue about the tale of the past. After all that _he_ put her through, she felt as if the woman deserved to know.

"Orihime I have a something I should tell you about," she chuckled before she continued, "I don't see that idiot getting around to telling you anytime soon."

The sandy haired girl blinked as the girl next to her started to chuckle and mumble to herself. "Come on, walk with me," she said as she started off down the street. She turned her head away from the girl as she peered into the stores that passed her. She sighed and chuckled again as she slid her hands into her pockets and reminisced.

"You know, Ichigo was really scrawny and a lot shorter back in those days. His hair wasn't as long, but just as orange and wild. He had that same scowl on his face and usually he kept it expressionless most of the time. He had this huge head and puny body, but his body didn't give credit to how good of a fighter he was."

The sandy haired woman smiled secretly as she pictured a younger Ichigo with the same scowl, just shorter and skinnier.

In that window she saw the picturesque of her companion. She saw his younger self; ruff, gruff, tough, and ready to rumble.

The brunette chortled and closed her eyes as the memories came rushing back to her like the surge of a storm.

"That Ichigo, he really was something back then."


	16. Chapter 15

"That Ichigo, he really was something back then."

They were sitting in a relatively small café, near the outer suburban area of the province where the beauty of nature was easily visible. The dark haired woman slumped over her seat, a slight frown at her brows as her hand cupped her face while she absentmindedly stared at the scenery. In front of her sat another woman with eyes that shone like the sun and sandy brown hair; a slight smile tipped at her lips as her hands fidgeted slightly in her lap.

"We grew up in Karakura Town. It's a small little province near the heart of Tokyo."

The perfectly manicured hedges and pretty shrubbery slowly faded from her vision and was replaced with overgrown grass, a river, and an unsightly hue of orange.

"Back then, it was just me, Ichigo, and our other friend Sado."

She chuckled softly as the images from the yesteryears flooded her mind's eye.

"If you ever saw Ichigo, you really had to laugh. He was barely taller than me, scrawny, had this wild orange hair, and not to mention was named after a fruit. Yet, he was feared by all in the school. Only the stupid and the new would get into fights with him; and they'd all end the same way."

* * *

_Karakura Town, Tokyo, Japan  
Seven Years Ago_

"_Ichigo, let's get going! We're gonna be late for school!"_

_It was a pretty day to say the least. The sun stood high in the sky, blinding some of the citizens with its powerful glare and comforting others with its warmth. The birds sang happily in the air as they searched vigorously for food for their young and the wind whispered in the ears of the province, only hinting at the cold night before. The sound of water sloshing freely could be heard on one side of the province, and the smell of salt and wet dirt accompanied it._

_A boy with hair the color of a tangerine and eyes the color of chocolate slightly flinched at the acerbic voice that rang through his ears. 'Damn, she's loud,' he thought discreetly as he lightly dusted himself off. _

"_Come on Ichigo! We're done here. Let's get to school before we're late!" the same voice yelled. _

_He sighed and pointedly tried to ignore it as he tried to straighten his ruffled clothes before he went on his way. He felt his veins begin to throb violently as the loud ranting of the voice continued to beat down on his ears. When he finally had enough, he turned his torso toward the voice and looked at the perpetrator with a dangerous glower in his eye._

"_What?" he demanded as the person in question glared back at him. _

_She was a girl around his age that was quite pretty, but she managed to veil her beauty with her tomboyish personality. Her short ebony hair flipped outward near her ears and neck as her midnight blue eyes glared at him, darkening to such a point that they could be mistaken for black. Her nostrils were flared as her lips formed a paper thin line. Her body was taught with restricted ire and her hands were tightly clenched into fist. _

_To someone else, her ominous glare or threatening body language might have warned them about her temperament right now – it may have even scared them – but the scowl on her face didn't faze him in the slightest; he was confident that the look on his countenance outdid hers by a long shot._

_His eyebrows shot down at a sharp angle over his subterranean eyes and his lips were formed into a tight and deadly scowl. His flashy hair color only seemed to add to the hostile aura that surrounded him at that moment; but the girl paid no mind. The way his shoulders were tight with some unidentifiable but threatening emotion, the way his fist clenched so tight that his knuckles had already gone past white, or the way his deep chocolate eyes held no emotion – which only added toward the scary atmosphere around him – might have scared someone else and promised a painful and horrifying death didn't even faze this girl. _

_Instead she gallantly walked toward him and grabbed his collar, setting him off balance and pulling his face a few inches from hers. _

"_Tatsuki what do you think you're doing?" the boy growled as his eyes darkened. _

"_Trying to get to school on time you idiot! Didn't sensei say she would put us in detention if we were late again? And trust me if I miss practice because of you, it's gonna be your throat!"_

_But the boy sneered, jutted up his lower lip and dug his heels into the earth as he turned his head away from her, "I refuse. You'll have to pummel me into the ground before I'll listen to you." He said defiantly, spiting the girl in front of him. _

_She smiled dangerously as she popped the joints of her free hand, "Eh? You wanna try it?" she said harshly as a figure appeared behind the boys' back. _

_The whole reason they were there was because the tangerine boy had to 'teach' one of his fellow classmates a lesson. The boy had challenged him, saying that the tangerine boy's reputation was just hype and wanted to show how tough he really was; unfortunately for him, his toughness was showed the second he hit the ground face first with a shoe driving into his back. When he heard the tangerine arguing with the girl he had brought along he figured now would be the perfect time to extract his revenge. _

_He found a thick broken branch lying on the ground and decided it would be his weapon. Slowly, while the boy and girl where still in the heat of their verbal argument, he stood and raised the broken branch over his head to swing down on the tangerine but the girl had caught sight of what he was about to do. 'Aw, shit.'_

_She leaned close to her companion, raised her fist, and decked the boy with all the restricted anger she was bottling up. The boy's nose imploded on his face and the edges of his vision blackened out as he fell onto the earth. The sky spun out of control as his nose throbbed violently and sloshed loosely with every tremor of his body. His vision became blurry and blackened out all together as he slipped into unconsciousness. _

"_Great, not only are we gonna be late but now we gotta take this loser to the clinic! You're slipping Ichigo! You didn't even check if he was knocked out!"_

_His glare only intensified at her words and as he was about to retort, he felt the back of his uniform being pulled as he was heaved from the ground onto a solid but warm surface._

"_Come on you two. If you keep bickering like this we'll never get to school." A deep voice bellowed as it picked up the unconscious boy and the irate girl. _

"_Ah! Sado put me down! It's indecent to carry a girl like this!" she spouted as she turned to look at their rather tall but silent friend. _

"_What girl? I don't see one around here." the tangerine said slyly as he smirked. _

"_I heard that Ichigo!" she said as she raised her fist to hit him but missed._

* * *

"It sounds like you guys used to have a blast." The sandy haired woman said as she lightly laughed.

The raven haired woman looked at her, slightly shocked by her interpretation of their relationship; a smile slowly tugged at her lips.

"Yea, I guess so when you really think about it. We did used to get into some crazy situations back then." She said as nostalgia seeped into her voice.

"But…" her features darkened, "that was before…she came..."

* * *

"_Class we have a new student today!" the teacher belted out as a smile split her face. The class however, responded dully, seemingly unaffected by the news of a new face._

_The tangerine sat near the window and inwardly sighed as he absentmindedly plodded his fingers against the desk. He could care less! It would probably end in one of two ways: the person would fear him: or the person would try to engage him in battle then fear him. Either way this person would be another passing figure in his life, meant to look at him with a disgusted face and condescending eyes. _

_But he thought those thoughts before the small raven haired beauty stepped into the classroom. _

_Her eyes were a cobalt blue that glimmered in the light, making the lighter flecks sparkle as the light hit them; her eyes held a mystery he'd never known, a story his ears begged to hear, a calling he wanted to answer. Her lips were full and pink; soft and pliable, and the smooth porcelain skinned that framed her face made her whole countenance glow in a regal and refined way. Her ebony tresses flipped at her shoulders and curled at her face, completing the enigmatic and refined aura that surrounded her. _

_He was attracted to her, like a moth is to a light and couldn't take his eyes off of her. He couldn't help but be drawn in by the silent aura that pulsed around her like a heartbeat. His eyes refused to move from her petite face; they refused to look at anything that wasn't her. _

_Her eyes began to move, and when they did, they moved like fire on dry grass. Her eyes scanned across the classroom, looking into the faces of everyone she saw until they abruptly stopped on a fellow sitting near the window. His hair was a bright orange color, and with the sun shining on his hair the intense brightness only increased. He sat there slouching, his head held in his hand, his demeanor relatively nonchalant and oblivious; but his eyes betrayed him. They were glued to her and held an intense fire that he tried to hide. The glare of his eyes tried to pierce through her but only managed a few meters before it fell short at her feet. There was something about her that he wanted; something that he needed; and they both knew it. At this thought she couldn't help but bring the corners of her mouth upward into a grin._

_When their eyes met, he felt his heart thump wildly against his rib cage as his hands began to clam up. He felt uneasy and nervous as her eyes pierced through him, but he didn't show the unease on his face; instead, he glared that silent glare at her. There was something about her that piqued his interest; something about her that made him desire to be bold and stand before her with an unbreakable resolve. _

_He wanted, __**needed**__ to know her name. He needed to know the name of the girl that he couldn't take his eyes off of; he needed to know what to call this girl that branded her face into his mind._

_And she smirked. _

_It was a small and insignificant curvature; something that was barely noticeable. But to him it was a cryptic and mysterious smile, a smile that would draw him in and drown him with its mellow intensity; it was a smile that he'd come to acquaint himself with more than he wanted to. _

"_Class lets all give a warm welcome for our new student Kuchiki Rukia!"_

_The class lethargically muttered their words of welcome and geniality but he heard none of it. All he heard was her name._

_And he found the reprieve he was searching for._

_Rukia_

_It was burned into his mind; seared onto his heart. He'd never forget that name for as long as he was able to breathe air into his lungs._

_He'd never forget her face no matter how much he'd try._

_And rest assured; he'd try, and he'd try hard. _

_After he heard her name he didn't hear anything else. His senses completely tuned out everything around him until it was just her and that smile. His gaze never faltered from hers and that smile at her lips never disappeared. For the life of him he couldn't figure out why he couldn't stop gawking at her; sure, he was attracted to her, but he'd been attracted to other girls too but he didn't shamelessly glare them down (he did unintentionally but never stared for longer than a few seconds). But she was an anomaly herself. Besides Tatsuki and his sisters, he had never met another female that would fearlessly met his death glare; and that in itself intrigued him more than he'd like to admit. _

_He wanted to talk to her, to find out more about this enigma that stood before him, but for the life of him he couldn't find a decent way to approach her. _

_But luckily, he wouldn't have to entertain that thought for much longer._

"_Kuchiki please sit in the empty seat next to the fellow with the bright hair." At the teacher's instruction, the entire class – save a select few – discreetly gasped at the suggestion she made. They all turned to look at the tangerine with wary eyes._

_Slowly but steadily, he came out of his daze and for the first time in minutes his gaze shifted off of the girl to the face of his peers. He saw Tatsuki, who had a sly smile on her face that made his eye twitch, then saw one of the boys with fear smeared across his countenance. That's when he noticed just about the whole class was staring at him with either a look of fear or disgust stamped across their face. He felt his shoulders tense and his blood begin to flow rapidly through his veins as their gaze continued to assault his conscious. _

"_What?" he snapped irritably at the class, further intensifying the cautious aura. In just that instant, the class snapped their heads forward and only looked at him through the side of their eyes. He closed his eyes, trying to quell the feeling of glaring at his peers until a visible hole was burned through their face. When he opened his eyes again, the fire that had temporarily flamed in his eye was replaced with a vacant but equally threatening glare. _

"_Eh, don't worry Kuchiki, Kurosaki is a very nice fellow, he won't harm you in anyway." Their teacher said reassuringly as she flapped her hands at the girl._

"_Oi, Ochi-sensei lies aren't necessary; truth is, there's no telling what he might do! He might devour her!" A voice yelled out tauntingly, smirking at the tangerine as he glared at the figure. _

"_Arisawa! Don't say such damaging things!" the teacher demanded, but she only shrugged her shoulders and laughed, "You can't blame me for telling the truth." _

_She turned slightly to meet the tangerine's glare and chuckled when she saw that silent fire burning in his eyes. It was so easy to get a reaction out of her friend that sometimes she couldn't help but taunt him. _

_During this whole encounter, the girl in the front of the class said nothing. Her smirk had momentarily disappeared when the boy's eyes shifted from her but returned in a moment's time when she witnessed how flustered he became when all the attention was directed toward him. It wasn't that he was openly blushing or embarrassed at the attention was on him, but the way he barely shifted in his seat and clenched his fist told her that he was uncomfortable with their stares. _

_Her smile widened as she looked at the boy who was currently glaring at a dark haired girl who sat a few seats away. She folded her arms across her chest as she smiled, showing off her perfectly white teeth. _

'_He's a mystery, and he's not that bad looking either, except for that scowl on his face.' she thought as she silently clicked her tongue against her teeth. 'Maybe this won't be so bad after all." _

"_Sensei I'll take your word for it. If sensei says he's nice then it can't be a lie." the girl said innocently as she curtseyed and took her seat next to the tangerine. The eyes of the class were on her, watching her every move as if she would really be devoured by him before their eyes; but nothing of the sort happened. _

_When she sat, she turned to the him and offered her hand. "Let's be friends Kurosaki-kun!" her voice was enthusiastic but was laced with an emotion he couldn't quite identify._

_He blinked furiously at her outstretched hand, fairly surprised that she was being friendly. He swallowed deeply as he scoffed at her gesture and turned his head the other way. _

"_You can keep your friendship and your hand; I don't want it." he lied as he brushed her off, returning his gaze to the outside scenery. _

'_No reason to not act normally. It's better this way. She'll split when she hangs around me anyway.' He rationalized, trying to tell himself that's the reason he didn't want to become friends with the girl. _

'_Ass!' she thought as her eyebrow shot up on her face, nearly touching her hairline. 'You wanna play hardball Kurosaki? You're in over your head!'_

* * *

"Even after Ichigo was an ass to her she still didn't turn away like the rest would have. It's actually crazy because within a week she somehow integrated herself within our small little cell as if she had been there for years."

The brunette looked at the scenery outside again and smirked as she thought about the girl in question.

"But, I was…happy. Although I knew he'd never admit it, but when she came along, Ichigo had been happier than he was. And because Ichigo was happy, I felt I could be happy too, you know?" she took a breath before she continued; "When his mom died he changed so much. He went from this kid that had a smile that used to light up the room – and he'd smile so much that you'd want to deck him – to this kid who smiled at no one and dampened a good atmosphere. It…it hurt to see him like that, to watch him trying to make it through such a difficult time on his own. I mean, sure he still had his dad and his sisters, but he figured he couldn't burden them with the pain that was in his heart; so he kept it to himself. When his mom died, I decided I would help him any way I could; I promised myself that I would always be there for him."

The sandy haired woman smiled serenely as she looked at the dark haired woman's deep expression.

"You must really care deeply for Kurosaki-kun, Tatsuki-chan."

The young woman looked up again as a smile slid onto her face, "Yea, I guess you could say that; I sometimes can't help but think he's like my little brother or something," she chuckled at her statement, "I guess that's why it seems like we're always butting heads."

The sandy haired woman only nodded and smiled as she watched her counterpart's features lightened and darkened with every word she spoke.

* * *

_Months later…_

"_What kind of person would name their son – son being the operative word – after a fruit?"_

_They were sitting on the rooftop of one of the school buildings eating their lunch. The tangerine slumped lazily against the wall as the girl beside him ranted and talked about different things all at once; how she could do such a feat was beyond him. Tatsuki sat a few meters away, flailing her arms wildly in a deep one-sided conversation she was having with their quiet friend Sado. _

_The tangerine looked down at the raven haired girl, a dangerous glare in his eyes as her mysterious cobalt eyes peered up at him. _

"_My parents are the kind of people who would name their kid after a fruit. Besides, that's not the only meaning my name has, idiot." _

_Her eyebrow shot up as her eyes gleamed contemptuously at his nonchalant demeanor. 'Ass!' _

"_Oh? I see. Well Mr. Strawberry could you please educate a simpleton like me?" she asked pointedly as she jabbed him in the shoulder and leaned toward his face. _

_He peered down at her, mildly surprised by how close she was to him when a minute ago it wasn't nearly as close. He could vividly see the devilish sparkle in her purplish-blue eyes and the barely there crease in her forehead in her forehead that told him she was waiting for an answer. He turned his head away and closed his eyes as he completed his sandwich, taking his sweet time as he made her shift with impatience._

"_Well," he began, when he deemed she'd waited long enough, "Ichi' means one and 'go' means guardian, so the name Ichigo would mean 'to protect one thing." He ended, as he polished off his drink. "Even a simpleton like you can understand right?" he taunted as a sly smirk tipped his lips._

'_Why, why you!' she thought heatedly as a cryptic smile pulled her lips upward. "Well thank you 'Mr. Guardian,' I'll remember that next time I buy my strawberries, maybe they'll protect me from harm." She goaded as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms. 'Bastard!'_

_His eyes narrowed her as he leaned in toward her cranium and growled at her. "Say what?"_

_She mechanically turned her head toward him and leaned her face near his, almost touching her nose with his as she did so. "Did I stutter? I don't think so. I'm pretty sure you heard me!" she said deathly low as his eyebrow twitched._

_During this brief encounter Tatsuki abruptly stopped what she was saying when she felt an ominous aura prick the hairs on the back of her neck. She turned to witness her two friends having a heated battle with their eyes and as she watched them a brilliant idea popped into her head as a devilish smirk made its way onto her face. She turned to Sado who was still waiting on her to finish her story and promptly told him to be quiet as she acted out the plan._

_Right now he'd be stating the obvious if he said she was pretty. He couldn't help but be mesmerized by the way her cobalt eyes gleamed in the sun; although they were filled with anger mattered not to him, they were as pretty as the crystalline water on a sunny afternoon. He was actually glad that they were glaring each other down like this because it gave him a chance to stare into her eyes without feeling embarrassed or guilty for gawking too long. But he wouldn't dare show his complacent nature on his countenance; instead he would look at her with those stony, glaring eyes. _

_To her, staring into his eyes further solidified the overbearing fact that he was an enigma; and a quite handsome one at that. She could see the sea of emotions rolling and tumbling somewhere in the depth of those irises, but she felt as if she was on a cliff, far away from ever coming in contact with the shore of that sea. She wanted find out more about the boy with fierce eyes and flashy hair but she didn't know how to go about it; so for the time being she would return his glare with all the ferocity she had in her soul. _

_They were so caught up in the battle of their eyes that they completely forgot about their other two companions sitting on the roof with them. The pair also didn't notice the dark haired girl slowly creeping up behind the tangerine. They only seemed to snap out of their trance when the dark haired girl kicked the tangerine's back and sent him tumbling onto the small raven haired girl. _

_It was only when his top lip pressed roughly against her bottom lip did he realize that he was way too close to her face – and her body for that matter. Her arms automatically flew up to push him off of her, but with his body weight and the driving force of Tatsuki's foot, her arms quickly crumbled under the pressure. Instead she found herself laying on the ground, her hands pressed against his warm chest, her legs haphazardly tangled with his, and his lip conveniently placed onto hers as he stared wide eyed at her. _

_It took both of them a minute or so to comprehend the intimate position they were in; and when they did, they unscrambled from each other with lightening speed. _

_He looked at her, a bit bewildered as he tried to wipe the feeling of her from his lips. The scowl on his face became more defined as he realized who the culprit was. 'Tatsuki!' _

_But before he could get to her she was already through the door smiling slyly as she left with Sado. "I think you two might need some alone time!" she yelled before she closed the door and left them on the roof. _

'_That little…I'll get her for this!' he thought threateningly as he continued to wipe at his lips. _

_But all the thoughts of Tatsuki and revenge were forgotten when he saw the strange enigmatic look tattooed on the raven-haired girls countenance as she stared with perplexed eyes. _

"_Hey, are you okay?" he queried as he crawled to her and began to inspect her face, "I know I fell kinda hard on you so if you need to go to the nurses office just tell me…we'll make up something."_

_She didn't realize how close he had crawled until those concerned chocolate eyes were all that filled her vision. He still wore that signature scowl on his face but there were also concern lines printed across his face; although they were small and almost insignificant she could clearly see the creases drawn across his features. Her eyes immediately shot down toward his lips and silently studied the appendage that looked as thin as paper._

'_I don't get it. They look deathly thin and unappealing in that scowl, but…they were so soft and full against my…' a heated blush flew across her face at her thought process and she immediately shoved the tangerine away from her as she hid her face. She stood a little too quickly and began fixing her disoriented uniform as she dusted herself off. _

"_I'm fine I'm fine," she lied as her back cried out from the sudden movement. She pivoted on her heel and began walking back toward the door, "Come on Ichigo! Lunch period is almost over, we'll be in trouble if we're late!"_

'_Come on Rukia this is Ichigo! Ichigo! I should __**not**__ be having those kinds of thoughts about him!'_

_He blinked furiously at her small back and began to pick up their lunch items as questions began to fill his mind. 'I know it was an embarrassing situation but she's acting all awkward now. Maybe I'm not that bothered because I…' he stopped in the middle of his though and shook his head ruefully, 'this is Rukia I'm talking about, I shouldn't be having those kinds of thoughts about her; besides, the feelings aren't mutual.' he thought as he straightened his own uniform and walked behind her. _

_Weeks later…_

"_Eh? You're a part of the writing club?"_

_They were lying near the bank of the river enjoying the scent of salt and the cool air that surrounded the river. The tangerine stared at the sky in an aloof manner as the girl beside him chatted about nothing in particular. She was curled close to his slender body, enjoying the warmth that radiated off of his frame as she talked. _

"_Are you going to answer my question?" she said after he did not respond. _

_His glare shifted from the sky to her petite face as he contemplated a response to her inquiry. _

"_What if I am?" he countered as he eyed her skeptically. _

_She shrugged her shoulders as she snuggled closer to his warmth. "I never would've guessed that the great detached Kurosaki would be in a club that requires so much finesse; you might actually have a sensitive side after all."_

_He snorted at her statement and looked back to the sky, "Don't get your hopes up. I only joined because it's easy and I don't have to do anything."_

_But his statement was far from the truth. In his junior high years the tangerine had shown exceptional skills in the literary field. He had written dozens of creative essays and submitted them to the school paper under the guise of a pen name. When it was found out by the high school writing club that Kurosaki Ichigo – the only junior high student at that time who could take on a gang of thugs and leave without a scratch – had written those essays, he became an immediate shoo in for the club. During his third year, he had been constantly pestered and followed by the members of the club. It wasn't until they resorted to threatening him that he finally conceded and joined; it wasn't a threat of physical harm – he was positive he could handle them with ease – it was more of a threat to his reputation. If he refused to join the club they threatened to tell the whole school about his guilty pleasure; and that in itself was enough to make him join the following day._

_But he thoroughly enjoyed it. Although he still kept his pen name, he received critical acclaim from his club members and teachers who oversaw the club. He had already received numerous offers from prestigious colleges, offering to let him study at their college, if he wrote articles for them. Yet, he managed to keep his talent hidden and under wraps, only letting a select few know of his skill. _

_One day he would venture to tell the girl snuggled against him of his talent and secret ambitions that he hid; but that day would be far off in the future. He wasn't ready to open himself up to her like that when their relationship was still in the probationary period. He would only tell her when she managed to break down the steel barriers that guarded his heat. _

_So for right now, he would be content with her being at his side like this._

_But she had other plans; plans that he would soon acquaint himself with. _

"Those first few months when they were dating were wonderful; they were so…into each other you know? Ichigo was a bit standoffish and would only tell her surface details but she didn't seem to mind at the time. It was like…a fairytale; but I guess that's how all relationships start off right? Because it wasn't long before everything came crashing down in front of my eyes."

_Sometime next year_

"_Tatsuki do you think it's possible to change a person?"_

_They were in the girl's locker room, dressing out of their uniforms when the small girl popped the question. Tatsuki lifted her blouse over her head and dug into her locker for the shirt she was looking for as she contemplated an answer to her question._

"_Depends on whether or not the person wants to change." She answered before she put on a pale colored shirt, "What do you want to change about Ichigo?" she asked as she peered at the girl, one of her eyebrows quirked a little higher than the other._

_The small raven was mildly surprised that Tatsuki had caught on so quickly; but then she realized that it was the only rational thought pattern for her. Usually when she came to Tatsuki with some ambiguous mysterious question it usually had to do with the tangerine._

_But now that the question she had wanted her to ask had been asked she didn't know how to reply. Wouldn't it sound stupid and childish if she said she just wanted him to show a little affection of some sort? But she couldn't help how she felt and that was the way she felt in her heart; it felt as if sometimes he simply didn't care whether he was with her or not. Sometimes when she looked at his stony glare, it was impossible to tell how he really felt for her. _

_But then there were other times when, if only for an instant, he would bring her closer to the ocean of his emotions. Sometimes his glare would temporarily falter and those subterranean eyes would show an array of emotions – love, concern, embarrassment, happiness, sadness, uncertainty – for only an instant, he would let her see the insecurities that he held deep within his heart; for only a second she was as sure as the day is long about what he felt for her._

_But those moments of the softening of his glare were few and fleeting. She only wanted to be closer to the boy that had stolen her heart; she only wanted him to be comfortable enough around her to show her that look all the time. _

_As her mind fought back to the present, she found that Tatsuki was still standing in the same position by her locker, patiently waiting for an answer. She shifted on her feet as she turned away from the girls' unnerving stare._

"_Ah, I know what you're thinking Rukia. Ichigo's just a tad bit too cold isn't he?" she said as she dug into her locker once again. "I mean he barely shows any emotion besides anger and twenty three hours of the day is the biggest ass you've ever met right?" she only smirked when she saw the look on the girl's face, telling her that what she said was the truth, "But that's just Ichigo. You have to take him as he is or reject him completely. He won't stand for people trying to pick him apart and take the qualities they like about him while discarding his not so favorable traits. That's why he's so cold to everyone; it's easier to weed out the genuine from the fake that way."_

"_But I'm his girlfriend Tatsuki! Shouldn't he at least treat me a little differently! She questioned as she glared at the girl. _

_The girl shrugged as she pulled out a pair of worn tennis shoes from her locker and made her way to the bench. "Well, that would be even more of a reason he would be a little bit more standoffish. He likes you Rukia, cares for you; he probably even loves you. And the simple fact that you are his girlfriend gives you the power to cause him pain. He's never been really big on material things or showing how he likes someone or something in a conventional way; he's a bit more caring and thoughtful when it comes to that area; to him it's the little things that count."_

_The raven reflected on what the girl said and realized that it wasn't a complete lie. The tangerine almost never walked by her side. Instead he preferred to be a little ahead or behind, as if he was her body guard from any danger that could cause her harm. When she was ever feeling cold or a little lonely he would always hold her a little tighter when they sat by the river or try to talk a little more to lift her spirits. He would never try to dominant her and take control; sometimes he would kiss her softly on her cheek, as if asking for permission to really kiss her; and he'd always stop when he sensed things were about to go overboard. _

_She realized that he was more in tune with her feelings than she had previously thought, but that didn't stop this emptiness that continued to fill her. Maybe she was being selfish, maybe she was being too anal about the situation, but she wanted that loving side of the tangerine all the time; she didn't care if he was a complete bastard around everyone else. As long as she was allowed to see that side of him, everything would be okay. _

"_Well, Tatsuki, sometimes it's the big things that count too," she said, a hint of disdain in her voice as she looked away from the girls surprised stare. "Call me an idiot, call me selfish, call me a fool; I don't care! Have you ever thought about how I feel Tatsuki? Have you ever thought that all this 'testing' makes me feel like he doesn't even care about me; like he doesn't even love me? All I want is to feel loved by the boy I love. Is that really asking a lot?"_

"_I…I guess it isn't." she admonished as she scratched her head. "I've been by Ichigo's side for a while now and I know something like that won't go over so easy with him; after all he is still a complete ass when it comes to things like this. Just…just try to understand him a little okay? We are second year's now, we have to make good memories remember?" she stood, walked toward the raven and patted her on the back as she spoke, "Don't worry, everything will work itself out."_

_Rest assured, they'd make memories, but they wouldn't be the happy kind. _

"_So what do you think about this proposal Kurosaki?"_

_The tangerine shrugged his shoulders, seemingly apathetic about the plan presented to him; but underneath his calm exterior his emotions were jumbled –happiness, worry, anxiety – they all clouded his heart at this moment. Speaking strictly in terms of moving up the rungs of success it was obvious that he should choose the choice A. But what would he have to leave behind if he made such a decision? What would he have to lose to gain?_

_His writings in the high school newspaper were starting to pay off. Not only were colleges after him, major publishing companies also wanted to have his talent on their side. A publishing company in Itabashi – another province of Tokyo – was offering to pay him a decent salary plus royalties if he signed with them and wrote stories. He would have the nicest house on the block if he wanted it. If he ever wanted to fly, it'd be first class; if he ever wanted to vacation for thirty days and build up a tab of hundred thousands, he could do it. It was a deal that few were offered and all would take, but there were also stipulations._

_In his third year, he would have to take accelerated classes at the local college; most preferably doubling up on classes to finish his preliminary degree faster. He would still graduate with his high school peers, but would also have a degree under his belt. After completing high school, he would immediately have to move to Itabashi to study at the school with one of the best writing programs in Tokyo. The publishing company would pay for his tuition and living expenses only if he wrote at least one book while in his final two years in college. It was a hectic schedule that the tangerine had to adhere strictly to, but if he stuck with it, the rewards he would reap would be great. _

_He wouldn't have to worry about where money for college was coming from. He wouldn't have to worry about who would employee him after graduation. He wouldn't even have to worry how his bills were going to be paid. He would be set for the good life if he simply agreed and worked hard. _

_But, if he did accept the offer, what would become of him and Rukia? Would she be happy? Would she be willing to move with him? Would she be willing to tolerate him when the workload became too much for him to handle by himself? Would she stay by his side?_

_Would she leave him?_

_He didn't want to leave her behind just because of this opportunity; he still wanted her to be by his side like she had been. He never wanted to part from her._

"_You have a quite a bit of time before your third year Kurosaki so you should analyze this and decide if it's really what you want. But in the meantime, you will continue to write your stories in the local paper and we will have them periodically sent to the publishing company in Itabashi. Also, sometime in the last month of your second year, the chief editor of the company said she will personally come to visit and get your answer at that time. So Kurosaki, don't ruin this for yourself! Stop getting into so many fights and get the best marks that you can. We wouldn't want the editor to think your some type of hooligan!"_

_He glared at his teacher a moment before he stood and made his way from her office. He was elated that such an opportunity had been presented to him, but was also anxious about what his decision would be and how it would change his life. He would have to leave everything, and everyone behind for this opportunity. Would they be willing to wait for him?_

_He didn't want to think about the answer to that question_

_Sometimes he really couldn't understand her. He'd try and he'd try hard but sometimes the puzzle that was her always had more than a few pieces either hidden or lost. She'd been on this thing about him changing for months now and it seemed as if she wouldn't stop until she got results. She could really get under his skin sometimes with the things she said, but it'd always end the same way. _

_They both would tire of the constant arguing and he'd grab her by the shoulders and pull her into a fierce kiss to silence her. She would kiss him back with all the ferocity her words meant to say and he'd do the same. One thing would lead to another and…some way or another she would end up wrapped in his arms while she panted her discontents into his ear and nibbled on his lobe. She would always fall asleep in his warm embrace, all the while frowning and saying incomprehensible words to him. _

_She was going to be the death of him; but she was also the only reason he carried on. She was an oxymoron, a contradiction, an enigma; all wrapped inside a four foot eleven inch package. _

_And lust wasn't the only thing she brought out of him._

_He took note of the fact that he'd been more aggressive towards her and others. Before her nagging started he never would've grabbed her the way he had been doing. He'd never kiss her without asking and he'd never, __**ever**__ touch her in the ways he had touched her. But instead of revolting his touch and his attitude, it was as if she thrived from it. She would never push him away; instead she would pull him closer; she'd tell him things that served to only make him more aggressive. _

_But it wasn't necessarily a good thing either. _

_He felt as if she always doubted him, as if he was always not good enough. He wasn't tall enough, he wasn't built enough, he wasn't affectionate enough; he just wasn't enough. He was frustrated that he couldn't make her happy; he couldn't please her; he couldn't figure out the damn games and riddles she always played. _

_In turn the frustration and pent up rage he felt were always directed to the innocent and unsuspecting; his classmates, his sensei, his friends, his family. Anyone who happened to be close enough to him when he was on the verge of cracking were always the victims. But it was never Rukia, never; because he was her victim. _

_The cycle was lethal, and he was sure that if it didn't end, he'd end up alone in more ways than one. He needed a release; they needed a resolution. _

_The cycle was starting to affect his grades and his writing. One day he'd be so high on life and so in love with the girl he called Rukia that he couldn't help but write. But other days when he'd succumbed to his feelings of lust and anger for the girl he was at his darkest, his lowest, and also at the times when he neglected everything that didn't have to do with her. _

_She was poison, but she was also the antidote. She was the sledgehammer than broke his leg, but the cast that helped repair it. She was his everything, she was his nothing. _

_She was Rukia, his girlfriend. _

_Their second year was coming to a close and he still hadn't decided on whether to accept the generous offer or not. _

_But luckily that decision would be made for him. _

_February_

_It was after one of their worst fights when she met him. This time, he had actually managed to make her cry; even though she didn't show her tears to him, they unleashed themselves from her eyes when she left. Instead of kissing her like he usually did he stepped away from her and said the coldest words he could've mustered at that moment._

"_Why don't you just leave now? I don't need you anyway!"_

_She knew he probably didn't mean it; his voice cracked on almost every word and he tried his damndest not to look at her. But that wasn't the point. It didn't matter whether he meant it or not; the fact of the matter was that he had said it. Those words broke her heart in more ways than one and she didn't know when she'd be able to look him in the eye without belting out every insult she could think of. _

_She realized that they had been drifting apart long ago. She realized, but she still denied it. She still held on to that silly hope that if she could get him to change that everything would be alright. _

_Look at where that hope had gotten her. _

_She was sitting on the cold bench near her apartment building, too disheveled and hurt to see the faces of her parents and hear their concerned questions. She shivered visibly as a strong wind passed, making her wish that the tangerine was here so he could wrap his arms around her. Her tears were frozen ice sickles on her face and her nose instinctively drooled as an attempt to keep her warm._

_While sitting on this cold bench she also realized that the reason they had turned out like this was partially her fault. If she hadn't pushed him so far, he wouldn't have said those words. If she didn't insist on his changing he would be here holding her close and telling her that everything was going to be okay between them. If only she didn't, they wouldn't have ended up like this._

_She felt her tear ducts swell with warm salty liquid and before she knew it, the liquid slid from her eyes and onto her face. She hid her face as her body began to shake from her repressed sobs. It hurt so much, too much, and she was so cold. If only the coldness could be taken away she could bear it, but it was there; in his words and in his tone, the cold was there and it managed to follow her all the way to the spot where she sat._

"_Oi, don't you know it's not good to sit outside all by yourself? A creepy character will come and try to do some creepy things you know!" _

_Her head immediately shot up and she saw the vibrant color of red blowing glowing softly in the waning moonlight. Around his neck he wore a warm looking scarf that billowed at his sides and his broad shoulders were shrouded by a thick heavy jacket. He wore jeans that hugged his muscled legs and his hands were deeply stuffed into his pockets._

_She wiped at her nose before she responded. "What if you're that creepy character? Should I just kick you now and run?" she questioned as she placed part of her face behind her arms. She really didn't want to be bothered with this character at this moment. She was still wallowing in self pity and regret and would have liked it if she was uninterrupted. _

_But instead of leaving her alone, he took the cloth from his neck and handed it to her lowered head. _

"_You should put this on before you freeze to death. It's almost below zero and you're sitting out here without the proper coverings!"_

_She looked up again to belt her acid words to him but stopped when she saw his offering. He was waiting patiently for her to accept his outstretched hand and when she turned her head from his kind gesture he only nudged it towards her face. _

"_Don't be stubborn about it. You'll catch cold." _

_She looked back at him and instead saw hair the color of a tangerine and a stagnant frown on his face. She remembered the warm feeling that used to well up in her chest when she used to be in his warm arms and her throat immediately clogged up. She was on the verge of unleashing the tears again when she felt a warm cloth around her neck and the shifting of the bench. _

"_Now now, it'll be alright" he said reassuringly as he patted her softly on the back, "Whatever happened is not worth you getting sick over."_

"_What do you know?" she spat acerbically, "You just a stranger off the street."_

_He was quiet a moment before he retorted. "Yea that might be true. But you can tell me what happened. After all I'm just a stranger."_

_At his suggestion, the dam on her emotions and mouth burst. She couldn't help but tell him about the past year and a half that she'd been dating the tangerine. She told him everything; the good, the bad, and all the in between. When she was done telling him of her tumultuous relationship with the him she was sobbing uncontrollably but she felt good. It felt good to finally release the emotions she had boiling inside for so long; strangely she felt liberated. _

"_I feel a bit guilty. I've dumped all my problems on you." She said, laughing lightly at her disheveled state._

"_Don't be, I don't mind hearing your problems" he responded as he looked at the ever glowing pale moon._

_A long silence dragged between them and before she knew she had spoken a question slipped from her mouth. "What's your name? Mine is Rukia."_

_He looked over at her a little surprised that she'd asked such a random question like that before his cheeks dimpled into a smile. _

"_Renji. Nice to meet you Rukia."_

_And in that simple question of names, their fate was sealed. _

_They were no longer just strangers._

_When he saw their lips lock, his heart shattered and all rational thought left his head. He had grown taller since his first year and his height aided him toward the figure that was holding Rukia. _

_His Rukia; his girlfriend._

_He roughly pushed them apart and was about to punch the young man in the face before a frantic voice called out to him. _

"_Ichigo don't!"_

_He stopped to look at her frantic face before he swung his fist forward, effectively aiming for the red head's nose. _

_But he missed and the red head countered and punched him in the stomach. _

"_No Rukia don't. He's a man; he should fight for something he really wants."_

_He doubled over on the ground holding his stomach that cramped and threatened to regurgitate everything he'd eaten. He glared dangerously at the figure and before he caught his breath, his anger brought him to his feet as his fist once again poised themselves to hit him._

_For several minutes the only sound audible was the sound of labored breathing and bruised flesh. The tangerine would strike the ruby, but the ruby would counter and attack as well. They were vicious, skilled fists that were being thrown at him and before he knew it, he was laid out on the ground, his face bruised with knots and cuts as his heart beat weakly next to him. The last thing he saw was Rukia's worried cobalt eyes before everything around him turned to black. _

_When he awoke he found himself in his room. His bruised ribcage was wrapped tightly in bandages and his face throbbed from the medicine that had been applied. He looked over and saw a small girl sitting in a chair before his bed._

"_What're doing here?" he drawled out, his voice still managing to sound just as acerbic and heartless although it was weak._

"_Ichigo…I…I just wanted to talk to you about what-what happened." She replied quietly._

"_Talk about what?" he spat, "There's nothing to talk about, your actions said it all." He was hurt, beyond hurt but he wouldn't let her revel in the fact that she managed to do such a feat. He wouldn't let her see just what see had done to his heart. _

"_As usual, you're not letting me in." she said matter-of-factly as she stared up at the ceiling. "Ichigo…I-I just want you to understand."_

_At those words he turned his whole body away from her and faced his window as he ignored the pain that shot through his body from the sudden movement. He saw big puffy dark clouds filling the whole sky and saw the wind rusting the leaves against the window. The birds that usually chirped outside his window were not there today and the world became dark as he closed his eyes from the dull scenery._

_Understand? She just wanted him to understand? What was there to __**understand**__? He caught her locking lips with another guy; that action in itself was pretty self explanatory._

"_Listen Ichigo," she said, not giving him an opportunity to retort, "After that last fight we had I realized that everything was just out of wack. We were already drifting apart Ichigo and you know it. What…what you said only solidified that fact." She took a breath before she continued, "That's when I met him. I-I didn't mean for anything to happen between us. He was there to listen and I just needed someone, anyone to be there. Be-before I knew what happened I had started falling for him. Ichigo…I-I still love you but I can't be with you. I'm-we aren't good for each other."_

"_So it's over?" he questioned as he rolled towards her, his chocolate eyes locking onto hers. They held an insurmountable amount of hurt she couldn't possibly fathom in those depths and throbbed with pain. They held an anger that couldn't be defined by words; only actions could begin to tell the tale. His eyes, he showed all to her in that moment and it broke her heart. Right here, right now, he was giving her all she had been fighting for. He was showing how he really felt. His frown had morphed into a pout and his lips that were usually deathly thin were puffed out to their normal size. She felt the tears well up in her eyes and she opened her mouth to say something, anything but no words came out._

"_Get out."_

_She heard the words but the tangerine's mouth didn't move. Instead, his eyes took on that hollow look she'd associated with them and his eyebrows once again came down at a sharp angle over his eyes as his lips thinned out. She blinked once, twice, before that venom voice filled her ears again._

"_I said get out!"_

_She turned to witness Tatsuki's darkly glowing eyes and heavy threatening aura. Her face was drawn in tight rage and her knuckles were a deathly color of white as she clenched and unclenched her hands. She took long strides toward the short girl before she stood a few feet away from her._

"_I can't believe you Rukia! I-I can't believe you'd…" she couldn't finish the sentence that was on the tip of her tongue, "…I-I just need you to get out now!"_

_The raven became defensive as she saw the darkness in Tatsuki's eyes. She couldn't help but think that something maybe have been going on between those two when she came to the tangerine's aid with such diligence and quickness._

"_Who are you to Ichigo, Tatsuki? Aren't you just his friend? Or do you feel something more for Ichigo than that?"_

_Tatsuki stepped closer, her lithe build towering over the short girl. "You're right I do feel something more for than friendship for Ichigo; he's like a brother! And a sister would never sit back and watch her brother get hurt anymore than he's already hurting!"_

_She was about to retort to Tatsuki's acerbic words but stopped when she heard the tangerine's calm voice. "Rukia…you'd better leave before Tatsuki get's really mad. I can't be responsible for what she does."_

_His words were cold as ice towards her and his head was once again turned toward the window. He clutched his sheets as the sound of rain started to patter outside of his window. The only audible sound was the pattering of the rain and the slight wheezing of the tangerine._

"_Ichigo…I-I'm sorry for the way things turned out." she said quickly before her footsteps faded and the door closed. _

_Tatsuki's tense shoulders relaxed a little and she sat in the seat that had been occupied by the raven. Her head was hung low and tears started to distort her vision._

"_You know, you didn't have to do that, I could've handled it myself." his solemn voice hit her ears with a hollowness and pain that at this moment was just impossible to hide. She could feel the pain coming from him in waves and it made her want to go after Rukia and give her everything she deserved for hurting him._

'_He hates the rain' she thought as the pitter patter became louder and more obnoxious against his windowsill. She didn't know what to say to him in this moment. But she knew that she couldn't leave him alone. Not when he was hurting this bad and was this vulnerable. She would stay with him to the end and be by his side. If anything she had to help him be happy because she knew, she could never be satisfied if this boy before her was living in pain._

"_Teh, well just thank me for coming." _

_A week after his recovery and two weeks before the editor from Itabashi was said to arrive, the he went on a rampage. For two weeks after his break up with Rukia he had been coping fine; or rather he'd been ignoring his emotions all together. It was an easy feat do to because for that first week he was bedridden and didn't have to deal with any outside influences speaking into his ear. He figured if he just ignored them altogether it would become almost nonexistent in his mind; just like __**that **__girl was almost nonexistent in his heart. _

_But the truth was she was always in his mind and heart. When he wasn't trying his best to not think about her, that vision of her kissing the red head would pop into his head and his heart – that was trying to tape itself together – would shatter all over again. But those moments were few and far in between so he figured he could manage._

_However, when he went back to school everything changed. He was now around his classmates who snickered behind his back and said all the things that he'd been thinking all along. He now had to look at her sitting there prettily, like nothing ever happened. It was becoming too much for his psyche to bear._

'_It was only a matter of time before they broke up.'_

'_Look at him; she was way too pretty for him anyway.'_

'_Serves him right, he should treat people better.'_

'_He deserves to be alone.'_

'_Have you heard? I hear she broke up with him for another guy.'_

_It was at the end of the first week back when he finally snapped. It was shortly after the bell rang and the students began to exit the class. He gathered his belongings, happy to have the day end so he didn't have to sit by the girl that shredded his heart. It was on his way out of the class that the boy said it. Tomoya Kekkai, one of the smartest and most handsome boys in their class made a snide remark to one of his friends about the tangerine and his relationship. But unbeknownst to him, the tangerine's acute hearing picked up on what he said. _

_As quick as lightening, the tangerine turned toward the boy, geared his fist, and decked the boy in the nose sending him flying back unto his rear. He dropped his bag and proceeded to walk over to the boy, jumped on him and hit the boy repeatedly across the face. _

_Right, left, right, left._

_The boy tried to block with his arms but soon they became battered from the tangerine's swift heavy punches._

_Left, right, left, right._

_The tangerine's vision was blurred, the only thing he was able to see was the vision of Rukia and the only thing he heard was this boys words. His classmates stared in a mix of awe, fear, disgust. They whispered their worries for the boy getting pummeled but none tried to step forward and save him._

_Tatsuki, who was one of the first ones to leave, heard the loud whispers coming from her classroom. She turned to see an ever-growing pile of students standing at the door. When she didn't see that flashy color of hair walking away from the crowd, she immediately doubled back and returned to her class._

_She roughly pushed her way through the immovable mounds of students and was met with the sight of the boy in question about to kill one of their classmates. She called his name, and only with the strength she possessed she pulled him from the boy and fell back, pulling him back with her. His fist were covered in the boy's blood and his face was dark in a rage that had been building up for weeks. It still wasn't enough. Even though the boy was on the floor groaning and almost unconscious from the brutal beating, it still wasn't enough._

_He wasn't feeling the pain that was in his heart. He wasn't feeling the pain that couldn't be seen. He had to instill what kind of pain he was feeling into this boy and his state right now, just wasn't enough. He made a move to attack the boy, but Tatsuki's strong hold on his arms kept him away._

"_Get a hold of yourself Ichigo! Are you gonna throw away your future and everything you've worked for over her?" she said, throwing her head over her shoulder in reference to the girl that stared wide eyed at the two. _

_He looked back and out the corner of his eye saw Rukia, wide-eyed and in disbelief. He glowered at her before looking away, the pain in his heart amplifying itself with every second he starred. He then focused his attention on Tatsuki's face and upon seeing the worry and pain planted there, he felt his body go limp as the pent up hostility and anger left his being. This girl, through everything was still here, still rooting in his corner when he swore he didn't have an ally in this world. He bowed his head as he felt an apple core lodge in his throat. _

"_We should take him to the clinic." _

_She was a bit taken aback at his suggestion but upon studying the battered boy's face agreed. She let go of the tangerine and he slowly stood, walked toward the boy – who was now unconscious – and picked him up. The students at the door parted like the red sea for the boy and no one dared to look the tangerine in the eye. Tatsuki followed closely behind the boy and what happened in that classroom would never be spoken among the students._

_Two days before the editor's coming to Karakura, the tangerine was standing down by the river, ready to face off a group of boys that had called him out. Almost every day after he attacked Tomoya from his class, he'd been getting into brawls with anyone that dared speak two wrong words to him. Today wasn't any different, they threatened him and he told them to meet him here where they would meet their maker. _

_He wasted no time in attacking, first going for one of the weaker looking boys and taking him out quickly. His moves were swift and powerful and one by one he took the boys out. He was almost done finishing one of the last boys when a heavy object was cracked on his back. His movements abruptly stopped and he saw the culprit who'd did such a dirty trick. _

_It was the leader of one of the gangs that he had beaten up in the past. He held a supercilious grin on his face and behind him at least five boys stood, ready to take aim on him. He growled low in his throat, realizing now that this was all a set up by the two leaders of the gangs. The boys who had been taken out stood and they all surrounded the tangerine, ready to strike down on him._

"_Let's get em boys."_

_To him it seemed like hours before the beatings ended. Feet, hands, clubs; they were all aimed at his frame, battering and bruising the tangerine to an almost unrecognizable state. They all laughed and spat, kicked and cursed him as blood drawled out from the numerous lacerations across his body. _

_He figured he deserved it, he figured that this was karma bitching at him for going on a rampage like that. He knew he deserved it, and that only increased the loneliness he'd been feeling this whole time. He pushed everyone away with his fist, because he didn't want to be hurt again. He pushed everyone away and now there was no one to help him, no one to come save him. He had no friends, no allies. He only had enemies and more enemies; enemies he had made because of the pain he was feeling in his heart. _

_He knew he was slipping into unconsciousness and he accepted it. He thought when the kicking lessened it was just his body growing numb from the pain; he thought he was drawing closer to unconsciousness. _

_But he didn't know it was Tatsuki's powerful legs taking the thugs out one by one or Sado's heavy arms throwing them away from the boy. When he heard heavy breathing that was not his own, he realized that he was not alone. He peeked a lacerated eye open to witness Tatsuki bending over panting and Sado's heavy build next to the girl. _

_After she caught her breath, she stood tall and looked at the tangerine with angry eyes. _

"_You idiot! You should've told us you were coming here; you know we would've helped you out!"_

_But the truth was, he didn't know. He didn't know that he had two friends that would stay by him even when he was at his lowest. He didn't know that these two wouldn't walk away when he was like this. For the first time in a while, he heart welled up with an emotion that didn't have to do with despair, hurt, or sadness. _

"_Promise me…" he wheezed as he sat up, his flashy bangs covering his eyes, "promise me that you'll never leave! Promise me that you'll stay by my side forever!"_

_They were both taken aback by his plea but Tatsuki looked off toward the river and spoke, "You idiot, you know that we'll always be here for you. We've been friends for as long as I can remember right?"_

_It was true. Him and Tatsuki had known each other since the womb, they had both joined the karate academy when they were four, she was the only one there when his mother died and she was the only girl that was man enough to stand by his side and fight alongside him. Then there was Sado who had come a little after his mother passed. He was a quiet fellow, but would do anything necessary for his friends. He proved it when Tatsuki couldn't be there to help beat back the masses and proved his strength and resilience many times in fights. He was the only guy he could go to when there were 'man things' he wanted to talk about._

_The tangerine realized that these two people always had his back, and that it'd always be that way. He realized that they'd never leave. But knowing and hearing were two different things. Right now, more than anything, he needed to hear that they would be there, that they wouldn't leave, ever._

"_Promise me!" he said again, he weak fist clenching the grass, "I want to become stronger…I want to be better than I am right now and I can't do it by myself! So you have to promise!"_

_The girl sighed and looked at the tangerine's disheveled state. She walked towards him and took one of his battered arms, placed it behind her back, and helped him to his feet._

"_I promise," she said quietly as she helped him walk towards Sado, "I promise that I'll never leave; I'll stay by your side forever."_

_Sado nodded his head and his baritone voice filled his ears. "Promise; I'll also never leave; I'll be by your side forever."_

"_Kurosaki, your marks have slipped and your writing has become atrocious! You've been getting into fights with these shady characters and even put one of our top students in the hospital! The chance of the editor requesting that you write for the publishing company has fallen considerably! What do you have to say for yourself, young man?"_

_He stood erect, his face covered in bandages from the beating he had sustained. The tangerine bowed low to his teacher and in his most remorseful voice he spoke, "I'm sorry sensei. I-I've disappointed you haven't I? I've done everything that you told me not to and now my chance at a future is almost nonexistent. But…" he started as he stood erect once again, "…but I promise I won't disappoint sensei anymore. I promise before my third year that I'll write the best stories I can and that my marks will improve. I promise that I'll make you proud sensei!"_

_His eyes were burning at her, but they weren't a flame with rage or anger or any emotion of the sort. His eyes were filled with a heavy resolve to succeed to do better than what he had been doing. He'd show everyone that they were wrong about what they said; he'd show them all that he could go on after all. And above all else, he'd show Rukia that he could live without her; that he could thrive without her at this side. _

"_Oi, is this the famous Kurosaki Ichigo? I thought that with a name like that you wouldn't look so scary and confrontational!"_

_The tangerine's eyebrow quirked high on his forehead as a forced smile split his face. He had also done some researching into this publishing company and the editor that stood before him was something of a prodigy herself. She was only a few of years older than he, and already was at the top of the editorial world. In her high school years she had started taken college courses and by the time she had graduated she was already getting job offers to be an editor for major publishing companies. In the matter of months she had made her way to the top of the editorial chain and was now the chief editor of the company in Itabashi. She was very accomplished for her age, but that wasn't the only thing she managed to accomplish._

_Somehow she managed to find the time for a boyfriend to which she was currently betrothed to. How she managed to find time to date while she was out being a go-getter was beyond his comprehension. But it was fact; the pretty diamond ring on her finger and the glow in her hazel eyes told him it was no lie. He'd heard that the man she was engaged to was a looney but also a genius in the field of science. He was still in school working on his degree but managed to make a living from the weird inventions he created in his home._

"_Oi, do you have anyone your seeing right now Ichigo?" he shook his head no. "Oh I wonder why. You're not at that bad looking. Maybe it's that hideous frown that scares them off." She said matter-of-factly as she grinned at the young man that was now glaring daggers at her. _

"_I thought we were just here to talk about my signing with your publishing company Ms. Shihouin" he said through clenched teeth. _

"_Are you saying you don't want to tell me about yourself Ichigo? A good editor always knows something about her could be clients before she takes them under her wing."_

_He was on the verge of saying something not-so-nice before his teacher caught his look and silenced him with her eyes. _

"_Listen Ms. Shihouin, I would be glad to accept the generous offer your-" he was abruptly cut off as she put her dark finger to his lips and took out her phone that buzzed in her pocket. She flipped it open and began speaking to whoever was on the other line as she completely ignored the tangerine. _

_Her current action was the straw that broke the camel's back. He stood too quickly for his teacher to give her death look and without a word he plucked the phone from her hand and said, "Sorry, you'll have to call back later," and flipped the phone shut._

"_What'd you do that for?" she said with a pout on her face and in her voice, "That was a very important call."_

"_Then what do you call this!" he yelled at her, "Is this supposed to be some outing with a friend! The rest of my career depends on your answer if you didn't happen to know!" _

_The dark-skinned woman eyed him a second more before a face splitting smirk trounced onto her countenance. "You've got spunk Ichigo! I like that about you! I don't think anyone else would've snatched a phone from their potential employer no matter how rude it might have been!"_

"_What are you trying to get at Ms. Shihouin?" he said, his grip tightening on the phone. _

"_Anyone can be a good writer. But it's something to step into the realm of greatness. A great writer has to have spirit and a strong will and that's exactly what you've got Ichigo; congratulations, you pass!" _

_He blinked once, twice, three times before he comprehended her words. "Pass? What does that mean?" _

"_It means you're our new edition to our company. Now can I please have my phone back?"_

_He happily dropped the phone into her outstretched hand before she smiled and spoke again. "Good, now don't fall behind Ichigo! Hopefully I'll see you in a year from now!"_

_He plopped in his seat. Too stunned to do anything else. He heard the congratulations of his teacher somewhere in the background noise but paid no mind. _

_Finally, things were starting to look a little brighter. _

_It was after his graduation ceremony when he talked to her again. He was sitting down by a large Sakura tree, letting the petals fall on him as he looked up contently at the sky. The furrow in his eyebrow was a little less pronounced and the scowl at his lips a little less prevalent. His hair blew softly in the wind and he closed his eyes as the sun peeked from behind the clouds and shone gently upon him. _

_She saw him from the distance and was enthralled by the way he looked so…at peace. One of his legs was sprawled out while the other curled near his body, his forearm resting upon it. His head leaned to the side as the wind softly blew his tresses across his face. His eyes were closed and the frown she was so used to seeing wasn't there. 'He's grown hasn't he?' she pondered as she stared at his countenance. His jaw line had become a little more pronounced, his face looked a little more slender and less baby-like. She bent down in front of him and stared at him for a long time before her hand instinctively reached out and caressed the side of his face. _

_His eyes slowly opened and she felt her heart painfully throb when her eyes met with his chocolate irises. His hand came up and wrapped itself around hers as she titled her head and furrowed her brow. _

"_Ichigo…" she said, softly, serenely. His grip tightened and he gently pulled her hand away from his face. _

"_What are you doing here?" he asked, his tone lacking the viciousness that was usually intertwined with his vocals. _

_She smiled softly at him before she spoke. "Aren't you happy, we graduated today? We're finally moving on to the adult world."_

_He looked away from her soft gaze as he drew his leg toward himself. "What is it that you want Rukia?"_

_She felt ablaze of anger rise in her being for a second before it quickly fizzled out. Even after all they had been through, she thought he wouldn't treat her with the same causticity that he had when he would talk to others. She still felt as if she was different in his eyes. But she came to the realization that to him, she was just like everybody else, that she was no different from the kids who would taunt her or the strangers that would judge him based on his looks. _

"_I just wanted to say goodbye. We probably won't see each other much now." _

_He nodded in consent as he laid his head back against the trunk of the tree. _

"_Ichigo…" she whispered as she felt tears well up in her eyes, "…do you…hate me…for what I did to you?"_

_He looked back at her, a look of hurt quickly passing over his countenance before being replaced with the neutral look he bore. He sighed deeply before answering her inquiry. _

"_I tried to. I really did. For months I tried to hate you. I cursed your name, I thought of only how much of a horrible person you were, yet…I still loved you. Even now I still love you. I don't know if I'll ever stop loving you. But I've had to come to realize that you're not good for me, you're poison and I can never be with someone who made me feel the way you did." He chuckled before he continued, "Heh, even now, looking at you and being alone with you like this, I feel myself wanting to kiss you, wanting to experience what little happiness we did have, but...it's not worth it. You're not worth it." _

_Silent tears slid from her eyes as he finished, the pain in her heart worsening with every beat. He palmed her face with his hands, gently wiping the tears that leaked from her eyes. She leaned into his touch, wanting – needing – to feel his tender touch. He stood and pulled her up into an embrace hugging her with everything he had at that moment. He unwrapped himself from her and titled her head up with his hand. She peered into his subterranean depths, looking at what she had carelessly thrown away. A man, that would never leave her side, that would always be there for her no matter what may befall them, no matter what they were to face. She threw away a love that was unconditional and would never falter, no matter how much she would change. A part of her regretted the things she said and the way she treated him. But a bigger part of her knew that the events that took place were for the better. Even though she had hurt him and they hadn't lasted, it would make him stronger and more equipped to deal with the hardships of life he would face. _

_He placed his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes. "Goodbye…Rukia. I…I…love you." _

_He gingerly let go as he opened his eyes and stuck his hands into the depths of his pickets. The furrow in his brow hardened as he looked at the shining sun and turned away, leaving her there to wallow in her thoughts. _

"_I…love you too Ichigo." She whispered as she looked at him walk away, watching his lithe frame disappear into the distance._

* * *

"Kurosaki-kun has gone through a lot to get to where he is now hasn't he?"

The raven haired woman nodded and smiled, "Yea, but he's managed to achieve a lot in such a short period of time; it's only something that he could do. But…" she started as she crinkled her eyebrows, "…she didn't have to put him through that. He didn't-he didn't have to have his heart taken through the battlefield like that. Women like her…they are the worst! They disregard other people's hearts and emotions! They only care about what they want!"

A long silence dragged between the two women after her short rant. The sandy haired woman's eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed slightly before she spoke. "So what do you think of me Tatsuki-chan?"

The raven looked at her, a bit caught off guard by her unusual question. "What do you mean Orihime?"

"I'm…" she started as she looked away from her stare, "…I'm that same type of woman Tatsuki-chan. I started to have feelings for Kurosaki-kun when I was still with Uryuu-kun. I even went as far as to kiss Kurosaki-kun when I knew it would hurt Uryuu-kun. Since I'm the same as her, what do you think of me?"

"I-I…"she stuttered as she contemplated what to say, "I'm speechless." She knew that the period between her breakup with Uryuu and her get-together with Ichigo was a short time but she never would've guessed that something was going on while they were still dating. If this was true she would have to revise her image of her friend; she would have to change it to something that was a little less than respectable.

"The truth is Tatsuki-chan, we cannot decide which paths our heart's will take; we are just the ponds that succumb to its decision. Discord and problems in a relationship only make the heart wander more than it already is. When I met Kurosaki-kun I never intended to have romantic feelings for him; he was just there, an outlet for the problems that were happening between me and Uryuu-kun. But as time passed my feelings for him changed from friendship to something deeper. I couldn't control what I felt; it just…happened. I think it was the same with Kurosaki-kun's ex-girlfriend. She was just looking for someone who was completely uninvolved to talk to about what was troubling her heart. Although the reason why her feelings began to falter was her doing, her heart decided who to love and she's not at fault for the decision her heart made."

"Orihime…" Tatsuki said after she comprehended her words, "Ichigo's hurting right now and you're the only one who can help him. He saw her the other week and that's when he started acted like a complete asshole. I think you're the only person who can get him back to the way he was before."

The sandy haired woman smiled serenely at her friend before she stood, "Thank you Tatsuki-chan. I was going to wait to talk to Kurosaki-kun, but right now I really want to see his face."

And with that declaration she left the memories of his yesteryears and the raven haired woman in the small coffee shop.


	17. Chapter 16

When I realized how much of an insecure fool I was, I couldn't find her anywhere.

How could I think anything – before and now – had to do with her? How could I place an ounce of blame on her shoulders when she was the innocent one caught in between? It was due to my insecurities and doubts that caused me to question her. It was due to my cynicism that I placed the blame on her. She had done nothing wrong and instead of getting upset and leaving like any other girlfriend would have done, she smiled that serene smile at me and always spoke with that comforting, composed tone. She was someone that I cared for, someone that was willing to understand me and my quirks, and when I realized that I might've pushed that type of person out of my life, I rushed from my home in a frenzy to find her.

When I stepped from the threshold of my building the heat of the sun warmed my frame from the cool air of my apartment as a husky wind blew the orange strands from my eyes and ruffled my clothes. The sky was a bright blue, lacking the cloudy white puffs that usually accompanied it. A lone bird would waft across the blue as the sounds of the city filled the air, and the smell of summer clouded my senses. I quickly started off towards her apartment, eager to apologize and see the sun that shone in her eyes.

When I arrived, instead of finding her, I found a courtesy note informing those that came by that she would be out for the day. I frowned a bit, but continued on with my search for her. I went by the university but classes weren't in session. I stalked towards the editorial office, hoping to find her bright grey eyes and bubbling personality; but, it's not what I found in the least. Instead, I found a rampaging Yoruichi, stomping around the office, instilling fear into every person she came into contact with. When I noticed the rampage she was on, I tried to quietly escape, but her feline like senses caught me before I made it to the elevator.

"Ichigo!" she screamed as her heels clicked angrily across the floor, "Come here this instant!" she said to me as if I was a child caught stealing cookies from the jar.

She grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pulled me into the office and literally dragged me across the floor to her personal office as I sputtered out obscenities at her to release me. She didn't do so until she slammed the door to her office and heatedly sat down at her desk and glared at me. I gave her the same glare back and snarled, "What was all that for?"

She nearly exploded when I posed my question, her eyes telling me that if I didn't mind I'd be her dinner.

"You know what you did Ichigo! Orihime has been here moping for the past week and a half and I smell that you had a hand in it! What did you say to her? You'd better not have taken out your leave on her! By God if you did Ichigo I'll-"

"I know Yoruichi!" I belted out, cutting her off midsentence, "I know," I repeated in a softer, solemn tone. "It's why I came by, I know I was being an ass and I know I need to apologize to her," I said as I felt my face frown at my arrogance and stupidity, "I-I need your help, I need to find her as quick as possible," I asked, as I clenched my fist and bowed my head.

Every time that I thought about how I treated her, every time I thought of the time I wasted being mad at her made my blood boil. It made me want to bang my head into a wall for jeopardizing our relationship over something in the past, over something so trivial. I just wanted to see her sandy brown hair, her luminescent grey eyes, and her soft wide smile. I wanted to hear the melody of her voice as she said my name and feel her warm slender arms embrace me. I wanted to just apologize and repair the damage I had done that I was willing to do anything to see her.

I heard Yoruichi sigh and looked up to see her rubbing her temples reverently before she shot me another death glare. "I swear Ichigo, you're an idiot! You get the beautiful girl and you don't know how to treat her! You make me want to throttle you sometimes!"

"Sorry" I sighed as I ran a sweaty palm through my hair, "could you at least cue me in as to where she could be?"

She shrugged as she leaned back into her chair, "I have no clue. I forced the poor girl to take today and tomorrow off seeing as how see had worked herself silly. If she's not at the university or her apartment, then I have no clue where she could be at."

"Back at square one I see," I half heartedly chuckled as I threaded my hands through my messy spikes and once again cursed my stupidity, "If you find any leads as to where she's at call me ok?"

She nodded as she crossed her arms under her chest and looked at me with her eyes filled full of emotions I that I couldn't discern.

"Make sure you apologize good and well Ichigo!" she belted as I opened the door to her office, "I remember how you were when I first met you. Orihime has done much good for you. I don't want you to squander something you care about." I pondered for a moment on her statement. Was she really changing me as everyone was implying she was? Was she that much of a positive catalyst in my life that I might have been shedding the asshole persona I had worked so meticulously hard to instill? True, I was opening up to her more and more as time passed, but I was still the same person to everyone else I knew, right? I wanted to think on it more, but realized that I didn't have time to waste on it right now. I gave Yoruichi a nod to her words and quickly left, the need to find her stronger than ever as an array of questions I wanted to pelt her with rolled away in my mind.

* * *

I spent the rest of the afternoon looking, and didn't find a trace of her; the beach, the bistros, the museums, the parks – she was nowhere to be found. I doubled back to her apartment, the university, and the editorial office and still came up empty handed. When she didn't want to be found, it was really quite impossible to find her.

The sun was low in the sky, shooting off lost rays of a rust orange as a dark an ominous bluish purple hue quietly and slowly crept across the horizon. A lone bird flew in the sky, frantically squawking as if it was trying to find its lost companion or alert the others that he was on his way. The nonsensical sound of cars, loud talk, and the life of the city started to beat heavier into my ears as I neared the busy intersection and quickly faded away as I continued my way to home. In the far distance I saw the large complex of my home and my heart twanged as I realized I could possibly be alone in it for the rest of my days. I heaved a heavy sigh and pushed those thoughts aside as my determination to find her quickly flared up in my being.

When I stepped on the threshold to my apartment, I quickly threw my shirt aside and ran my hands through my hair as I headed to the bathroom to take a shower to clear my mind, regroup, and think of how to get in contact with Inoue. But, I couldn't even turn the knob for my shower before someone started beating on my door. I hesitated for a moment and continued with what I was doing, thinking that whoever it was would get the hint and leave. But, that incessant knocking at the door didn't stop; if anything, it increased in its frequency and force the longer I stalled. With my nerves and patience at a breaking point, I roughly shut off the water, stampeded toward my door and prepared to give someone the most venomous, verbal beating I could muster at the moment. I turned the doorknob and yanked the door back about to unleash my ire unto the unsuspecting person standing at my door until I saw who it was.

My anger completely disappeared from my being as I saw two crystal clear grey eyes softly peering up at me. My hands went numb and slipped off the knob of the door as my heartbeat sped up so fast that I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Her hair was even glossier than it had been the last time I saw her. It was an even more beautiful hue of brown that glistened in the dying rays of the sun that highlighted her hair – her being. I opened my mouth to speak, to say anything, but the words I had been piecing together were lost, stuck somewhere in the deep pits of my throat. I promptly shut my mouth and tried to swallow my salvia that now felt as thick as molasses before I tried to speak again.

"I-Ino-ue?" I managed to squawk out in rough syllables, "W-w-what are you-" I started, but before I could finish my statement, the air was knocked from me as I felt myself gravitating toward the floor. My head thumped hardly on the hardwood floor as I felt two slender arms tightly hugging my neck. I felt the soft, moist air of her breathing gently blowing into the crook of my neck as her equally soft body lay atop mine. I heard her very quietly whisper, K_urosaki-kun _into my neck as my mind temporarily blanked. All of what I was going to say flew out of the window and fluttered into the air as I realized that she was here, in my apartment, lying on top of me. My mind was a jumbled conglomerate of thoughts and feelings, wants and desires that I was only able to say the first thing that sprung to my mind.

"I'm sweaty, a-and I smell."

In response her slender arms tightened around my neck as she snuggled her soft body closer to mine. She drew in a deep breath and blew it back out, her wispy breath tickling my neck and sending light shivers down my spine. She breathed softly, slowly, as if she was content to be in my arms and kissed the crook of my neck.

"I don't care," she whispered tenderly, her melodic tone ringing in my ears, "I don't care."

"Inoue…" I whispered back as I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her closer to my frame as I buried my nose into the crown of her head, inhaling the sweet soft scent that was a part of her, "Inoue I-I'm…" I started as my mind lapsed and I grasped for what to say. I wanted to apologize, to absolve her of all the blame I placed on her and beg for her forgiveness. But every time I tried to formulate a sentence I just couldn't put two and two together. I was so content to have her in my arms like this, to simply be graced with her aura. I yearned for nothing more but to keep her like this forever in my arms, her warmth surrounding me like a glove.

"I'm sorry." I heard her soft melodic words but it took some time before they registered. I felt my brows furrow deeply as confusion set in. She languidly withdrew her embrace and sat up, her petite hands on either side of my head as her grey eyes peered down at me. Her hair billowed around her, giving off an ethereal yet soft glow of her face. Her lips were puckered down as her little nose scrunched and her eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"For what?" I inquired as her eyes locked with mine, conveying an emotion I couldn't decipher, "I'm the one who should be apologizing."

She shook her head no, her soft hair following her in cascades as her eyes locked with mine again. Her slender fingers threaded themselves through my hair repeatedly before the traversed down the side of my face and lightly played with my ear.

"I really wanted to see you even though I knew you needed your space to think. I even interrupted you in the middle of what you were doing. I was just being selfish."

I chuckled lightly as I sat up and hugged her tight against me. "How could I ever be so stupid to doubt you?" I questioned more to myself than to her, "How…how could I think to blame you for anything?" I rested my forehead upon hers and locked my eyes with hers as I brushed a stray hair from her face. I palmed both sides of her face, running my thumbs against her soft skin as her eyes glowed at me. "I'm sorry" I said as my thumb touched her bottom lip, "I'm sorry for pushing you away, for making you feel as if you've done something wrong, for being an idiot. I'm…I'm sorry Inoue." I slowly whispered out as my lips descended upon hers.

It had been too long since the last time I felt her tender yet supple lips pressed against mine. It'd been too long since I had felt this ecstasy and known this taste. It had simply been too long and I devoured her. I pressed her closer to my frame – crushing her against my body as I parted her lips and swept through her mouth with quick, definite movements. She met me with the same force and intensity, matching my own while making my desire for her burn with such a fierce intensity that a violent shudder wrecked my frame. I parted from her, breathless as my eyes once again locked with her now dark grey irises. "Inoue," I said breathlessly before I claimed her lips once again, assaulting her with my kisses as I held her, "I'm sorry."

* * *

"I saw my ex-girlfriend the other week." I began after I had finished with my apologies and adjusted myself and her against the side of my couch. "She's getting married..." I began as I tightened my hold around her, "It shook me up and I was all I was able to think about. I think…the part of me that cared for her was still waiting for things to work out and for us to be living like that. The part of me that still wanted her revolted when I heard that and threw me for a loop." I finished as my brows furrowed and a scowl at my lips returned. "That was also around the time when I was put on an indefinite leave. I thought, 'this has happened before' and I was watching history repeat itself. I thought this way because in the past…" I started but as memories started to playback through my mind I halted, "…because in the past, I…we" I trailed as I saw my younger self, as I saw her and her now fiancée. As I opened my mouth to start again, she softly but pointedly pressed her fingers against my lips.

"It's okay Kurosaki-kun, I already know." She said softly as her luminous eyes peered at me, "I know so you don't have to try to explain any further than that." I looked downcast away from her, figuring that it was Tatsuki that told her. I brought my hands up to stroke the smooth flawless skin on her arms before embracing her firmly. "I just don't want to get hurt again," I breathed into her silky straight locks, "I don't want you to get hurt Kurosaki-kun," she replied as she returned my embrace.

"But…" she started as she pulled away from me to look me in the eye, "I'm the same as her Kurosaki-kun. I was still with Uryuu-kun when my feelings for you started to develop. I was still dating him when we first kissed." I looked away from her piercing grey eyes as I stared at the wood floors on which we sat, "It's…it's not the same," I said as I shook my head, "we're…we're different, _it's _different." I repeated as I furrowed my brows deeper.

She grasped my chin with her slender fingers and turned my head toward her gaze. "It's not different Kurosaki-kun," she repeated softly as her gentle eyes gazed at me, "At first I just wanted – needed – someone to talk to and you were there. When I realized that I liked you I wanted to be selfish; I wanted to keep you and Uryuu-kun too. I wanted to have the both of you to myself. But…" she trailed off momentarily as her soft thumb pad caressed my bottom lip, "I knew that day when I kissed you that I'd have to choose…and I choose you. Kuchiki-san and I are the same. But, instead of choosing you, she chose the man that she is marrying. We are…I am…the exact same as her." she finished, her voice barely above a whisper.

I grabbed her wrist, firmly – almost roughly as I glared furiously into surprised her eyes. "You are _not _the same as her! Absolutely not! Your actions, your words, your kisses…the way you make me feel…it's completely different than when I was with her!" I shouted as I my eyebrows furrowed into a hard set scowl, "You don't force me to do anything, you don't make me feel as if I'm not good enough, you don't make me hate myself for who I am or try to change me. You just…you just…accept me for me." I shook my head fiercely as her words replayed through my mind's eye. "No, you're not the same as her and I refuse to acknowledge that you are!" I finished heatedly as her stunned arsenic irises looked at me, "You…you make me do things that I never thought I'd do. You make my heart beat in ways that I thought could never be elicited from a look or touch and you…you make me want to change. I-I don't know what you do to me but it's definitely _not _the same as it was with her," I said as I felt the furrow in my brow loosen and my heart pound out of control, "definitely…_definitely _not the same."

I crushed her into my chest again, momentarily realizing that I hadn't had a shirt on this entire time but I couldn't find it in me to care. I buried my head into the crook of her neck, inhaling in her tender sweet scent as I repeated "not the same" like a mantra into her. I felt her willowy fingers thread through my hair – back and forth – as she lightly kissed my ear. She whispered my name into my ear, - softly, sensuously - as her feathery fingers made a path from the base of my skull, to my ears, to the crook in my neck and back around again. As her hands traversed their path, her hands shimmied up my neck and made their way to my face, cupping my cheeks as she brought my head up to level with hers. Her dark eyes locked with mine for a second before I felt her supple lips moving against mine, parting my lips, and effortlessly maneuvering her tongue into my mouth.

She pushed me back, making my head lightly bump against the arm of the chair as the intensity of her kiss increased. The motions of her mouth – her tongue – were fluid, expertly executed as her slender fingers massaged my shoulders and made their way toward my neck. She pulled me closer as she scooted up, her hips resting on the flat plane of my stomach as her lips melded with my own, predicting and matching my every movement and motion. She was pure ecstasy, something that could not be known with just a look. Her high had to be touched – felt – caressed in order to feel the full effect of it. Loose, electrifying tingles shot up and down my spine as her assault continued. I felt a fog begin to wrap around my mind as coherent thought began to turn into background noise, fading away with each powerful stroke of her tongue. I felt myself going over the edge, going to the point when all self control would be lost to me and I roughly and quickly parted from her lips, my breathing labored as I gazed into her glazed dark arsenic irises.

"Orihime…" I panted out as my hands traveled down and grasped the base of her hips, feeling her small yet distinct bone structure covered by smooth porcelain skin. "What is it…" I began breathlessly as I caressed the smooth skin on her lower abdomen with the pads of my thumbs, "…what is it that you like about me? You…you could have a better man than me – more put together, better looking, and more sociable…why…why do you choose me when you could have someone much better?" I asked as I dragged my eyes to hers, meeting her electrifying stare that made my heart thump wildly in my chest.

"Don't say that Kurosaki-kun," she whispered lightly as she kissed the crook of my neck and gingerly rubbed my shoulders, "I like everything about you Kurosaki-kun," she murmured into my neck, making my body shiver as her moist breath blew over my skin. "I like how you always look a bit disgruntled and disheveled; it makes you look even cuter. I like the color of your hair and I like how it feels in my hands when I play with it," she said as her fingers ran a path into my spiky hair. "I like the way your name sounds and how cute it is." She whispered my name into my ear, making me quiver as tingles ran from my neck to the base of my head as she lightly nipped my ear. "I like how your eyebrows furrow when you try to put on your mean face or the way your lips pucker down into your scowl." She slowly, tenderly, softly, traced the path of my brow as her luminous grey eyes gazed at me and her pinkish red lips smiled at me. Her fingers walked a path down my face, ending their trek at my lips as she softly pecked them. "I like how warm you are and how your big arms always wrap around me, holding me tightly and securely, as if I am the most precious thing in the world." _You are the most precious thing in my world. _I thought as my hands left her hips and wrapped themselves around her. "I like how you always try to come off as a mean, hateful person when in reality that's not you at all. I love your sweet personality that you only show to those you care about and the little things you do to show that you care. I like everything about you Kurosaki-kun and wouldn't ask you to change one thing because all you little flaws and characteristics make you, you. And I wouldn't want to change any of them because they make me like you even more." She finished as she embraced me, her slender arms bringing me closer to her.

"Orihime…"I said as I looked up at the ceiling, "I'm so lucky to have you." I said as I tightened my hold on her, "so lucky."

She giggled lightly as I said that and I looked down at her, a slight furrow in my brow. She kissed my jaw and smiled up at me as a sly grin replaced the smile on her face. "And I'm lucky to have caught you shirtless. I didn't realize how broad your chest was Kurosaki-kun!" she finished as she placed her palms against my chest, awing at how little her petite hands looked on my chest. I felt my face flush deeply and my heart beat out of control as she smiled at me again. "I'll go put on a shirt," I said quickly as I made a move to get up but was quickly stopped by her. "I don't mind," she said as she grabbed my hand and laced her fingers with mine, "let's stay like this." I nodded in consent as I brought her closer to me with my free hand. I kissed the crown of her head before closing my eyes and falling asleep, the soft sound of her breathing my lullaby.


End file.
